Mar 29, 2012

top ten crappy pregnancy symptoms

Been wanting to share some of my less than ideal pregnancy symptoms with you... just in case (1) you haven't reached that point yet (2) you aren't pregnant yet or (3) your male and you have some morbid interest in how crappy it is to be pregnant sometimes.

Top Ten CRAPPY pregnancy symptoms:

(1) Alert the media... crappiest thing about being pregnant. Getting FAT. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's worth it. Still sucks.

(2) The little silver colored zebra stripes that reach from back to front of your belly, ass, boobs - you know, all the things that you focus on when you watch a victoria's secret fashion show... a.k.a. stretch marks and the fear of them. Avoided them with number one, praying for a second lucky streak. Unlikely.

(3) Giant, itchy, dark-nippled, veiny boobs that turn into deflated sacks post-nursing.

(4) Noises squeaking out of places they shouldn't without control. I dare not say the F word. It's one of the worst symptoms for me, personally, as this is something I ridiculed my mother for my entire life. Now, God is punishing me.

(5) Peeing my pants all day, every day, without control and for various and numerous reasons - I hold my crotch when I sneeze, I dribble if I even think about having to pee, when I cough, when I laugh too hard, when I jog, pretty much everything. I am pretty much guaranteed a trip to the urologist after this pregnancy. The other day, in the cosco parking lot, I was eating an ice cream (I went to cosco and all I got was this ice cream!) and walking back to my car. This sweet old man (like 75 plus sweet, not creepy) rolls down his car window as he's driving by and says "awwww. Can I have some?" To which I laughed and said "It's sooo good!" He smiles and says "I bet your married, aren't you? The most beautiful things are always taken..." I laughed and smiled and told him he made my day and peed my pants. No reason. Just peed my pants.

(6) The pimples, skin reactions, rashes, etc. I have them on my face, they itch, they're red, they flake. It's sexy. I also have this rash on the seams of my hip joints, that's itchy and annoying... and it looks like I'm scratching my crotch. So, I'm either scratching my crotch or holding it.

(7) Acid reflux. The other day I threw up in my mouth and had to swallow it.

(8) Crying about nothing. I am not a cryer. I don't judge cryers, but you annoy me. :p ha ha ha. I cry over commercials, stories, memories, everything.

(9) Never using the bathroom, like never. Where does all that food go? Sorry. I know it's gross. But seriously? No wonder I'm putting on a "little more" weight than my doc likes to see... half of it is crap. Literally!

(10) Being tired. All the time. After 10 hours of sleep and two naps. Exhausted.

(11) I know I said 10 but I just thought of one more. My bulging right bicep. Just the right one. From carrying Jane's entire weight in my arm because I have no hips anymore. Just bulging belly.

For those of you trying to get pregnant or early in pregnancy. Enjoy! Your welcome!

Mar 28, 2012

i'm pregnant and i know it

I'm out of town tonight - which you know means i, i, i, i pig out... hopefully this video (which is hilarious and TRUE) will be a good substitute for my typical ramblings. The fact that I didn't think of it myself is both disappointing and relieving. :p Last thing people need to see is my chubby-bummy on youtube. :p

Mar 27, 2012

guest post: daycare for dummies, from a PRO!

I thought, to back up my claims and suggestions yesterday, it might be good to get the advice from a real pro... i.e. not me. :p Obviously, I don't really think you're dummies (just mostly myself, really) but sometimes, on very rare occasions of course, we're so busy/stressed/overwhelmed/exhausted/etc. that common sense fails us. Enjoy!

10 tips to getting the most out of your child’s day care experience

1. Bring your child into the classroom. Don’t leave them in the hall; don’t push them in the door and run off. Come in and say good morning to the teacher(s), tell them how your child’s day has been so far, if they ate well, slept well etc.

2. If we ask for diapers, wipes or cream, please bring them in as soon as you can. We ask, because we are out, or near out, and it’s not fair to use other children’s supplies on your child.

3. Please keep a supply of extra shirts, pants, and socks in your child’s cubby (or wherever their stuff is kept). Not only can there be bathroom accidents, but spills happen. Also, we play messy some days; mud, water and shaving cream make lots of mess.

4. If your child doesn’t have extra clothing, and they get sent home in day care clothes (extra clothes we have had donated), please don’t get upset with us if the outfit is ugly.

5. Keep an eye on the monthly calendar or weekly planning. Make sure your child participates in dress up days, show and tell, and other things we have planned. We do these things for your child. It shows us you care when you support our programming.

6. Try to keep in mind that there are usually 6-8 children looked after by each teacher. Sometimes, on a hectic day, your child may put their shoes on the wrong feet, or still have a bit of snack on their face. It doesn’t mean we don’t care, it just means we are quite busy. We have to prioritize; a crying child or a dirty diaper might come before fixing your child’s shoes. Also, we are human, and make mistakes.

7. Take a little time to get to know your child’s teachers, and help them get to know you. An open line of communication is essential, and it’s so much easier to discuss issues with someone you feel comfortable with. I really enjoy it when a parent asks about my weekend, or how my son is doing, as it makes me feel like I’m regarded as a person, a peer, not just the one who takes care of your children.

8. Be on time! We plan a full day of activities, and when a child is brought in the classroom in the middle of an activity, it makes it hard to greet them while keeping the other children focused on the task they are doing. For example, we have 11 two year olds sitting in a circle, listening to songs and stories. One teacher is directing the circle; the other is sitting with a child who needs extra help to settle. You bring your child in, and they start crying. The children’s attention that was focused on the story is now on your child, and our circle time is over. If you are going to be late, please call and let us know.

9. If your child is sick, not just a cold, but actually sick, keep them home. It’s not fair to a child who feels like crap to be surrounded by 11-17 loud energetic children, when all they want to do is sleep and relax.

10. If you ever have the chance, volunteer in your child’s class for the morning. You will soon get a very good idea of the amount of work we do. We are not baby sitters; we spend a lot of time planning a program with your children’s needs and interests in mind. We spend a lot of time wiping noses, cleaning up spills, changing diapers, and keeping children from hurting each other, and the rest of the time teaching, guiding and helping your child learn new skills and concepts.

I couldn't agree with these 10 suggestions more... and I'm guilty of numbers 2, 3 and 5 at least a few times a year. At least. Thanks to all the fabulous teachers out there! We are so blessed to have such wonderful people in our children's lives! xoxoxoxo

Mar 26, 2012

why i love daycare

I've been thinking about writing about daycare for a long time but needed the inspiration. I found it this morning. It's timely. First, because my sister's just recently decided (after being back to work for a month and barely working a full week due to sick kids) to get a nanny and pull the girls out of daycare. Secondly, because this decision, led to questions from my daycare-friend-moms about whether I ever considered doing the same.

Short answer. HELL NO.

Do I understand the benefits of nannies? HECK YES. We had a live-in nanny growing up (because we were loaded rich - LIE - my mom was a nurse and my dad worked for the city), and she was AWESOME and I turned out freakin' amazingly. :p Do I judge you for keeping your kids at home? NOPE. Do I worship you for having the balls, patience, energy to be a stay at home mom? UNDOUBTEDLY. I couldn't do it. Working makes ME a better Mom - the time I get with Jane is SO precious, so valued, that I am always present - I mean not just in the room! (ok, not always, we'll say 95% of the time - I'm pregnant for crying out loud, I'm only 60% present in this world at any point because the other 40% of the time I'm in la-la-land).

