why i love daycare

I've been thinking about writing about daycare for a long time but needed the inspiration. I found it this morning. It's timely. First, because my sister's just recently decided (after being back to work for a month and barely working a full week due to sick kids) to get a nanny and pull the girls out of daycare. Secondly, because this decision, led to questions from my daycare-friend-moms about whether I ever considered doing the same.

Short answer. HELL NO.

Do I understand the benefits of nannies? HECK YES. We had a live-in nanny growing up (because we were loaded rich - LIE - my mom was a nurse and my dad worked for the city), and she was AWESOME and I turned out freakin' amazingly. :p Do I judge you for keeping your kids at home? NOPE. Do I worship you for having the balls, patience, energy to be a stay at home mom? UNDOUBTEDLY. I couldn't do it. Working makes ME a better Mom - the time I get with Jane is SO precious, so valued, that I am always present - I mean not just in the room! (ok, not always, we'll say 95% of the time - I'm pregnant for crying out loud, I'm only 60% present in this world at any point because the other 40% of the time I'm in la-la-land).

So. Daycare. Oh, the controversy. So many people for, so many people against. Drama, drama. All nuts if you ask me. With everything, I say - DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU - and judge not what works for others. Or, at least, keep it to yourself. :p

Jane's been in daycare since she was 12 months old. I remember our first visit to the daycare when Jane was maybe a week old for our tour. No idea why we went on the tour this early but we did. MISTAKE. You know what you're like a week after your first child is born... um, can we say bubble wrap? Walking through a daycare, envisioning your one week old there, is a little challenging... I hated it. I think I cried because I couldn't imagine every dropping my BABY off to this crazy, dirty (not really but it's daycare! There's crap everywhere!), insane place. Little did I know that 12 months later, this is what my house would look like. :p Twelve months later, I was happy to drop her off. She was a walking, talking, silly monkey and I couldn't keep up with the mommy guilt that I faced daily because I worried I wasn't doing enough to help her develop, that I wasn't doing enough to keep her busy, that I was just passing each day away, waiting for the day to be over instead of enjoying every moment.

Since then, she has blossomed. She is learning SO MUCH. She has close friends that she loves, and I love, that have been with her since the very beginning. It's consistency. It's routine. It's peace of mind for me.

I remember last Spring, driving in the car with her. I was trying to teach her how to count to 3.. So, I'm repeating over and over "1... 2....3.... can you count to three Jane?". She counts to ten behind me and I near go off the road. So. Here's a confession. I didn't teach my daughter to count, daycare did. I also didn't teach her her ABCs, daycare did. I reinforce these things at home and, by God, Dan and I have taught her a lot, but THIS is why I love daycare. The teachers are educated child experts - they know what your child is capable of before you do. Good teachers reinforce the lessons you are teaching at home - manners, discipline, potty training, everything.

But here's the key. You have to build a relationship with the teachers. If you don't talk to them, if you don't tell them your concerns, your priorities, everything, then how the heck do you expect them to get the best out of your child? Every morning I drop Jane off, I talk to her teachers. I tell them if she had a good breakfast. I tell them if she slept well. I tell them what kind of mood she's in. I tell them if she's been doing well with using the potty. Anything I can tell them that will help them better understand my child, I do.

Aside from what Jane learns, it's how she's developing that I love. I can give a lot of credit to daycare for this. Jane was a little shy when she was younger. She still is with adults a little but, with kids, no more. For example, this weekend we went to this family roundup at a local farm. Jane immediately gravitated to another girl her age, trying to talk to her, playing with her, and running to sit with her when we went in to eat. She didn't hang at my side. When her friend went to a spot at the table for lunch, Jane went with her friend, not with me. I loved it. I was so proud of her. I was so happy to see Jane confidently approach and try to make friends with another child. It was one of those "my baby is grown up" moments. Daycare exposes Jane to different kids all day long, all the time. Yes, she is in a room with pretty much the same 11 kids every day. But, every once in a while, a kid leaves, a new one comes, and everyone has to adjust. Plus, when they are outside playing, there's a ton of kids of all different ages. It makes me so happy when I show up to pick Jane up and see her playing and talking to another kid who I don't even know! :)

