things to do when you might be in labour...

Here's my - apparent - list of things to do when you think you MIGHT be in labour...

(1) Lie in bed for 2 hours convincing yourself that, even though you are having "cramps" and generally feel like things are happening, you're not in labour.

(2) Clean your floors. By hand. With multiple Clorox wipes.

(3) Clean your appliances.

(4) Don't sit down. No matter what. Don't relax. No matter what. Unless you are OK with risking "false labour". Which. I. Am. Not. I would be out for a walk right now but we're having a thunder and lightning storm and I'm not putting "get struck by lightning" on my list.

(5) Do work on laptop, while STANDING at breakfast bar.

(6) Clean bathroom.

(7) Sweep stairs.

(8) Don't wake up hubby. What's the point of you both being exhausted? Wait until absolutely necessary.

(9) Get a shower, wash your hair, shave your legs, etc. NO BATHS. Every person I spoke with recently who experienced "false labour" did one of the following - sat down, relaxed, got a bath, tried to sleep, etc. If you enjoy false hope, pain without results, etc. fill your boots. I'm not saying that I'm no experiencing false labour, I'm just saying that I'm not doing anything that would calm things down.

(10) Collect the things you didn't put in your labour bag because you needed them NOT to be in your trunk for 3 weeks.

(11) Text your sister knowing full-well she's likely sleeping with her phone next to her, waiting for your call and that, despite your "pretend attempt" to not wake her up, she'll respond immediately. She doesn't need sleep, she's a mom. :p

(12) Start timing contractions.... thankfully, there's an app for that... http://www.thebump.com/calculators/contraction.aspx

(13) Write a blog post about what you've been doing for the last 3.5 hours - still standing.

(14) Paint your nails.

(15) Check Facebook 400 times, even though there's no one else in the world awake right now except very few who are only awake because they are posting inappropriate "mobile uploads"...

(16) Sweat your brains out. Holy crap. It's only 22 degrees in my kitchen right now and you'd think I was in the desert. ARGH!

(17) Eat. I just realized I haven't eaten in the 4.5 hours since I've been awake and now have the spits because I feel like I'm going to barf.

That's it. I could keep going but, I'm praying-begging-hoping that the list will eventually turn into the "things I'm doing DURING labour" list.

It's currently 5:47am. Everyone else is still sleeping - only a MAN could go back to sleep after you tell him you're in labour and to "go back to sleep"... isn't that envious? A woman would have too much on her mind - e.g. my sister, who texted me a bazillion times with ideas to prevent false labour. Dan. Back to sleep, no problem. I called my Mom at 3:30am her time, and I know my Mom, she's totally awake right now. Thankfully, she was flying in at 7am anyways in prep for baby's arrival so that works out pretty well if this is the real-deal.

My mission is to make it so that Dan and I can still drop Jane off at daycare this AM, perhaps on our way to the hospital to get checked out. So far it's looking good. I should not have said that. I'm seriously so superstitious at this point that I'm convinced (1) I'm going to have false labour and (2) If I'm not, I'm going to sit around so long, trying to control everything that I'll have this baby on the kitchen floor. :p

Keep ya posted. PRAYING-HOPING-BEGGING your next update is something along the lines of 8lbs, 2 oz, 21 inches, 3:20pm, July 25th. F. Just cursed myself big time. CRAP. Already out there. Nothing I can do to take it back. ARGH!

not wishing my time away... mostly

I have a lot of friends who are having babies right now... and, by that, I mean now or in the next six months. It's all really the same (except when you're comparing waistlines, then weeks matter). :p

The excitement of hearing the news of a new arrival or reading updates on someones Facebook page is making me wish away my time... a little bit. It's not that I want the next three months to go by quickly. TRUST ME. This is baby number two. I KNOW how much I should appreciate this time - like, right this second - where I have time to myself, I'm not exhausted, my stomach is tight (ha ha ha, doesn't matter that the reason is a 2 lb baby with a 15 lb uterus :p It's the tightest my abs have ever been!). But, I am so excited for the waiting. The not knowing when it will happen. The chance that it might today. The over-reacting and reading too much into every little contraction. The anticipation.