So. Daycare. Oh, the controversy. So many people for, so many people against. Drama, drama. All nuts if you ask me. With everything, I say - DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU - and judge not what works for others. Or, at least, keep it to yourself. :p

Jane's been in daycare since she was 12 months old. I remember our first visit to the daycare when Jane was maybe a week old for our tour. No idea why we went on the tour this early but we did. MISTAKE. You know what you're like a week after your first child is born... um, can we say bubble wrap? Walking through a daycare, envisioning your one week old there, is a little challenging... I hated it. I think I cried because I couldn't imagine every dropping my BABY off to this crazy, dirty (not really but it's daycare! There's crap everywhere!), insane place. Little did I know that 12 months later, this is what my house would look like. :p Twelve months later, I was happy to drop her off. She was a walking, talking, silly monkey and I couldn't keep up with the mommy guilt that I faced daily because I worried I wasn't doing enough to help her develop, that I wasn't doing enough to keep her busy, that I was just passing each day away, waiting for the day to be over instead of enjoying every moment.

Since then, she has blossomed. She is learning SO MUCH. She has close friends that she loves, and I love, that have been with her since the very beginning. It's consistency. It's routine. It's peace of mind for me.

I remember last Spring, driving in the car with her. I was trying to teach her how to count to 3.. So, I'm repeating over and over "1... 2....3.... can you count to three Jane?". She counts to ten behind me and I near go off the road. So. Here's a confession. I didn't teach my daughter to count, daycare did. I also didn't teach her her ABCs, daycare did. I reinforce these things at home and, by God, Dan and I have taught her a lot, but THIS is why I love daycare. The teachers are educated child experts - they know what your child is capable of before you do. Good teachers reinforce the lessons you are teaching at home - manners, discipline, potty training, everything.

But here's the key. You have to build a relationship with the teachers. If you don't talk to them, if you don't tell them your concerns, your priorities, everything, then how the heck do you expect them to get the best out of your child? Every morning I drop Jane off, I talk to her teachers. I tell them if she had a good breakfast. I tell them if she slept well. I tell them what kind of mood she's in. I tell them if she's been doing well with using the potty. Anything I can tell them that will help them better understand my child, I do.

Aside from what Jane learns, it's how she's developing that I love. I can give a lot of credit to daycare for this. Jane was a little shy when she was younger. She still is with adults a little but, with kids, no more. For example, this weekend we went to this family roundup at a local farm. Jane immediately gravitated to another girl her age, trying to talk to her, playing with her, and running to sit with her when we went in to eat. She didn't hang at my side. When her friend went to a spot at the table for lunch, Jane went with her friend, not with me. I loved it. I was so proud of her. I was so happy to see Jane confidently approach and try to make friends with another child. It was one of those "my baby is grown up" moments. Daycare exposes Jane to different kids all day long, all the time. Yes, she is in a room with pretty much the same 11 kids every day. But, every once in a while, a kid leaves, a new one comes, and everyone has to adjust. Plus, when they are outside playing, there's a ton of kids of all different ages. It makes me so happy when I show up to pick Jane up and see her playing and talking to another kid who I don't even know! :)

What I also love, that I know others hate, is that every 12 months or so, the kids are moved to a new room and, thus, get new teachers. Is it an adjustment, yes. But, do I feel like it's beneficial? HECK YES. Fact is, Jane is spending as much time at daycare as she is at home. So, the people who are teaching her and in the "teacher/mommy/guardian" role are having a huge impact on who she is, who she will become, what she learns, etc. Do I want one person impacting who my child becomes or a variety of people? Personally, I like a variety. Jane learns something new from every one of the new personalities and styles of teachers that she has to adjust to. I love that she will be influenced by many different people over the course of her four years in daycare. If she spent the day with someone just like me, then she would turn out just like me, and as perfect as I am, I don't know if I (or Dan) could handle another person just like me! :p tee hee hee. I also feel that this structured change is a great preparation for school which, scarily, is just right around the corner. Not technically. But, time flies! Once this baby in my belly is in daycare, Jane will only have ONE YEAR left of daycare before she starts SCHOOL! OMG, OMG, OMG. Don't even get me started on how I'm not going to handle that.

So those are the main reasons I love MY daycare. I've heard horror stories. I know it doesn't work for everyone and for every child. Are there things I don't like about daycare, yes. There are things I don't like about chocolate - the calories mostly - too. But I still prefer it. :)

I wish I could see what Jane was doing all day. Once. Do I think the daycares with webcams are smart? Nope. Sorry. I bet the parents think it's great when they sign up. To me, checking in on a snapshot of your child's day is inaccurate and just plain crazy. Imagine the guilt if you check in an see your child crumpled on the floor, screeching? HOW DARE THEY! WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY CHILD! What you missed was your child whacking another child across the face with a toy. A snapshot is not accurate or fair, in my opinion, although I understand the draw of feeling a part of your child's day. There are sometimes I wish I could see how Jane was interacting and what types of things she likes to do during the day. But, often, when I  pick her up, I'll watcht her as long as I can before she sees me and I get a glimpse of this. Sometimes it's good - when she's singing or reading stories to her friends. Sometimes it's bad - like when she's crying in the corner BECAUSE she's just been disciplined for flooding the bathroom by leaving the sinks on and spraying the water everywhere (tee hee hee).

K, cutting myself off. I'm pretty sure I've been writing for an hour which means this post is super, extra, way-too long. Face it, you don't tune into my blog for a short, concise blurb....

PS - Coming tomorrow - a guest post from a real, live, daycare teacher - I'd say one of the world's best, in my opinion - with tips for surviving daycare and getting the most out of it for you child!

Mar 22, 2012

it's hot

It's hot as hades here today. Like it's 8:30 and I'm pretty sure Jane is still somewhat awake because it's freakin' 25 degrees in her room. I've been up there three times - once to convinced her, successfully this time, that her fleece (full feet) jammies were not necessary and too hot for tonight. So, we got those off. Now, of course, I'm concerned about the multiple times I'm sure to be woken up tonight because Jane is going to end up diaper-less FOR SURE and peeing all over her bed.

THEN, I went in to bring the fan into her room.

Now, she's quiet - but every once in a while I hear "mommy" and then silence. So, I'm leaving her for a bit.

I'm too hot to sit with a laptop on my lap.

Speaking of hot... remember this?

Dear God,

Thank you for letting me come across this today. I am not a beefcake type of girl. It ain't my thing. Mostly because if I ever dated a beefcake, I'd feel pressure, myself, to exercise and we all know that REALLY ain't my thing. But look at this! Oh Marky Mark. I just want to have a body like that hug me, just once, in my lifetime.


Second Amen to the cooler weather coming back tomorrow. I've had my two days of summer and, I'm itchy, sweaty, exhausted, my feet are aching from being swollen and sweaty in inappropriate (but pretty) shoes all day, and I'm sitting on the couch with my t-shirt pulled up to my boobs, my pants undone and my gut hanging out. I'm bringing sexy back.

Mar 21, 2012

the big announcement...

In standard fashion of Ryan Seacrest, the Grammys, etc. I will make you wait until you read through tons of useless blabber and whatnot before I get to the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT - THE BABY'S SEX!!

For starters, global warming (for today and tomorrow only) is currently my favourite thing in the world... only for the next two days, then I'll start recycling again. :p It's GORGEOUS outside. I wore a dress today. A short sleeved dress with BARE LEGS! And I didn't even have to wear a jacket this morning. What the heck is going on?!?!?

Jane and I went for a walk before dinner and I was wearing a t-shirt and capris (which THANKFULLY, I inherited from my sister because I didn't realize until today but I don't have any summer fatty clothes) and I was HOT. In MARCH. I was HOT in summer clothes! I was wearing my winter jacket three days ago! INSANITY.