What I also love, that I know others hate, is that every 12 months or so, the kids are moved to a new room and, thus, get new teachers. Is it an adjustment, yes. But, do I feel like it's beneficial? HECK YES. Fact is, Jane is spending as much time at daycare as she is at home. So, the people who are teaching her and in the "teacher/mommy/guardian" role are having a huge impact on who she is, who she will become, what she learns, etc. Do I want one person impacting who my child becomes or a variety of people? Personally, I like a variety. Jane learns something new from every one of the new personalities and styles of teachers that she has to adjust to. I love that she will be influenced by many different people over the course of her four years in daycare. If she spent the day with someone just like me, then she would turn out just like me, and as perfect as I am, I don't know if I (or Dan) could handle another person just like me! :p tee hee hee. I also feel that this structured change is a great preparation for school which, scarily, is just right around the corner. Not technically. But, time flies! Once this baby in my belly is in daycare, Jane will only have ONE YEAR left of daycare before she starts SCHOOL! OMG, OMG, OMG. Don't even get me started on how I'm not going to handle that.

So those are the main reasons I love MY daycare. I've heard horror stories. I know it doesn't work for everyone and for every child. Are there things I don't like about daycare, yes. There are things I don't like about chocolate - the calories mostly - too. But I still prefer it. :)

I wish I could see what Jane was doing all day. Once. Do I think the daycares with webcams are smart? Nope. Sorry. I bet the parents think it's great when they sign up. To me, checking in on a snapshot of your child's day is inaccurate and just plain crazy. Imagine the guilt if you check in an see your child crumpled on the floor, screeching? HOW DARE THEY! WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY CHILD! What you missed was your child whacking another child across the face with a toy. A snapshot is not accurate or fair, in my opinion, although I understand the draw of feeling a part of your child's day. There are sometimes I wish I could see how Jane was interacting and what types of things she likes to do during the day. But, often, when I  pick her up, I'll watcht her as long as I can before she sees me and I get a glimpse of this. Sometimes it's good - when she's singing or reading stories to her friends. Sometimes it's bad - like when she's crying in the corner BECAUSE she's just been disciplined for flooding the bathroom by leaving the sinks on and spraying the water everywhere (tee hee hee).

K, cutting myself off. I'm pretty sure I've been writing for an hour which means this post is super, extra, way-too long. Face it, you don't tune into my blog for a short, concise blurb....

PS - Coming tomorrow - a guest post from a real, live, daycare teacher - I'd say one of the world's best, in my opinion - with tips for surviving daycare and getting the most out of it for you child!

it's hot

It's hot as hades here today. Like it's 8:30 and I'm pretty sure Jane is still somewhat awake because it's freakin' 25 degrees in her room. I've been up there three times - once to convinced her, successfully this time, that her fleece (full feet) jammies were not necessary and too hot for tonight. So, we got those off. Now, of course, I'm concerned about the multiple times I'm sure to be woken up tonight because Jane is going to end up diaper-less FOR SURE and peeing all over her bed.

THEN, I went in to bring the fan into her room.

Now, she's quiet - but every once in a while I hear "mommy" and then silence. So, I'm leaving her for a bit.

I'm too hot to sit with a laptop on my lap.

Speaking of hot... remember this?

Dear God,

Thank you for letting me come across this today. I am not a beefcake type of girl. It ain't my thing. Mostly because if I ever dated a beefcake, I'd feel pressure, myself, to exercise and we all know that REALLY ain't my thing. But look at this! Oh Marky Mark. I just want to have a body like that hug me, just once, in my lifetime.

Amen.

Second Amen to the cooler weather coming back tomorrow. I've had my two days of summer and, I'm itchy, sweaty, exhausted, my feet are aching from being swollen and sweaty in inappropriate (but pretty) shoes all day, and I'm sitting on the couch with my t-shirt pulled up to my boobs, my pants undone and my gut hanging out. I'm bringing sexy back.

the big announcement...

In standard fashion of Ryan Seacrest, the Grammys, etc. I will make you wait until you read through tons of useless blabber and whatnot before I get to the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT - THE BABY'S SEX!!

For starters, global warming (for today and tomorrow only) is currently my favourite thing in the world... only for the next two days, then I'll start recycling again. :p It's GORGEOUS outside. I wore a dress today. A short sleeved dress with BARE LEGS! And I didn't even have to wear a jacket this morning. What the heck is going on?!?!?