For those of you who didn't follow me with pregnancy number one... I got grumpy. HA. Maybe, a little, teeny bit of an understatement. I swore I wouldn't get grumpy... I also swore I would never be one of those gross woman on TLC's Baby Story who makes labour sound like an intense orgasm but I failed that mission too (ask my neighbours who had to watch and listen to me pant and whine my way up and down the street while I yelled profanities at my husband). I was a week late, scheduled to be induced and SUPER not happy about it. Sure enough, in the way that it does sometimes, life gave me a slap on the ass and said... "oh, you want your natural labour do ya? Sure. Here it is bitch!". I went into labour the same day that I had a doctors appt where the doc basically said "your baby ain't coming out anytime soon, we're gonna have to induce you..." Well. That just wasn't going to work for me. I ate too much. I ate spicy food. I ate sweet food. I went for a "run" (RUN FOR YOUR LIVES... envision that scene from Jurassic Park where all you see is the pissed off Tyranosaurus in the rear view mirror - crap I was really hoping I could spell that right on my own - Tyranasaurus. Nope. Wait a second. There's no spelling suggestion. WTF? How is Tyrannosaurus AHHHH, there it is, two "n's". NM. I FORCED my husband to have sex with me. This sounds like insanity. Especially if you're a man - to force a man to have sex sounds like forcing a man to eat a Big Mac. But, having sex with a 41 week pregnant woman... it's really only for those with severely screwed up fetishes. And, come midnight, that same day (well, I guess it was "technically" the next day being that it was midnight but I don't subscribe to that line of thinking... if I haven't slept yet, it's still the same day) - anyways, there I was, awake. Alone. In the bath... thinking... hmm... this is different... is this labour???... no... I don't know... it doesn't hurt that bad... I'll wait and see. An hour later, I woke up Dan. An hour later, we woke up Mom. And, for those of you who haven't had your first child yet - everything they tell you about labour - like come to the hospital when your contractions are lasting one minute and four minutes apart or some crap... um. I hate to break it to you. That's BS. My contractions started that way. I actually thought "this ain't that bad... what's everyone bitching about". Um. Yeah. Like 12 hours later, life slapped my ass again and said "here it is bitch" and I all but crawled into L&D, screeching like a Kardashian who lost an earring.

But. The excitement. The anticipation (after they gave me my epidural). Was FANTASTIC! I can't wait for that feeling again. They say when you get married it sucks a little bit because you know you will never experience that excitement of falling in love again or starting a new relationship - actually, they, is me. But, most people get that. It's not a bad thing but it's a little crappy... unless, you're like me, and planning your next wedding with an 80's theme. It will be awesome. Groom to be determined... tee hee hee. Just kidding. No one but my hubby could put up with me. Seriously. Ok, back on track. They lie. The excitement of child birth is in the falling in love again - but so much more, times a bazillion bazillion bazillionth and more.

As much as I'm looking forward to that excitement, I'm also looking forward to the lead-up... I'm pretty much taking a month off work before I'm due. I've saved all my vacay time to use in July and, so, I'm stopping work the end of June and not due until the 26th. Woot woot. Now, this is where life will slap me in the ass and bring the baby on like 3 weeks early - which would be great, yes - but would also take away the valuable couch time I planned on coveting before baby number two's arrival.

Life is what's happening while you're planning it...

