and the winner is...

Sorry for the delay... Jane has been testing my every last bit of patience today and, right before bed, decided she was "STARVING" and wanted a bagel. Well, usually, I would not fall for this but we had 15 minutes so I thought I'd give in this time. She ate the bagel. It just took her FOR FREAKIN' EVER. I know, I'm a sucker. Anyways, she's finally asleep - knock on wood, curse me, now I'm screwed because it doesn't matter if I delete that comment, it's already out there. Crap. So, I went to www.random.org which is the random number generator I've always used for giveaways - in case you're crazy and are going to start legal action against me about this giveaway... I mean. It is... just. that. great. :p

Before I announce the winner of the SURFACE INSPIRED BEST GIVEAWAY EVER - I want everyone to KNOW THIS:

SURFACE INSPIRED is so fantastically fantastical that they are offering all MOmMy bRaIN readers 20% off their orders - WOOT WOOT! Just enter coupon code: mommybrain at checkout. So, for you LOSERS you are still WINNERS! Seriously. Did I not sell this product enough in my post? If, for example, you are one of the people who tweeted daily because you wanted this so badly, you might want to just do yourself a favour and treat yourself - you're pregnant, OR, you're a Mom. You deserve it!


Here it is.

The big winner.

MOMMY AKA MOM!!!

Congratulations!!

This Momma has THREE kids. Um. Anyone who has more than TWO kids is my hero at this point and I don't even know how hard it is to have two yet...

Here's what she said about what decal she'd like to win...

Contact me at jen [at] mommybraindesigns.ca as soon as you find out you won and I'll put you into contact with the FABULOUS Thomas at Surface Inspired.

Thanks again to everyone for participating.

I'm by no means a giveaway blog - it ain't my thang as you know. But, I will continue to share products I love with y'all whether I can give them to you for free or not. That way, you'll always know that you can trust that it is truly something I support vs. something I've been paid to promote...

Have a great night. Congrats again and thanks again.

working woman

Am off making the dough tonight... :p ha! Thankfully, I don't have to work many evenings but, sometimes, it's a little treat to have a night out.

Regardless, since I don't have time to write, because obviously, I'm not at home... I thought I'd share a post from another, much better, much more famous, much more fantastic, mommy blogger who cracks me up... Glennon at "Momastery".

This was the first post I ever read of hers and DIED. Not only because I have been there (less two kids) but also because I think I would have kissed this good Samaritan all over the place inappropriately.

Enjoy:
Officer Superhero

pityriasis rosea

If you're not medically inclined at all, you're probably thinking that I let Jane have at it with the keyboard...

Nope. Not the case. I've got a diagnosis on my ridiculous bikini line rash that has now spread up the sides of my belly... pityriasis rosea. Originally it had only given me itchy-crotch syndrome (not really my crotch but when you're itching your bikini line and inner thighs, it pretty much looks like your enjoying yourself inappropriately). The last few days though, it's spread up my sides and become quite itchy (see crappy picture I took with my cell phone right now to the left - obviously of my belly as I'm pretty sure I share enough of myself on the WWW, probably don't need pictures of my voo out there too). Out of concern, I dropped into the walk-in clinic today and saw a female physician who pretty much knew right away what it was. And, when I google images of it, looks like she's "spot" on... no pun intended.

Here's the good news. The doc told me there was basically no treatment and that it was "nothing to worry about".

Here's the bad news. I googled it and I'm not sure I have nothing to worry about. Apparently, it more commonly shows up during pregnancy, although the cause is unknown. A really small study was done (Oh, I love studies) and, if you get the rash in the first trimester, you're apparently at high risk for MC. Thankfully, I didn't get it then. I don't remember exactly when I did, however, but I think it was around week 18-20. Which, apparently, means (because it showed up between 15-20 weeks) that I could be at risk for decreased movement and premature delivery. Of course, like I said, this is all based on a study of like less than 40 woman. But, is it enough to have me a little freaked... a little. With all that said, I said to Dan the other night on our date night that I was a little worried because I hadn't been feeling as much movement as I had previously. Now, I fully admitted that I wasn't sure if it was because there was decreased movement OR if it was because I was paying less attention to it. Well, relief for now, because since I fessed up my fear out loud, I've been paying plenty attention and this baby moves like jagger.

Regardless, I'm looking forward to the hopeful peace of mind my ob/gyn can bring in two weeks... hopeful. :)

The stresses of pregnancy. I mean, normal day-to-day, you get a rash... if you've got kids, you likely ignore it because you don't have the time to take care of yourself, and you assume it will go away. Rash during pregnancy... you google the F outta it, find a bunch of scary crap and go see the doc as many times as reasonably possible before they send you to the mental hotel.

SO, why am I telling you this and why do you care?