Jane and I went for a walk before dinner and I was wearing a t-shirt and capris (which THANKFULLY, I inherited from my sister because I didn't realize until today but I don't have any summer fatty clothes) and I was HOT. In MARCH. I was HOT in summer clothes! I was wearing my winter jacket three days ago! INSANITY.

And it's supposed to be even warmer tomorrow. Honestly, I feel like this is God giving me a little break. Because, come this summer, I'll be huge and sweaty and swollen and hating the warm weather. So, right now I can enjoy this little taste of summer while I still have some happiness and dignity.

Ok. So.

You ready?

Are you truly prepared for what I'm about to tell you?

It's going to blow your mind...

Baby number two is going to be a.....

We don't know.

HA!

What are the chances that out of everyone I know, who've all found out the sex of their little 'uns-to-be, the one with the blabber mouth blog who's sharing it with the world, doesn't find out?

So I went in for my docs appt, just to confirm what I already knew (that it was a girl DUH), and my doc says "so they weren't able to determine sex". To which I responded by laughing because obviously he was joking with me. Then he says nothing. So, I say... "really? we were there for two hours!" He said, "nope, says 'babies phenotype was not able to be determined'". I sat quiet for a few seconds. Then I realized that I was excited! It will still be a surprise, despite my best attempts to control everything, THIS is out of my control. WOOT WOOT! Kinda cool!

I still think it is a girl. I'm thinking that the radiology resident who took our pictures just didn't get a good enough angle in a picture for the radiologist to confirm sex... but I mean, there was NO penis visible. YET, the small percent chance that it might be a boy is fantastic. Not because I care if it's a boy or a girl, just because I like that I don't know!

PLUS, guess what? I now have more reason to procrastinate organizing Jane's clothes. I mean, what's the point of organizing everything by size and bringing it all out of storage if there's even a slim chance it's a boy?? :p

The only thing I'm disappointed for is not being able to talk to Jane about her "baby sister" or "baby brother"... I thought knowing the sex might help us prepare her a little more. But, my good doctor friend told me earlier today that they really don't get it anyways until the baby's here... and she was right. As of right now, Jane thinks she has a baby in her belly too, only "my baby is smaller than your baby mommy"... well, yes, but some of mommy's baby is the several rows of oreos I've eaten in the past five months.

So, here's my plan. Stick with the clothes we have, running on the assumption that I was correct and that there was no teeny peeny... but I'll pick up a few yellow newborn onesies, just in case. So, further to my point about having a baby girl, we've now saved even MORE money because not only can I not go and buy a whole new wardrobe of blue, but I can't really invest in anything pink now either. That sucks and rocks at the same time.

On another note, guess what - this will blow your mind... Apparently I'm still putting on "a little more" than my doctor likes to see, weight wise. This time, I got a little bit of balls and told my doc that he should probably get used to seeing a little more than he expects being that I'm eating like a horse and have no intentions of slowing down. :p He asked me how much I put on with Jane, I told him 35lbs and that, admittedly, there was probably 10 that wasn't necessary but was pure enjoyment. He did point out that I got back into "great shape" after Jane and so he wasn't concerned. Well, FINE THEN. Stop telling me I'm fat! So, I think we have an understanding at this point... I'm going to gain as much weight as my eating dictates, and so far, it's suggesting I will be gynormous. So. There. :)

Organizational Chaos

I change my mind.

Organizing 3 years worth of Jane's clothes is NOT FUN. At this very moment, I'd rather suck it up and take the expense of an entirely new wardrobe that goes with a boy because I would be starting from scratch. I wouldn't have THREE YEARS worth of sizes. WHY can't there just be less sizes? For example: Newborn-ish, Around 1, 1-2 yrs, 2-3 yrs, and so on. I'm going to start my own clothing line. It will never quite fit your babies but, in the end, you'll thank me.

Right now I can't even remember what my piles are! AND THEN to make things worse, I have clothes that's size 1, clothes that's 6-12 mths, clothes that's 12 mths and clothes that's 12-18 mths. So ARE THESE ALL THE SAME SIZE-ISH?? ARGH! ANDDDDDD, half of them are summer clothes the other half winter! I don't understand how this can happen - I only have one child?!?!