I've had a lot of friends get put off work early lately too - on the days when my back hurts, I'm exhausted and I'm sick of squeezing into uncomfortable work clothes, this seems like a blessing. Then, I realize, I'd go insane. So, please let this not be the case for me... everything seems to be going well so far, so fingers crossed. Normally, with your second pregnancy, you might have some indication of whether this might happen to you - based on your first pregnancy experience. But, I was put off work at 25 weeks with my first pregnancy because I was laid off... so it wasn't really an issue. I had no other kids. I had no car. I was basically on bed-rest! :p

I'm excited to see my ob/gyn on Thursday - partly hoping she'll put my mind at ease about this stupid rash - mostly because that step, the next step of being bumped to the ob/gyn stage - means I'm getting there! Oh, and FYI, if you want to feel good about yourself and SKINNY MINNY, pop by the PNC (prenatal care) department when you're only 26 weeks preggers. ha ha ha. It was like being a supermodel in a room full of normal people... don't bother telling me. I know I will regret that statement in 10 weeks, when I'm one of the giant woman who was waddling through the hallways. But, right now, I'm gonna enjoy it! :p The ONLY place a pregnant woman can feel small is in a room full of woman MORE pregnant than she is. It was fantastic.

Ok, I'm off to get my unnecessary pre-bedtime snack. Nighty night girlies!

Out, Out Little Babe - Active Labour, Part 2

And so the story continues...

Once I was fully dilated, the nurse said I should feel the urge to push. I never did. I basically "faked" the urge to push - instead I continually felt my tummy for signs of a contraction and once I felt it, told the nurses I was ready to push. I don't know why I never felt the "urge" - perhaps it was the epidural... maybe one of the downsides to the epi vs. natural.

For each contraction, I pushed 3 times for 10 seconds each, holding my breath. My hubby said the first few contractions I really wasn't getting anywhere (of course he told me this after the fact) but then once I got the hang of it, they could see her moving down. What surprised me most was that the first 15 mins of pushing, only myself, hubby, Mom and the nurse were present - I had expected the entire delivery team to be there. Once I was getting close, however, the nurse paged the docs and the room was full before I had time to have another contraction!

I didn't experience any pain during delivery and only pushed for 30 mins before baby was out. I did, on the other hand, have a few tears and an episiotomy which, thankfully, I didn't feel at all. Once baby was out, she cried immediately and I could see her colour was great, a nice pink! The NICU team took her quickly but she was in my arms within 2-3 mins. Her APGAR scores were 8 (at 1 min) and 9 (at 5 mins), so she is a healthy babe.

I was basically a ball of emotion - crying like a maniac and over-the-moon relieved she was healthy and happy. Apparently I was given a shot of oxytocin right away (don't remember any of that due to being completely high on baby love) and my placenta was delivered within minutes. Once baby was out, the docs turned to getting things cleaned and sewn up. I was in la-la-land, making jokes and kissing all over my little babe.

After the docs finished up, we started breastfeeding right away and Janey's latch was great (relief!). She was rooting as soon as she was on my chest - so cute. Daddy took Jane as I got cleaned up in the bath. Despite an early delivery at 8:06pm, we didn't get up to the recovery room until 11ish. Long day!

I am so thankful I had my hubby and Mom with me. They were exactly what I needed - my hubby was my support and motivation and my Mom was my peace of mind.

Jen :)

Out, Out Little Babe - Active Labour, Part 1

My last post on early labour ended with being admitted to the hospital at 3cm dilated... I was taken to a birthing suite and immediately hooked up to an IV for electrolytes. I'm not afraid of needles by any means and don't mind the little pinch that often accompanies, but the IV sucked! For me it was the most uncomfortable and annoying part (post-epidural of course).

The anesthesiologist arrived next (HALLELUJAH) with my epidural. I told him I loved him at least twice during the 15 minutes it took to get me set up. The worst part of the epi was the uncomfortable position you have to get into during insertion... You have to hunch over, rounding your back and stay completely still - very uncomfortable when you still have a giant belly! I didn't feel any pain or discomfort with the actual epi going in... just a mild pinch from the freezing needle before they started the "installation" :p The epi took about 10-15 mins to fully kick in, although my contractions gradually got less and less painful within 5 mins or so. After 15 mins, I could still feel a little pain in my right side during a contraction so my nurse had me switch and lay on my right side to balance the epi out. That worked - apparently it can pool on one side.