And it's supposed to be even warmer tomorrow. Honestly, I feel like this is God giving me a little break. Because, come this summer, I'll be huge and sweaty and swollen and hating the warm weather. So, right now I can enjoy this little taste of summer while I still have some happiness and dignity.

Ok. So.

You ready?

Are you truly prepared for what I'm about to tell you?

It's going to blow your mind...

Baby number two is going to be a.....

We don't know.


What are the chances that out of everyone I know, who've all found out the sex of their little 'uns-to-be, the one with the blabber mouth blog who's sharing it with the world, doesn't find out?

So I went in for my docs appt, just to confirm what I already knew (that it was a girl DUH), and my doc says "so they weren't able to determine sex". To which I responded by laughing because obviously he was joking with me. Then he says nothing. So, I say... "really? we were there for two hours!" He said, "nope, says 'babies phenotype was not able to be determined'". I sat quiet for a few seconds. Then I realized that I was excited! It will still be a surprise, despite my best attempts to control everything, THIS is out of my control. WOOT WOOT! Kinda cool!

I still think it is a girl. I'm thinking that the radiology resident who took our pictures just didn't get a good enough angle in a picture for the radiologist to confirm sex... but I mean, there was NO penis visible. YET, the small percent chance that it might be a boy is fantastic. Not because I care if it's a boy or a girl, just because I like that I don't know!

PLUS, guess what? I now have more reason to procrastinate organizing Jane's clothes. I mean, what's the point of organizing everything by size and bringing it all out of storage if there's even a slim chance it's a boy?? :p

The only thing I'm disappointed for is not being able to talk to Jane about her "baby sister" or "baby brother"... I thought knowing the sex might help us prepare her a little more. But, my good doctor friend told me earlier today that they really don't get it anyways until the baby's here... and she was right. As of right now, Jane thinks she has a baby in her belly too, only "my baby is smaller than your baby mommy"... well, yes, but some of mommy's baby is the several rows of oreos I've eaten in the past five months.

So, here's my plan. Stick with the clothes we have, running on the assumption that I was correct and that there was no teeny peeny... but I'll pick up a few yellow newborn onesies, just in case. So, further to my point about having a baby girl, we've now saved even MORE money because not only can I not go and buy a whole new wardrobe of blue, but I can't really invest in anything pink now either. That sucks and rocks at the same time.

On another note, guess what - this will blow your mind... Apparently I'm still putting on "a little more" than my doctor likes to see, weight wise. This time, I got a little bit of balls and told my doc that he should probably get used to seeing a little more than he expects being that I'm eating like a horse and have no intentions of slowing down. :p He asked me how much I put on with Jane, I told him 35lbs and that, admittedly, there was probably 10 that wasn't necessary but was pure enjoyment. He did point out that I got back into "great shape" after Jane and so he wasn't concerned. Well, FINE THEN. Stop telling me I'm fat! So, I think we have an understanding at this point... I'm going to gain as much weight as my eating dictates, and so far, it's suggesting I will be gynormous. So. There. :)

Mar 20, 2012

Organizational Chaos

I change my mind.

Organizing 3 years worth of Jane's clothes is NOT FUN. At this very moment, I'd rather suck it up and take the expense of an entirely new wardrobe that goes with a boy because I would be starting from scratch. I wouldn't have THREE YEARS worth of sizes. WHY can't there just be less sizes? For example: Newborn-ish, Around 1, 1-2 yrs, 2-3 yrs, and so on. I'm going to start my own clothing line. It will never quite fit your babies but, in the end, you'll thank me.

Right now I can't even remember what my piles are! AND THEN to make things worse, I have clothes that's size 1, clothes that's 6-12 mths, clothes that's 12 mths and clothes that's 12-18 mths. So ARE THESE ALL THE SAME SIZE-ISH?? ARGH! ANDDDDDD, half of them are summer clothes the other half winter! I don't understand how this can happen - I only have one child?!?!

So I have 12 mths summer, 12 mths/size 1 winter. For almost every size range. This sucks.

I've decided to keep jackets, outerwear, and shoes together - vs. grouping them by size. I wish I could remember my logic for this right now but my brain is officially fried from trying, for the last two hours, to remember what pile was what, what season, what to toss and how to organize it all. The only thing I can think is that the jackets were taking up too much space and I'm trying desperately to keep each size range to one container - I'm failing miserably at this already.

I give up.

I want to hire someone to do this for me.

Mar 19, 2012

top ipad apps for babies and toddlers

In light of the new iPad 3 launch... I thought I'd share the best iPad apps for toddlers and/or babies that I've come by - basically, Jane's favourites! The iPad is a life saver. The iPad is our go-to "toy" when we want to go out for lunch or dinner and have Jane with us. It's, at least, an hour of uninterrupted quiet time. Jane got one for her second birthday from her grams and daddy as a surprise - rough life, I know. Fact is, we all use it, but Jane more than anyone.

Why do I love it? It's the 21st century mom's babysitter like the television was the 20th century mom's babysitter. Aside from that, it's WAY better (in my mind) than TV... Jane has learned SO much. Matching games, puzzles, abc's, colours, shapes, everything. It's awesome. I feel less guilt in letting the iPad babysit, than I do Toy Story. Jane can use the iPad as well as I can - she can easily switch from app to app, maneuver youtube with ease, and turn on/off, etc. In fact, she's taught me some functionality I didn't know existed - typical kids, tech-genius. I'm already not cool enough to "get" today's toys.

Anyways. When we first got the iPad, I didn't know how to find good apps for Jane. So, I googled, like any right-minded person would. Here's the problem. I found a bunch of crap. Thus, wasting money on crap - one of  my least favourite past times.

So here's my list. Which should basically be considered the iPad for toddlers bible because I know all. OBVIOUS sarcasm. But, these apps have entertained Jane for almost a year now - so from ages 2-3 yrs so far and still going. This list is NOT in order - it's in order of what I come by first on the iPad. :p

(1) Monkey Preschool Lunchbox, $0.99, ages 2-5 - This was one of our original apps. It's FANTASTIC. It's easy for the kids to use and it's completely interactive - the app cycles from activity to activity automatically so it's never the same thing over and over - matching games, easy puzzles, shapes, colors, sizes, and kids are rewarded every few activities by getting to choose a sticker which is fun and is always reinforcing with "you did it!" I love this one. Top of the tops.

(2) Toddler Jukebox, $1.99 - Twelve children's songs in a fun, interactive format. Jane will sit on the bed bouncing and listening to "wheels on the bus" and other classics. She loves it. It's a great little music app that we've had forever and I still hear "here we go on the bus...!" all the time. :p

(3) Itsy Bitsy Spider HD, $1.99 - Music + a spider you control + rain + bugs + a ton of touch and move type of thingy-me-boppers. This one has been a hit for the last six months. Plus, if you're really nuts, you can record your own voices singing the itsy bitsy song. I did this once, and deleted immediately. Apparently I'm not Celine Dion as I previously thought. It's won a bunch of awards but, mostly importantly, it's mommy brain approved. :p

(4) My First Puzzles by Alexandre Minard Apps, $1.99 each, ages 2-6 - Ok. These are THE BEST. TONS of puzzles, that progress in difficulty from easy peasy all the way to having to put the pieces in in alphabetical order, numerically and even with addition. Jane started on these a year ago and now does the puzzles alphabetically and numerically easily - THAT's a good teaching babysitter, if you ask me. If you look at his "bestsellers" - we have the snakes, dinosaurs, letters, tangrams, and so on. We're on to 1-2-3 domino now and it's so impressive that our babes can figure this stuff out! They are NECESSITIES. SO beneficial - Jane has learned so much from these apps - I cannot stress this enough. I only wish there were more and more and more. If I were only ever going to buy a few apps, I would include at least one of these.