So I have 12 mths summer, 12 mths/size 1 winter. For almost every size range. This sucks.

I've decided to keep jackets, outerwear, and shoes together - vs. grouping them by size. I wish I could remember my logic for this right now but my brain is officially fried from trying, for the last two hours, to remember what pile was what, what season, what to toss and how to organize it all. The only thing I can think is that the jackets were taking up too much space and I'm trying desperately to keep each size range to one container - I'm failing miserably at this already.

I give up.

I want to hire someone to do this for me.

top ipad apps for babies and toddlers

In light of the new iPad 3 launch... I thought I'd share the best iPad apps for toddlers and/or babies that I've come by - basically, Jane's favourites! The iPad is a life saver. The iPad is our go-to "toy" when we want to go out for lunch or dinner and have Jane with us. It's, at least, an hour of uninterrupted quiet time. Jane got one for her second birthday from her grams and daddy as a surprise - rough life, I know. Fact is, we all use it, but Jane more than anyone.

Why do I love it? It's the 21st century mom's babysitter like the television was the 20th century mom's babysitter. Aside from that, it's WAY better (in my mind) than TV... Jane has learned SO much. Matching games, puzzles, abc's, colours, shapes, everything. It's awesome. I feel less guilt in letting the iPad babysit, than I do Toy Story. Jane can use the iPad as well as I can - she can easily switch from app to app, maneuver youtube with ease, and turn on/off, etc. In fact, she's taught me some functionality I didn't know existed - typical kids, tech-genius. I'm already not cool enough to "get" today's toys.

Anyways. When we first got the iPad, I didn't know how to find good apps for Jane. So, I googled, like any right-minded person would. Here's the problem. I found a bunch of crap. Thus, wasting money on crap - one of  my least favourite past times.

So here's my list. Which should basically be considered the iPad for toddlers bible because I know all. OBVIOUS sarcasm. But, these apps have entertained Jane for almost a year now - so from ages 2-3 yrs so far and still going. This list is NOT in order - it's in order of what I come by first on the iPad. :p

(1) Monkey Preschool Lunchbox, $0.99, ages 2-5 - This was one of our original apps. It's FANTASTIC. It's easy for the kids to use and it's completely interactive - the app cycles from activity to activity automatically so it's never the same thing over and over - matching games, easy puzzles, shapes, colors, sizes, and kids are rewarded every few activities by getting to choose a sticker which is fun and is always reinforcing with "you did it!" I love this one. Top of the tops.

(2) Toddler Jukebox, $1.99 - Twelve children's songs in a fun, interactive format. Jane will sit on the bed bouncing and listening to "wheels on the bus" and other classics. She loves it. It's a great little music app that we've had forever and I still hear "here we go on the bus...!" all the time. :p

(3) Itsy Bitsy Spider HD, $1.99 - Music + a spider you control + rain + bugs + a ton of touch and move type of thingy-me-boppers. This one has been a hit for the last six months. Plus, if you're really nuts, you can record your own voices singing the itsy bitsy song. I did this once, and deleted immediately. Apparently I'm not Celine Dion as I previously thought. It's won a bunch of awards but, mostly importantly, it's mommy brain approved. :p

(4) My First Puzzles by Alexandre Minard Apps, $1.99 each, ages 2-6 - Ok. These are THE BEST. TONS of puzzles, that progress in difficulty from easy peasy all the way to having to put the pieces in in alphabetical order, numerically and even with addition. Jane started on these a year ago and now does the puzzles alphabetically and numerically easily - THAT's a good teaching babysitter, if you ask me. If you look at his "bestsellers" - we have the snakes, dinosaurs, letters, tangrams, and so on. We're on to 1-2-3 domino now and it's so impressive that our babes can figure this stuff out! They are NECESSITIES. SO beneficial - Jane has learned so much from these apps - I cannot stress this enough. I only wish there were more and more and more. If I were only ever going to buy a few apps, I would include at least one of these.

(6) My first words, $1.99, ages 2-7 - This is the same line as above but for words. Love it. Love it. Enough said.