(1) I'm telling you because maybe someone else out there has what I have and knows a better treatment for it then what the doctor suggested... which was nothing. Also, who else am I gonna share my yucky, weird and wacky, pregnancy-related skin issues with? Talking to my husband about pregnancy symptoms is as emotionally effective as talking to a tree stump - MEN JUST DON'T GET IT. PERIOD. They can fake it. But they don't get it. Dan doesn't get why I'm so tired all the time... um. I'M BUILDING AN ENTIRE PERSON INSIDE MY EFFIN BODY!!! YOU TRY IT!! We saw Jerry Seinfeld perform on date night this past weekend - his insights on parenthood and fatherhood were priceless. He basically said that women, despite having all parenthood duties fall on their laps, at least are blessed with instincts. Apparently, men don't have instincts. Poor guys. Yeah. Well. BOO HOO. If you don't have instincts then you should listen to me when I speak and do as I say! :p Yes, this is what I would call a random, hormone-induced, pregnancy rant. It's over now. You're welcome for that glimpse into your future if you've never been pregnant or PMS-ing before.
(2) You probably don't care. HA. But it's my blog and I'll whine if I want to.

Anyways, I'm going to go now after likely wasting the last 4 minutes of your time... mostly because it's a pain in the you-know-what to use the computer right now because I can't put the laptop on my lap because the added heat makes my pity rash itch like crazy. Not really the best condition for one who blogs and spends her other spare time designing invitations on the computer... WIN.

nursery and jane's bedroom decorating complete!

In case you aren't sick of me and my projects yet... I have more!

Here's the thing - we're getting such a great response to our BEST GIVEAWAY EVER - seriously? Click here if you have no idea what I'm talking about which means you are basically a crazy person. OK, so because we're getting such a great response from everybody to the Surface Inspired Wall Decal Giveaway, I'm thinking that I'm obviously not the only one out there who's (1) decorating a nursery or (2) looking for ways to pretty up a room for CHEAP-O.

So, this week, I had two "empty corner" projects I wanted to finish up... Dear Lord, there's nothing worse than an empty corner!! :p

(1) The empty wall corner in the nursery behind the rocking chair
(2) Jane's empty corner behind her swinging chair

Priority went to Jane's room, well, because... um. She's here. So for some reason because Jane is actually out in the world vs. the baby in my belly who has another 15 (likely 17 should I be so lucky...) weeks until he/she joins us, she should therefore get first dibs on filling her empty corner. I know this is something she cries about every night. It may, in fact, be the reason for her few nights of crappy sleep this week. If she's anything like her Mommy that empty corner was too much to bear. :p BTW, nevermind. I'm not saying a thing. What I will say is that I'm not tired right now... hint, hint. I'm not even trusting "knock on wood" with what I was about to say so you get my drift, right? (If, again, you have no idea what I'm talking about, refer to: I'm a Sucker post from Monday).

So, Jane loves horses. I love horses. I will say that I have ridden horses for the last 20 years. I phrase it that way because it is my love. I miss it everyday more than anyone could ever imagine. Fact is, riding is tres expensive and, along with skydiving and roller coasters, apparently doesn't mesh with pregnancy. And it's been four years since I've truly been immersed in horses. My fantastical husband, surprised me this year on our anniversary with an hour long private ride at a local stable that was probably the best gift he's ever given me. Enter: My amazing, beautiful daughter. Who, currently (who knows if it will last) is head over heels for horses and it makes my heart happy. I know that's corny but you know what I mean - when you see a personality trait or mannerism or feature or anything of yourself in your children, it makes you glow. So, Jane and I are at the local horse farm at least 2-3 times a week... just visiting. :) She's fallen in love with a white draft horse, Amos, who she says is "my horsey" and "I'm going to ride him all day in the summer when the leaves come on the trees". When she sees him she gets the shakes - pure excitement - and talks about him randomly, in conversation, all the time... like three year old's do. You know, like she wakes up in the morning four days after seeing Amos and the first thing she says to me is "Amos smiled at me mommy, he's so CRAZY".

So, that was a long story to basically say that - I wanted to fill her corner with Amos. And this is something everyone can do. Find something your babe loves - your dog, your cat, you (ha), playgrounds, dolls, anything. Take pictures of a bunch of them and put them on a wall. Voila. It's cheap - if you visit Michaels in the right week when frames are 40% off (which is pretty near always) - and it's thoughtful and, if your child is anything like mine, seeing her face LIGHT UP when she walked into her room was worth the 15 minutes of photo-taking in the freezing cold and hour it took for me to buy the frames and put the photos in there.

Here's my finished product:

Total cost: $75 - for frames and photo processing. Response: Priceless. She talked about Amos the whole way home and how she wanted to go see Amos in her room before dinner - she didn't even take her jacket off. Straight from the garage to Amos. Worth. Every. Dollar. And. Minute. Plus, here's the bonus. If, next year (please Lord no), she loves bicycles (?) then it's a $15 switch of photos and I'm back in the BEST-MOMMY-IN-THE-WORLD book for another 15 seconds. :p

Ok, so onto project numero deuce... Filling the blank corner (shown left and eating away at my soul) in the nursery.