(6) My first words, $1.99, ages 2-7 - This is the same line as above but for words. Love it. Love it. Enough said.

(5) Sound Touch, $4.99 - Ok, so is this app worth $4.99. Not sure. We have the "lite" version (that's FREE). This is a great app for early introduction of the iPad. It was one of the first we got. Basically, there are tons of cartoon pics of animals and cars and instruments and a bunch of categories - kids tap on the pics and a real photo of the item comes up with the sound it makes. It's great. It's simple. It's genius.

(6)  Toddler Puzzle Shapes, Free - Very simple, shape matching game. It's free, Jane loves it. Do you need to know more?

(7) Bubbles, $0.99 - This was a great app when Jane was younger - a great intro to iPad app if you ask me. Fun and interactive. Good for ages 1-2, I'd say. Jane doesn't play with it much anymore.

(8) Thomas and Friends apps, $4.99 each - IF you have a Thomas lover (who doesn't), it may be worth the $5 each to pick up one or two of the Thomas and Friends apps - we have T&F Hero app and T&F Misty Island app. They have an interactive story, videos, puzzles, matching games and so on. Jane LOVES the puzzles and the match game.

(9) I hear Ewe, FREE - Very similar to Sound Touch above but FREE for three "pages" of animals and trucks and stuff that link pictures to sounds.

When all else fails - Jane LOVES youtube. Here are her favourites in a playlist... she'll often watch one video though and then end up checking out the "you might also like" videos. In fact, most of this playlist was created by videos Jane found herself over-and-over and fell in love with.

Hope this gives you some sanity, some free time, some peace of mind and some guilt-free time to cook, clean, bathe, anything. When Dan is out of town, I have no problems admitting the iPad babysits from 6:45 to 7:10pm  every night - Jane sits on my bed and has some tv-free time before bed and I get in the bath and relax. With pregnancy number two, my ability to be the mom I want to be ends at about 6:30pm. Then I call in the best sitter I know. Thank you iPad. :)

Mar 15, 2012

21 weeks pregnant

We had our ultrasound today! WOOT WOOT! When I booked it weeks ago it, March 15th seemed like FOREVER. And here we are. I have a feeling that's how the entire pregnancy will go... except the last few weeks of course when I'm impatient and being insane because I should be enjoying my last few weeks of "normalcy".

Anyways. We had probably the longest ultrasound in the history - went in at around 2:45pm and didn't finish until 4:45pm. But, those rooms, it's like the freakin' spa. It was all Dan and I could do not to fall asleep - the lighting is low, it's quiet, it's warm. Ahhhh. I could have stayed there all afternoon. We were, I will say, lucky enough to have a radiology resident do the majority of our ultrasound. She was super sweet and kept saying things like "look at that beautiful hand" and "that's gorgeous" and so on. So, we had some relief right off the bat. To see these sweet hands spread out and grabbing at her toes, sucking her thumb, posing with her hands behind her head... to cute. So, if you caught on there, I'm saying "her". Don't pull out your pink onesies yet folks....

Here's the thing. They won't tell you during the ultrasound what the sex is. I probably could have tried to ask but we all know when I get into these situations I go from outspoken, loud-mouthed, bi*** to quiet, people-pleasing, don't want to bother anyone, Jen. With all that said, because the resident was doing an incredibly thorough exam because she was wanting to learn and taking pictures of things that aren't "standard" just because she wants to improve and figure out how to identify things, we saw our babe's bum about a bazillion times... and, there was nothing resembling a penis there. At one point, I said to Dan "hunny, I don't want to burst your bubble, but there ain't no bones sticking out between though two femers (thigh bones)". So, by no means would I head to cosco to stock up on pink carters outfits, but I'm pretty darn sure we're not going to be getting rid of the two hundred tuperware bins full of Jane's old clothes in the basement. And, you know what, the more it sinks in, the more I realize how truly excited I would be to have another girl. I mean, we were fairly indifferent. Obviously, Dan's a man, so it's like a thing... they always think it's a boy and they always secretly want a boy. So, it's only now, that we come to the probable understanding that we're having another girl that I'm really putting any thought into it. And, I kind of love it. :)

We got a really good explanation of EVERYTHING, from head, to spine, to diaphragm, to heart, to stomach, to kidneys, legs, arms, fingers, toes... I've never seen so much and learned so much. And both the resident and sonographer, who joined us for the last half hour, only had things like "beautiful" and "gorgeous" to say. And, in truth, looking at the "photos" and from a fairly decent knowledge of biology and anatomy, things looked good. PLUS, we'd been told that if there were any serious concerns that the radiologist would join you to get a better look, whereas, we got the all clear to head after the photos were taken. PHEW! So far, so good.

Even with all the movement and having had a baby before, it's still completely unreal that there's a little growing bug in my belly. I will say, the second time around, the ultrasound was more special - if that makes any sense. Knowing that the little alien-looking creature in there was going to be another love-of-my-life like Jane, just gave me such peace. I could have stared at those images all day and all night. I can understand why crazy Tom Cruise (who I still secretly love due to Top Gun) bought Katie the ultrasound machine for home. I'd be hooked up to that baby all day long - pun intended. :p

We were told that the report would be at our docs by tomorrow afternoon, so I'll call the docs office tomorrow and ask if they can let me know when the reports come in - in case there's time for Dr. P to give me a shout at the end of the day with "the news". Otherwise, I suspect it'll be early next week before we can confidently say "it's a _____"!

Honestly, I told Dan... assuming it's a girl, we just saved a TON of money. Cause had I seen a little boner between those two thigh bones, I would already be on old navy buying as much blue stuff as I could find. :) Now, I get to do something I truly love almost as much as shopping, (Monica alert), organizing! I am excited to go through all Jane's old stuff - ah, the memories - and start finishing up the nursery that currently looks like the aftermath of a serious hurricane.

Okily dokes. I'm off to bed for the night. xoxo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOMMY - the best there ever was! xoxoxoxo

Mar 14, 2012

whats-in-the-news wednesday

This is my easiest and most favourite post of the week... ah, how I love to make fun of others. :p

The twelve secrets of dining out with children - (1) candy, (2) bribery, (3) candy + bribery, (4) empty threats, (5) empty threats followed by bribery with candy, etc. You get the point. Here's a better suggestion, um... have you ever heard of take out? OR, there's this new thing called a babysitter. Golden.

Gifts at Easter? Since when is chocolate not enough? - Anyone who thinks chocolate is not the best gift in the world is either (1) stupid or (2) male (which goes hand-n-hand with number one). :p But I do agree. I know of parents who have bought huge gifts (like iPADs and crap) for Easter gifts. INSANITY. Listen, when I was growing up my mom did the best easter egg hunts. THE BEST. It was so much better than gifts. The hunt is awesome. Parents who substitute the hunt for gifts are lazy. Even when I was a "grown up" and didn't have kids, I used to do hunts for Dan. I don't care how old you are, finding chocolate hidden all over your house is like waking up in heaven. Kids won't remember the gifts in 10 years, they will remember the fun of the hunt though. We need to think like this more often. It ain't all about the $$ people.

10 wacky pregnancy cravings revealed by celebrities - I'm gonna guess this list includes mostly food that has more than -10 calories per serving (i.e. not lettuce leafs and papertowel). I have a theory that I know is not 100% accurate but, I think, has some merit - I have lots of theories in case it ain't obvious. Sometimes, I find, that the healthiest, tiniest, skinniest, most weight obsessed ladies are the same ones who put on 80 lbs during pregnancy. Not all. But sometimes. Example. Me. What I would call a normal sized chick. I put on 35 lbs with my first pregnancy. Not the ideal 25 lbs but not 70 lbs. Why? Because I always eat crap! I didn't get preggers and think WOOT WOOT, now I can eat for two. I eat for two on a regular basis. Some women who are extreme about being skinny and all that crap totally lose it during pregnancy and at their first taste of food with calories, are gonners. I take pleasure in watching them balloon because I am cruel.