(5) Sound Touch, $4.99 - Ok, so is this app worth $4.99. Not sure. We have the "lite" version (that's FREE). This is a great app for early introduction of the iPad. It was one of the first we got. Basically, there are tons of cartoon pics of animals and cars and instruments and a bunch of categories - kids tap on the pics and a real photo of the item comes up with the sound it makes. It's great. It's simple. It's genius.

(6)  Toddler Puzzle Shapes, Free - Very simple, shape matching game. It's free, Jane loves it. Do you need to know more?

(7) Bubbles, $0.99 - This was a great app when Jane was younger - a great intro to iPad app if you ask me. Fun and interactive. Good for ages 1-2, I'd say. Jane doesn't play with it much anymore.

(8) Thomas and Friends apps, $4.99 each - IF you have a Thomas lover (who doesn't), it may be worth the $5 each to pick up one or two of the Thomas and Friends apps - we have T&F Hero app and T&F Misty Island app. They have an interactive story, videos, puzzles, matching games and so on. Jane LOVES the puzzles and the match game.

(9) I hear Ewe, FREE - Very similar to Sound Touch above but FREE for three "pages" of animals and trucks and stuff that link pictures to sounds.

When all else fails - Jane LOVES youtube. Here are her favourites in a playlist... she'll often watch one video though and then end up checking out the "you might also like" videos. In fact, most of this playlist was created by videos Jane found herself over-and-over and fell in love with.



Hope this gives you some sanity, some free time, some peace of mind and some guilt-free time to cook, clean, bathe, anything. When Dan is out of town, I have no problems admitting the iPad babysits from 6:45 to 7:10pm  every night - Jane sits on my bed and has some tv-free time before bed and I get in the bath and relax. With pregnancy number two, my ability to be the mom I want to be ends at about 6:30pm. Then I call in the best sitter I know. Thank you iPad. :)

21 weeks pregnant

We had our ultrasound today! WOOT WOOT! When I booked it weeks ago it, March 15th seemed like FOREVER. And here we are. I have a feeling that's how the entire pregnancy will go... except the last few weeks of course when I'm impatient and being insane because I should be enjoying my last few weeks of "normalcy".

Anyways. We had probably the longest ultrasound in the history - went in at around 2:45pm and didn't finish until 4:45pm. But, those rooms, it's like the freakin' spa. It was all Dan and I could do not to fall asleep - the lighting is low, it's quiet, it's warm. Ahhhh. I could have stayed there all afternoon. We were, I will say, lucky enough to have a radiology resident do the majority of our ultrasound. She was super sweet and kept saying things like "look at that beautiful hand" and "that's gorgeous" and so on. So, we had some relief right off the bat. To see these sweet hands spread out and grabbing at her toes, sucking her thumb, posing with her hands behind her head... to cute. So, if you caught on there, I'm saying "her". Don't pull out your pink onesies yet folks....

Here's the thing. They won't tell you during the ultrasound what the sex is. I probably could have tried to ask but we all know when I get into these situations I go from outspoken, loud-mouthed, bi*** to quiet, people-pleasing, don't want to bother anyone, Jen. With all that said, because the resident was doing an incredibly thorough exam because she was wanting to learn and taking pictures of things that aren't "standard" just because she wants to improve and figure out how to identify things, we saw our babe's bum about a bazillion times... and, there was nothing resembling a penis there. At one point, I said to Dan "hunny, I don't want to burst your bubble, but there ain't no bones sticking out between though two femers (thigh bones)". So, by no means would I head to cosco to stock up on pink carters outfits, but I'm pretty darn sure we're not going to be getting rid of the two hundred tuperware bins full of Jane's old clothes in the basement. And, you know what, the more it sinks in, the more I realize how truly excited I would be to have another girl. I mean, we were fairly indifferent. Obviously, Dan's a man, so it's like a thing... they always think it's a boy and they always secretly want a boy. So, it's only now, that we come to the probable understanding that we're having another girl that I'm really putting any thought into it. And, I kind of love it. :)

We got a really good explanation of EVERYTHING, from head, to spine, to diaphragm, to heart, to stomach, to kidneys, legs, arms, fingers, toes... I've never seen so much and learned so much. And both the resident and sonographer, who joined us for the last half hour, only had things like "beautiful" and "gorgeous" to say. And, in truth, looking at the "photos" and from a fairly decent knowledge of biology and anatomy, things looked good. PLUS, we'd been told that if there were any serious concerns that the radiologist would join you to get a better look, whereas, we got the all clear to head after the photos were taken. PHEW! So far, so good.