At 4:30 the resident (we have a teaching hospital) arrived to check my cervix - 6cm dilated. They also broke my water with what looked like a crochet needle. I didn't feel anything except the warmth of the fluid. Right away they noticed meconium in my fluid. I knew that this was fairly common for overdue babes so it only worried me a little - I was hoping this was the only "hiccup" we'd have. What it changed for my delivery was that (1) they would avoid stimulating baby immediately to avoid her respiring fluid, (2) she wouldn't be placed on my chest immediately post-delivery because (3) the NICU team would be present and would take her to the other side of the room to clear her airway and assess her.

Then came the next "hiccup"... baby's heart rate dropped dramatically. I was switched to lying on my side, put on oxygen and the nurse checked my cervix. Apparently I had dilated fully and the baby had "dropped" very quickly - the nurse could show my hubby and Mom the top of her head! Thankfully, within a minute or two her rate was back up and she was doing ok. This "lit a fire under my ass", you could say, that motivated me to push my ass off once I was ready to go. The docs actually said they'd never seen someone so eager to push... I just wanted her out and safe!

Sorry for the suspense but this post is insanely long and there's a baby sucking on my chest looking for a boob - I'll finish my labour story tomorrow! :)

Jen

Early Labour - My Experience!

Thought I'd start my first of many post-baby posts with some details about my early labour experience. Labour was completely different from what I had expected. As much as I had "prepared", I quickly learned that there is no way to prepare for labour and delivery

As you read last Thursday, I was so disappointed about having to be induced. I was 100% convinced I had no other choice as I felt no "signs of labour" and didn't anticipate a change before my scheduled induction. Mistake! :) In my Natural Labour Inducers post, I said sex was one of few inducers I thought might work. My girlfriend asked her neighbor (an ob-gyn) what could induce labour and she said sex as well. So, Dan sucked it up (again :p)as he knew how much I wanted to avoid induction. Two hours later, my contractions started. I woke up at midnight not feeling well. My lower back was really aching, I was hot and a little nauseous. I got in the bath, trying to feel better, and noticed menstrual-like cramps that radiated from my lower back. I quickly realized they were accompanied by my contractions and were running about 4 mins apart. After 30 mins, I woke up my hubby and my Mom. I was so scared to get my hopes up that I was in labour that I convinced myself I wasn't for 30 mins!

My contractions started at 4 mins apart, lasting 1 minute, for over an hour - we were told this meant "time to go to the hospital". We waited about 3 hours before leaving however, as I could tell that despite the 4-1-1 contractions, things weren't progressing urgently. Instead we went for a walk and tried to get some rest - impossible btw! :)

Our first and second trips to the hospital both ended with me getting sent home. I was 1cm dilated each time and wasn't in "active" labour... unless I dilated, they would just let me go on having contractions (even for a couple days)! However, by 2pm, my contractions had dramatically increased in intensity to the point that I couldn't talk, walk, move, etc. through a contraction... all I could do was moan and breathe! While sitting, my contractions were 3-4 mins apart but when I walked/stood up, they were 1-2 mins apart. By the time we got to the hospital, I was crying from exhaustion and fear that they would send me home again. Thankfully, I was admitted at 3:30pm at 3cm dilated.

I'm going to stop this post here. I'm going to break my labour story up into a few posts so it's not 40 pages long! Stayed tuned... despite my perfect outcome (she's so cute!), things did not go "perfectly". :)

What every mom-to-be should know about early labour is that you forget about the pain, fear, etc. the minute you see your babe for the first time. Apparently this is the key to survival of our species, ha ha ha. Secondly, listen to your body. You will absolutely know when it's time to head to the hospital, trust me. Lastly, even if you have low tolerance for pain (I'm pretty wimpy), by some miracle, you can handle it. You just do.

Elated to be sitting here with my little girl in my arms,

Jen :)