Can a mathematical formula predict which celebrity unions will last? - Yes. I'm Einstein. Here it is. 1 + 1= divorce.

Our new friends keep bailing on our dinners - Dear Lord people, really? Can nobody take a hint? Is this person writing the article to try and find out how to get their "friends" to come to dinner... give me a break people. Your friends think you suck! If I don't call you back, I don't want to. If I don't email you back, I don't want to. If I don't show up to things you invite me to, I don't want to. Why can't people just understand that not everybody likes them? I'm positive there's a bazillion people who don't like me. Here's my strategy, I pretend they don't exist and, here's some rocket science, I don't invite them to dinner.

I met the love of my life at a bar - You and 99% of atlantic canadians, 100% of newfoundlanders. So what?

Bed. Time.

Mar 13, 2012

crappiest blogger in the world award

This week, I'm nominating myself for crappiest blogger in the world... I suck, I suck, I suck. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Between working with my manager, the exhaustion that accompanies being "on" all day (because apparently it's very tiring for me to be nice for 8 hours straight vs. just when I'm around people I care about) and, oh, yeah, the little "side project" of mine that's turned into a full-time job (MOmMy bRaIn DEsiGNs), I have no time tonight at all to write anything, again. Isn't that fantastic. I mean, it's not like I typically have anything valuable to say but at least I can usually pull something out that's somewhat interesting or, worst case, funny. Instead you've been stuck with two days of random complaining and blabbering - which is basically a day in the life of my husband.

It's 9:30pm and, you know how much this urks me, I haven't had time to eat. ARGH! You know how I love my after dinner, mindless, unnecessary, just for the fun of it, snacks. I mean, I pretty much start planning them during the last bite of my dinner. Now, it's too late. I'll be in bed in minutes so to eat now is just a really complete waste that, even I with all my issues, cannot rationalize.

Hey want to know what sucks too - my face it back to falling apart again and I think it's worse. Now it's under both eyes. My lips are decaying. My eyebrows have now joined the team. It's fantastic. I'm basically itching my face all day. It flakes and everything. I'm sexy and I know it. Hate me because I am so beautiful.

Mar 12, 2012

complete nonsense as always...

I have nuthin' to say...

I have no idea why I'm so tired today but I'm pretty well the living dead. Which is just fantastic seeing as I have my manager coming to work with me for two days tomorrow - thankfully, he is wonderful and I know I'll get energy just from the adrenaline of wanting to be great for him. Regardless, I figure, come Thursday I'll be near zombie in species. :p

I can tell you this past tense now because, I am a freak and way too crazy to tell share this with the world of creepers out there, but Dan was away all last week for work (AGAIN). And, then was in a stupid tournament all weekend - I hate sports. I was grumpy with him on Saturday morning for it because (shocker) I was tired, and as much as I love spending time with my monkey, doing it alone, when exhausted, and pregnant is sometimes overwhelming - mostly because I can't be the mom I want to be. I can't be the energetic, playful mom I typically am, which bugs the heck out of me.

THEN, to make me feel EVEN WORSE... I wake up Sunday morning in a state of shock because (1) I can tell from how bright it is in my room that it's late in the morning and (2) I can't hear Jane's monitor making noise. Like ANY noise. I reach for it and see it's off. O.M.G. I turn it on. No crying. Singing. She's singing. I run into her room in panic, regardless. She's still in bed (hallelujah, mission - don't dare get out of bed, still accomplished) but she's taken everything she could reach around her bed and obviously played with it and is laying back, just hanging out. Only Lord knows how long she'd been awake. Which broke my heart because, of course, I am thinking she must have been thinking that her mommy and daddy (who were out for a date night the night before and told her "we always come home") must have been big fat liars and not come home. I'm literally killing myself with guilt. Meanwhile, my near three year old, is singing and laughing. This is the definition of being a Mom - our expectations are so much higher for ourselves than what our children have, or need, of us.

She went to bed last night, at regular bedtime, despite the time change... due to me breaking the rules (just once with severe discomfort and fear) and allowing her to skip naptime yesterday. It was successful - except for the 30 mins before bed where she was pretty much the devil here on earth - and she fell asleep no problem. Phew! Of course, then, she wakes up at 1am for - what appeared to be no reason at all - and stays awake, on and off, for an hour. Which means preggers mommy is basically awake for a couple hours.

Anyways - this is your boring, useless, post for today. I love you and I apologize but I have three MOmMy bRaIn DEsiGN orders to take care of from today - woot, woot - the new business is going WELL! If you haven't checked out my shop, go for it! Cause I love you so, I'll give you 15% off - coupon code, MB15OFF.


Mar 9, 2012

20 weeks pregnant

Tonight, I took the time to dig out my pregnancy journal from when I was pregnant with Jane to see what I was feeling with pregnancy numero uno at this point...

Seems I was very excited that "baby was kicking all the time now!" as I took the time to write it out on a page that had no space for me to write anything... as if the exact date mattered. Ah, first time moms... :p tee hee hee. Apparently I was walking every morning to keep us healthy... I should be motivated by my previous self but I'm more annoyed by her trying to do everything "perfectly".

What I really wanted to know, in all honesty, was how much weight I had on at this point in the last pregnancy. I know. I know. You are probably annoyed, frustrated, bothered, etc. at how much I focus on the weight gain. And, truthfully, I considered saying "hey, last time I had 14 lbs on so I'm doing about the same" and just glossing over it but, you know what, that ain't me baby. I am who I am and I share it with you. And the weight gain is bothering the F out of me this time.

Last time, I had no idea what to expect, no idea what was in the future. THIS TIME, I know. I know what it feels like to see pictures of your self post-baby and hate how you look. I know what it feels like to buy size ___ pants and want to die because you can't believe you're that big still - I left the size out because, here's the thing, it's not about being the "perfect" size or being skinny or whatever. It's about being the right size for you.

I also know what it's like to get down to that right weight again. To wear clothes that you dreamed of wearing when you were pregnant and after. To get back into those jeans that are the ultimate achieved goal - I'm not talking about your pre-pregnancy jeans - I'm talking about the jeans, the jeans you've held on to through all the ups and downs because they are so fantastic but ONLY fit you when you're at your smallest. THOSE jeans... Basically, I know what it feels like to be proud of yourself and to feel sexy and attractive again. I also know how long it took me to get there and how bad it sucked along the way. So, yeah. I focus on the weight gain of pregnancy. And, yeah, it bothers the heck out of me. And, YEAH, I wish it didn't. And, YEAH, I know that I'm supposed to gain weight. And, YEAH, I know that I'm not over weight and all that other crap - I'm not writing about this so everyone will try to reassure me, anyone who knows me, knows I hate that crap. And, NO, I'm definitely not trying not to gain weight... in fact, I think I'm eating more this time because I am so stressed about the weight gain. I have the trifecta... I eat when I'm stressed. I eat when I'm tired. I eat when I'm bored.