Even with all the movement and having had a baby before, it's still completely unreal that there's a little growing bug in my belly. I will say, the second time around, the ultrasound was more special - if that makes any sense. Knowing that the little alien-looking creature in there was going to be another love-of-my-life like Jane, just gave me such peace. I could have stared at those images all day and all night. I can understand why crazy Tom Cruise (who I still secretly love due to Top Gun) bought Katie the ultrasound machine for home. I'd be hooked up to that baby all day long - pun intended. :p

We were told that the report would be at our docs by tomorrow afternoon, so I'll call the docs office tomorrow and ask if they can let me know when the reports come in - in case there's time for Dr. P to give me a shout at the end of the day with "the news". Otherwise, I suspect it'll be early next week before we can confidently say "it's a _____"!

Honestly, I told Dan... assuming it's a girl, we just saved a TON of money. Cause had I seen a little boner between those two thigh bones, I would already be on old navy buying as much blue stuff as I could find. :) Now, I get to do something I truly love almost as much as shopping, (Monica alert), organizing! I am excited to go through all Jane's old stuff - ah, the memories - and start finishing up the nursery that currently looks like the aftermath of a serious hurricane.

Okily dokes. I'm off to bed for the night. xoxo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOMMY - the best there ever was! xoxoxoxo

whats-in-the-news wednesday

This is my easiest and most favourite post of the week... ah, how I love to make fun of others. :p

The twelve secrets of dining out with children - (1) candy, (2) bribery, (3) candy + bribery, (4) empty threats, (5) empty threats followed by bribery with candy, etc. You get the point. Here's a better suggestion, um... have you ever heard of take out? OR, there's this new thing called a babysitter. Golden.

Gifts at Easter? Since when is chocolate not enough? - Anyone who thinks chocolate is not the best gift in the world is either (1) stupid or (2) male (which goes hand-n-hand with number one). :p But I do agree. I know of parents who have bought huge gifts (like iPADs and crap) for Easter gifts. INSANITY. Listen, when I was growing up my mom did the best easter egg hunts. THE BEST. It was so much better than gifts. The hunt is awesome. Parents who substitute the hunt for gifts are lazy. Even when I was a "grown up" and didn't have kids, I used to do hunts for Dan. I don't care how old you are, finding chocolate hidden all over your house is like waking up in heaven. Kids won't remember the gifts in 10 years, they will remember the fun of the hunt though. We need to think like this more often. It ain't all about the $$ people.

10 wacky pregnancy cravings revealed by celebrities - I'm gonna guess this list includes mostly food that has more than -10 calories per serving (i.e. not lettuce leafs and papertowel). I have a theory that I know is not 100% accurate but, I think, has some merit - I have lots of theories in case it ain't obvious. Sometimes, I find, that the healthiest, tiniest, skinniest, most weight obsessed ladies are the same ones who put on 80 lbs during pregnancy. Not all. But sometimes. Example. Me. What I would call a normal sized chick. I put on 35 lbs with my first pregnancy. Not the ideal 25 lbs but not 70 lbs. Why? Because I always eat crap! I didn't get preggers and think WOOT WOOT, now I can eat for two. I eat for two on a regular basis. Some women who are extreme about being skinny and all that crap totally lose it during pregnancy and at their first taste of food with calories, are gonners. I take pleasure in watching them balloon because I am cruel.

Can a mathematical formula predict which celebrity unions will last? - Yes. I'm Einstein. Here it is. 1 + 1= divorce.

Our new friends keep bailing on our dinners - Dear Lord people, really? Can nobody take a hint? Is this person writing the article to try and find out how to get their "friends" to come to dinner... give me a break people. Your friends think you suck! If I don't call you back, I don't want to. If I don't email you back, I don't want to. If I don't show up to things you invite me to, I don't want to. Why can't people just understand that not everybody likes them? I'm positive there's a bazillion people who don't like me. Here's my strategy, I pretend they don't exist and, here's some rocket science, I don't invite them to dinner.

I met the love of my life at a bar - You and 99% of atlantic canadians, 100% of newfoundlanders. So what?

Bed. Time.