I'm pretty sure I have an insanely fabulous metabolism, otherwise, I should literally be 500 lbs at this point. No joke. You can hate me for that, yes. Some times I wonder if I have a worm or something that eats all my calories. Some times, after a row of Oreos, I wish I had a worm that ate all my calories... :p

I think, most women who are pregnant with their second or have been will understand when I say that it's not that I am grouchy about the weight I'm putting on right now. I know that's healthy. I know that's necessary. It partly excites me because I know the baby is growing! What I'm dreading is 20 weeks from now... when I have to face what's happened in the mirror, and deal with the consequences. And, for those of you who don't have kids or haven't had kids yet, in case it ain't obvious... you aren't facing the consequences on fair ground. You're not looking at your chubby, saggy, self, full of energy and ready to hit the pavement. You're looking at the bags under your eyes, your frizzy hair, your pimply face. You're happily still wearing your maternity clothes that, at this point, make you feel like Kate Moss. You're happily devoting every minute of yourself to your sweet angel. You put it off. Some of you won't have to. Some of you will find the time, some of you will have the will power, some of you will have the weight gone in weeks. I have no idea how many of you out there are like me, though, and I'd venture to guess that it's more than we'd like to admit.

Do I think this is unhealthy? Do I think it's wrong for me to worry so much about it and think so much about the post-baby weight? Honestly, not really. I wish I didn't put so much value on it but I think that's life. I could go on and on about how it's WRONG that how we look affects so much of how we feel about ourselves but you know what, as true as that is, it ain't reality. Fact is, when I'm at a healthy weight, I feel happier. When I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight after Jane and then, yes I'm bragging, got back down to my wedding weight (it took 18 months and a lot of projects to keep me not bored), I felt like me again and it was awesome.

I hope there's understanding out there... if not, I guess you're all out there thinking "man, this chick is crazy" but you know what, the benefit of that is that you're probably feeling pretty fan-freakin-tastic about your own sanity right now so WOOT WOOT, it's a win-win. :p

With regards to the rest of the pregnancy, I mean there's not much else going on right now except the weight gain and maybe that's why it's such a focus. I guess, this week, I'm technically half way there. Which seems insane because the middle of the summer (I'm due end of July if you're just tuning in) seems like FOREVER away at this point.

I was snuggling with Jane this morning and thinking... man. I can't believe I'm going to have another "baby" like this. It's so hard to imagine loving another person so much. Maybe the extra few pounds we carry post babies is because our hearts have grown so much. AHHHH. I am so corny and annoying sometimes. :p Rarely. Ask Dan. It's rare.

Oh, I just remembered. Dan and I are having a date night tomorrow night - woot woot (thanks Shari - the best babysitter in the world)! We've decided, since we can't get away for a vacation pre-baby due to Dan's work schedule and having no money, that we'll have a date night every month until the baby comes. Tomorrow night is japanese... nummy, nummy.

Have a great weekend!

Mar 8, 2012

KONY 2012

No pregnancy update today. This is more important. :)

KONY 2012

Mar 7, 2012

whats-in-the-news wednesday

Here she is... for those of you just tuning in. On Wednesdays, I pull a few headlines from the news, don't read the articles whatsoever (because I refuse to learn anything new) and make my comments on what I think the article is about...

Why do babies hiccup? - Who cares. Here's a better question. Why do babies cry. OR. Why do babies wake up during the night. OR. Why do babies make you gain 400 lbs when they only come out weighing 8lb 8oz.

Words most 2-year olds know - Here's a few... "No". "NO!" and "NOOOOOO!"

Carribean vacations that won't hurt your pocketbook - Instructions: Increase husband's life insurance policy to multi-millions. Book trip to Grenada. Tell him to meet you on the beach - you'll be the one dress as an "officer" (hint, hint, nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Tell him you like it rough. Your pocketbook will thank you. Going to hell for that one. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's probably better.

Decoding your man's oscar crush - Oh, Jeez, I wish I had the time of day to care who Dan was fantasizing about. As long as it's a female, I don't care. How's that.

10 questions you should ask yourself before having kids - I'm going to save you some time. Number one question - ARE YOU SELF-CENTERED or SELFISH? If the answer is undoubtedly yes or you even think it might be yes, you're screwed. The key to being a great parent, if you ask me, is happily (KEY KEY KEY) volunteering (not giving up) yourself to do whatever it takes to achieve the ultimate goal of parenting - a happy child.

Is it possible to over-love? - Oh my dear Lord. Seriously? We've got kids getting abused, in all kinds of horrible and unacknowledged ways and we're looking into whether you can over-love your kids. Give me a break. Yes b'y (here's come the newfie in me that comes out when I'm angry, drunk or tired)... so Jane's gonna grow up and end up in therapy, crying over the fact that I loved her too much. If you can over-love your kids, charge me and convict me baby. I remember when Jane was born, I got pimpled all around my mouth from kissing her baby-oil greased head so much I broke out for months. I still do it. She wipes 'um off now but I don't care. Sometimes I kiss her and wipe it off for her just because I love her so much.

50% of men have said this by accident - "I love you" or "will you marry me"... FYI, if it's said before, during of after sex, it's probably not true.

Everything you need to know about yoga - Here's the one thing I want to know about yoga. How do you not fart? All that moving around, legs in the air, bending, unbending, etc. And, if you've had a baby, sometimes other areas may hold excess air that must come out as well... somebody tell me the truth here. And, seriously, pre-natal yoga? Like, I'm not even 20 weeks and I'm already to the point that I "squeak" around the house without any chance of controlling anything below my boobs.

Mar 6, 2012

this one's for the girls...

WARNING: This post contains information that may be harmful to certain readers - MEN - reader discretion is advised. In other words, if you're a man (1) why are you reading a mommy blog and (2) I would advise, to avoid cranial explosion, that you find something else to read immediately or else, I'm about to blow your mind - because you're not going to understand this post at all.

One of my goals for this blog is to provide you with strategies for survival when you have kids. Necessary for survival: girlfriends. Necessary for peace of mind, acceptance, reassurance, love, understanding and sympathy: girlfriends with kids.

This post is going to be the easiest thing to write. Why? Because it's already written. Here's a facebook conversation between my girlfriend, Janine (originally, I wasn't going to use her real name because she didn't sign up to have her crap posted for the entire world to see, but she's apparently more like me than I imagined and doesn't give to s****) and I from the other week. This was just after the incident with the cops visiting me and my girlfriend had messaged me basically saying she had the exact same experience (only slightly worse, sorry Janine :p) and, again, gave me peace of mind that I wasn't a total nutball - maybe just like 65% nutball... Background info: we're both pregnant too.

To keep things organized, I'll do my messages in purple and hers in black.

Dearest Scaredy cat friend,
Home alone tonight again... thoughts on locking the cat in the dogs crate during the night time to avoid future 1am police visits?
Currently I am not seeing the cons to this POA... can you think of any?
xo Jen

NONE. Absolutely none. They'll bond in there which is a win-win for everyone!! 
I FEEL FOR YOU!! I hate the heightened anxiety on nights when I'm home alone and can't have wine to ease the ol' nerves. MAN, I miss wine...
I was going to write you earlier to say the following, but my fingers got too sticky to use the laptop (you'll see why): Secret Confession I Can't Admit To Anyone Else That Would Understand - Brenna's home sick so I've been off work since Friday with her. Eoin has worked non-stop and won't be home til late tonight. When I stopped by the Pharmacy after her docs appt this afternoon I loaded up "for the night". Got home at 330pm. By 4pm while she was napping I ate the whole "load". A bag of Bold BBQ Doritos (yes, the entire bag...big bag), a 3-pack of Cadbury Cream Eggs and a can of Zoodles that I decided would be my supper. Yup. That happened. AND to top it off, I just texted Eoin and told him I'm having pregnancy cravings so if he gets home before midnight he has to bring me sour candy. Lie Number 1: I don't get pregnancy cravings, these are just normal, regular cravings that I now have an excuse for. Lie Number 2: More an omission, I have no intention of telling him about my earlier "eats". Lie Number 3: I have half a DQ cake in the basement freezer that I also have no intention of telling him about either. :S I am destined to put on 90 pounds before this baby arrives!!!
I'll be thinking of you and sending you positive vibes so that damn alarm doesn't go off!! And for your pets to behave themselves!!

ha ha ha, YOU ARE ME! 
I always tell people I'm half-bulimic... I binge but I forget to purge. 
Jane was sick this week too, waking up at 4am... so, of course, even though it has no impact, I use my exhaustion as an excuse to eat horrible amounts of food.
Friday supper - McDonalds. Friday after supper - I tell Dan I'm tired and I want crap food to which he responds, "urgh I don't want to eat crap tonight"... to which I respond with silence because in my head I'm going through my list of top ten dan treats to determine which to hit him with. OREOS. WIN! A bag (big bag) of mrs. vickies jalapeno chips and a row of oreos later and I was content. This was after I ate an entire mcnugget meal, including the fact that I stole a bunch of dan's fries (he got a super sized!) before he opened the bag... of course, he says "jesus, where's all my fries" when he opens it and I respond "oh, i know, i barely had any either!" 

So, then. I have this stupid bag of oreos in the house... Write off the entire weekend. Dan had 3 total. They were gone by Sunday. 
Um, and I just finished the second bag of jalapeno chips today for my afternoon "snack". 
Literally, went to the gstore today to get some tofu for jane's supper (LIE) with the intention of grabbing some goodies for tonight. i couldn't even think of anything. THATS how bad I've been eating. I've been eating SO BADLY that I'm sick of all my favourite crap foods. So, I just ate licorice which I pretty much hate. And, I'm having my third "low fat, vegan, chocolate oat frozen cookie thingie" of the night. 
OH, I made myself a goat cheese pizza for dinner. Like on a flat bread from PC, that usually would feed at least two people. I ate 3/4 of the whole thing. 
PS - I don't get cravings that are pregnancy related either - I just get 'um period and then I can think of nothing else until I get what I want...

We are so so so so similar, its scary!! Even as I hit send I thought "wait, what if she really does think my eating is over the top? I'll have to just write back something like 'Just kidding! NO I didn't eat ALL that, I thought it would be fun to just SAY'!" Hahaha!
I'm glad you pull the wool over Dan's eyes too with the "I have NO idea why we got so few fries in our order!" I do that stuff to Eoin ALL the time!! I think he is mostly on to me but he just gives up! God love him...he knows he can't compete...
I'm glad I have someone to commiserate with!! We can just load on the pounds together and get 'em off together in the end!! I'm glad to have someone that UNDERSTANDS me, hahaha!
Happy Secret Eating!! (This is the term we've created for when your husband is out of town or out for the night and you buy and/or eat ridiculously unhealthy foods in secret and when they come home you have hidden the evidence)

i'm depressing myself right now by looking at old navy's spring collection - all brightly colour skinny jeans and tank tops. Not that i'd probably wear them regardless but the fact that I couldn't fit into them is breaking my heart. 
i'm grouchy. which just gives me more reason to head to the pantry. Urgh. i wish i had will power at all. 
on another note, to test how much alike we are, when was the last time you shaved ur legs... 
Typically i am all over this shit. But at this point my leg hair is so long i keep thinking there's a bug on my leg but i think it's just my leg hair blowing in the wind...

Just legs? Or everywhere, haha! The only thing that gets a regular manicure now is the pits! The fact that I cannot SEE my wahoo-li-hooo prevents much maintenance in that department and the legs? Forget it! Sometimes I forget that they even require care at all, let alone ACTUALLY shave 'em! If I'm feeling super-ambitious I'll make an attempt at being a lady again but I feel ridiculously unsexy and shaven legs would not help, haha!
It's weird in my first pregnancy I thought everything was "cute" and "glowing" including weight gain, looking like a blimp, not fitting into things, a burgeoning belly, stretch marks (yes I got them). This time, knowing how hard things are AFTER baby to get back to normal I'm like "damn weight gain, damn belly, fucking stretch marks". Nothing seems cute anymore, haha! 
Skinny jeans, I miss them too. New clothes in general, sigh. Someday...

ha, AGREE 100%. I am not feeling pretty or cute at all. 
And maintenance in all areas is non-existent. The only time anything gets done is before my docs appts so I'm so scared he's gonna have to look at my wahoo and not be able to find it through the leg hair, among other things...  
Last time, I just gave up entirely, and it wasn't until there were like 15 people in the labour room including my mother (she must have been so ashamed) that I was like... shit, i should have bought some nair or something! 
You know what's the worst... the severe, post baby for like 2-3 months, crazy ass jelly belly. Like lose skin, pick it up and shake it crap.  This blows. 
OK, OK, lets think about the positives... (1) we're at least cute in the face, so technically, right now, we're butter-faces and (2) we are going to be so excited when these little ones arrive.

That's all I got for now folks. Hope this gave you a chuckle and, if nothing else, insight into why it's so important to have girlfriends - I'm pretty sure, as much as I love Janine, I could have had a similar conversation with a lot of my girlfriends. Girlfriends are necessary for survival.

Mar 5, 2012

lazy potty trainers

Admittedly, Dan and I are what we've termed "lazy potty trainers"... this may not be the best term. Technically we're more like laid-back potty trainers.

Fact is, when everyone else's kids were starting potty training we were living in our second of three houses within a four month period. It wasn't hap'nin. I would talk to Jane about it "big girls use the potty", "do you want to use the potty", etc. but she constantly said "no" and I didn't push it. Plus, I'm pretty sure the number one rule for doing any sort of training with toddlers is to do it when life is "normal" - not when you're moving, not when a new baby is introduced, not when they're sick, not five things at once and so on.

She didn't show much interest really until 3-4 months ago. And, it wasn't so much interest as it was willingness to sit on the potty and get a treat.

Want to know what our key to success has been though, as of yet, the fact that we haven't made a big deal about potty training. We haven't pressured Jane. We haven't made a big deal about HAVING to pee on the potty. If she wants to wear a diaper, we try to explain to her that big girls don't wear diapers, but if she really insists, we don't fight it. If she wants to be naked, then let the woman streek, I say!

Parent's can screw up a perfectly good kid by freaking out about potty training and trying to keep up with the joneses. Personally, I don't give two craps about the joneses. They probably hate each other. :p

So, Jane's not currently 100% potty trained. I would say she's like 70% there. I would also say that a lot of the initiative has come from her. We've always asked, probed, and tried to talk to her about it and if we tried hard, she'd use the potty for us. But, now, she seems to be taking it on herself a little bit. She's telling me she needs to use the potty. She's telling me her diaper needs to be changed because it's dirty - a BIG step as up until the last week, she would sit in her poop forever if you left her.

Today was the first day I checked her daycare book (where they track what she ate, peed, her BMs, etc. about her day) and she had POP and BMOP all day (peed and pooped on the potty). WOOT WOOT! I told her how proud I was of her and that I was so happy she was such a big girl. She was obviously proud of herself. They pointed out to me that she pooped on the potty. This is apparently a big accomplishment. However, Jane's been popping on the potty since the beginning. Guess what? We've never made a big deal about it. We've never TRIED to get her to poop on the potty. We've never forced it. And, so far, she's always just done it as if it were the same as peeing. No biggie. Pooping on the potty seems to be the holy grail. I'm not saying we've clear the hurdle, but we're at least not starting from scratch.

SO is lazy potty training the best way to do it... Lord knows, I have no clue. Probably (very likely, definitely) not. But, it's working for us so far. KNOCK ON WOOD. I'm going to start knocking on wood every time I say anything that suggest things are going well. My husband, who's the least superstitious person I know (curses us every time by saying "she'll have a good nap today" or "she'll sleep late tomorrow for sure"), told me Sunday morning (after two mornings of 4am wake ups due to a cold) that I cursed us by writing about sleeping last week. So, I now evoke a constant KNOCK ON WOOD clause for the blog. Cause, I can't do 4am mornings when I'm pregnant. Or ever. Which doesn't say much about the fact that I'm pregnant and when this little person comes out 4am is just going to be one of many wake-up times.

If I have any advice about potty training to pass on its FORGET listening to other people, ignore the people who tell your their kids have been potty trained since 8 months (these people are aliens and are likely lying) and take it EASY. Take it easy, please. If parents should take advice on everything, it should be take it easy. There's a reason they don't make diapers for 10 year olds...

Mar 2, 2012

food, nutrients and bribery

Feeding a toddler is about as tricky and manipulative a process as finding a way to get out of the sex you promised your husband the night before when you told him you were too tired and you would do it "tomorrow night, I promise"...

I set my dinner menu for the week on Sunday before I hit the grocery store - in an effort to save money, save waste and save time - that hour between 5pm and 6pm where you stare at what you have in your fridge and realize that it's full but nothing goes together to make a meal. When I plan my meals, I have a few staples meals - meals I know we like and that I know Jane will eat - and a few new things every week.

Jane is a pretty good eater. I'll tell you what changed this immensely, getting rid of bottles. From, say, 18 months on (I can't remember exactly), she had been having an 8oz bottle of milk before breakfast and before bed. Thus, she wouldn't eat much before daycare in the morning and she wouldn't eat much supper because she knew, within the hour, she was gonna have a nice full belly of milk before bed. When we got rid of the bottles, here came this little appetite.

Now she eats a great breakfast - usually some whole grain toast with peanut butter, and either an apple or banana or, sometimes, both. She loves fruit. Not a veggie fan, but fruit wins every time and I'm ok with that. I wasn't/am not a huge veggie fan but I have always been a fruit addict - like I used to get in trouble for eating all the strawberries and apples before anyone else got any when I was a teenager. Not the worst issue for parents to have - way to go mom and dad! Why didn't you just buy more fruit?!?! :p

We are lucky, lucky as, being that Jane is at daycare, we don't have to worry about how she's eating throughout the day. They do snack at 9am, lunch at noon and another snack at 4pm. And, they are strictly regulated here in NS so they basically aren't allowed to have any fun foods at all - all healthy stuff, which is great, because you know she's had some nutrition throughout the day. What cracks me up about daycare is the stuff they feed them, and the stuff the kids'll eat!

I check the menu and they're having chowder and fish and casseroles and all this stuff I've never thought to make and then I see that Jane's had second servings of this stuff! I think lunches are the hardest things to plan because, on the weekends, we usually just play it by ear which means I plan nothing. Thankfully, we usually have a handy stock of that veggie KD on hand, that I mix tofu into for some form of nutrients and Jane loves this. She also, believe it or not, loves wonton soup (?). If all else fails, a trusty platter of crackers, cheese, fruit and whatever else I have in the fridge goes a long way.

Dinner can sometimes be a challenge. Like most toddlers, I would assume, Jane is not a big fan of new things. Actually, that's a bit inaccurate. It varies daily. Some days, you can plunk the strangest meal in front of her and gawk in awe and she shovels it down and asks for more. Other days, you just see her stare and know immediately you've been rejected.

Months ago, I would make her something else if she rejected any meal. That ended quickly. Now, we implement the two bite rule. She has to have at least two bites. And we use bribery 100%. Judge all you want but if Jane eats her supper, she gets a few treats after wards - usually 2-3 fruit snacks. So, we bribe her. If she wants her treats she has to eat her supper. I'm sure this goes against everything an expert would say about establishing a healthy relationship with food but, fact is, I have dessert after every dinner - a piece of chocolate, a small frozen yougurt, and I've never been obese. Plus, these experts would probably chime in and criticize me and then go home and bribe their kids the same way. Bribery is survival. It's like the overweight doctor telling you you need to lose a few pounds...

Like my bedtime routine, we have morning routines and dinner routines as well that I think contribute to our success in the eating department. These routines were not enforced or implemented purposefully, but fact is, most of us unknowingly have a routine. Kids thrive on routine. "Out of the ordinary" means stress for kids. Consistency with everything related to kids - eating, discipline, sleep, everything = peace = happiness = stress free kids = success (in my opinion). Of course, everyone needs a little spontaneity - some Saturday mornings, Jane and I will sneak out into the car in our pajamas while Dan is still sleeping and hit up Tim Hortons to share a bagel (and coffee for mom) - we call them pajama drives. We drive to see the horsies down the street, the ocean, etc. The people at Hatfield Farms have seen our car and our pajamas on many a morning. But most mornings/dinners are routine.

For example, Jane still eats in her high chair. Every night. I'm not saying your kids should. But, for us, we've found that basically locking her in is the only way to ensure she'll stay focused on eating and eat until she's full - it gives us the control over her to ensure we're not chasing her around the house while she tries to avoid having a few bites of something new, or having those last two bites that we always ask for. It gives us the control and her the focus. We've tried letting her sit at the table but we end up having to ask her to eat, having to bring her back to the table 100 times, etc. So, every night, she gets up in her "big girl chair" and that's that. She stays there until she eats her dinner and even stays there for her treats.

When all else fails and she has her obligatory "two bites" of something but still doesn't like it. She comes out of the chair, after Dan and I are finished eating our supper. I will not give her something else right away. I don't want to teach her that she can choose what she eats for dinner because I fear this will result in me making a million meals each night, playing a guessing game at what she wants - giving her the control, not a good idea - she's nearly three, she'd choose candy every time :p. As far as she knows, dinner is over and she didn't eat it. In my house, THIS is supper and that's that. If you don't like it, you starve. No, not really. Duh. But usually, we'll wait another half hour and then I'll give her something else - toast, cheese, fruit, etc. Something to fill her belly before bed.

As a back up, about six months ago, we started giving Jane vitamins. Do I believe in vitamins, not really. I'm pretty sure you pee most of them out. But it's more like vitamins for my mommy guilt. It gives me peace of mind that on the days those rare days that Jane lives off bread and macaroni she may be getting something she's missing from them.

My most important goals when getting Jane to eat is to (1) make sure she has some protein (2) make sure she has some vegetable or fruit (i'm not choosy) (3) make sure she eats enough that she's not going to get hungry at school or before bed and (4) try new things with her. The easiest thing to do as a mom is stick to the same things over and over for dinners every week and never give her anything new because, usually, new things get rejected. But, at least once a week, I try to make something new and you'd be surprised at the successes - she loves slow cooker BBQ ribs, like LOVES - won't eat anything on her plate and wants seconds. She LOVES salmon and risotto, she loves rigatoni with asiago cheese and vodka rose sauce (WTF?).

I just realized as I was typing those things that I do this without thinking... if I try something new, I always introduce it with a side dish or a protein that I know she likes. That way she's being introduced to something new with something old so it's not BAM in her face nothing she recognizes. Plus, this ensures that she'll at least get something in her belly.

You know I don't like to be advice-y. My motto is always - do what works for you and ignore anyone who tells you that's wrong. But, sometimes I like to share what works for me in case there's anything there that will help you and, in hopes, that you'll share some things back that maybe I can work in too!

So, people, SHARE! Share recipes, anything! Anybody got any good recipe sites or recipes that your babes love that you can send me the link to?? Do it up!