I had an idea with Jane's nursery about using pages from one of my favourite children's books as artwork. Unfortunately, it didn't work out in Jane's first room as the book I wanted to use, Robert Munch's "I Love You Forever" didn't have the right colour scheme and y'all know I'm a Monica when it comes to coordination.

However, with my beautiful, neutral, blue nursery, I had lots of potential! I dropped by the local Chapters store to check out some of the books they had in stock that would make for good artwork - some of the pictures in children's books are fantastic! Anyways, I had no idea what book I was going to use but, obviously, I'd like something with sentimental value. Unfortunately, "I Love You Forever" lost again because the writing and the photos were on separate pages and I really wanted to have some nice quotes along with a nice picture, cause I'm anal crazy like that. Enter: "Guess How Much I Love You". I bought the hardcover book as the pages were sized about 9" by 11" and I wanted to do larger frames. What I did NOT do was buy the book at the store... Never buy a book at the store, unless you enjoy paying significantly more (Chapters online price $14.44, store price $19.99). That's five bucks baby - that's like two king sized chocolate bars! :p

I picked up three large, matted, frames from Michaels - again, 40% off, so they were only $10.19 each - SCORE - significantly cheaper than Walmart FYI which is surprising. And Voila. A wall filled beautifully, creatively and meaningfully for under $50. I finished the other wall off with a frame I already had, in dark wood to complement the dark wood of the rocker, that will house the new baby's newborn photos once he/she arrives and we get said photos taken. :p

Here's THAT finished product:

Oh. I also picked up a side table from Homesense for $40. AND, apparently bird houses are really popular right now (no idea what you're truly supposed to do with them) but I thought the sweet yellow one pictured above would make a great book holder while filling the DREADED open space under my side table and it was only $12.99!

So, there. My grand tally on the nursery was $450 - including paint, window treatments, a rocking chair, bedding, storage, a side table and fantastic artwork/decals on all four walls. Which may seem like a lot, but when you consider that a bedding set alone from Sears can cost $200 or more, it's pretty fan-freakin'-tastic. Obviously, I already owned the most expensive pieces - the crib and the changetable. But, you can easily find a nice crib and changetable on kijiji for a great price if you're a first-timer. And don't let colour ever hold you back. Spray paint is the best thing ever created. Addictive good.

All done. I have no more decorating to do. Whatever shall I do with my time and money! :p

whats-in-the-news wednesday on THURSDAY

At this point, I don't know why I even bother specifying that I'm aware that I'm doing whats-in-the-news WEDNESDAY on a THURSDAY because I'm pretty sure no one would be surprised that I didn't truly know what day of the week it was. Basically, I go to work everyday until the girls at daycare tell me to "have a nice weekend" when I pick up Jane. :p

Here she goes...

Who co-sleeps? Who eats placenta? Test your knowledge of celebrity parents - Um. Yeah. A little bit of a jump, non? Who co-sleeps, who eats PLACENTA? No judgement but WTF? Are you kidding me. I don't want to know. Refusing to open this article and TEST my knowledge of celebrity parents. First of all, what parent has the time to test their knowledge of celebrity parents? Probably the same parents who have time to blog about parenting... insanity. :p

Teen burnout can be hard to spot - Because it doesn't exist? How the heck are TEENS burnt out? They don't live in the real world. This is all the fault of whatever the generation before ours is called that babied and protected (i.e. this there are no winners crap) their children so much that they have no idea how to deal with "bad" things when they happen. OR, the same generation that are into this competitive kids crap where they have their kids enrolled in so many sports and activities that the kids don't have any kid-time. When I was a teenager my activities consisted of: waking up, going to school, making out with my boyfriend, going home, doing homework, sleeping. The worst consequence was raw lips or that painful indent you got on your middle finger because you had to WRITE out your homework.

Infant wigs - I don't know if this article is a joke, but as always, I do not actually read the articles I'm talking about because (1) I don't have the time and (2) I just don't care. :p Infant wigs... ha ha ha. That is awesome. I'm getting Jane  an 80's perm wig for sure. Um. No. It already a battle enough getting Jane to pick out her CLOTHES in the morning, I'm not throwing picking out her hair into the mix. If this product exists, the only point I can see is for baby girls who don't get long flowy locks right away and, thus, are confused for boys. Here's a suggestion that isn't ridiculous - DRESS THEM IN PINK. I'm a genius, I know, no need to point it out.

Babies born before 39 weeks have lower IQs, study finds - how do they determine the IQ of a 39 week old? :p

Is it safe for breast-feeding mothers to drink alcohol? - Here's a study I want to see the results of - Post partum depression rates in new breastfeeding mothers who allowed themselves a glass of wine when necessary. Sometimes the benefits outweigh the risks. Here's a tip for the first-time-moms-to-be: Wine is often necessary for survival of sanity and marriage. This is also why God created breast pumps.

Daddy's baby blues: guilt, fatigue, angst - If Dan ever complained about have "baby blues", I'd give him baby black-and-blues. Cry me a river dude... I'll play the violins for ya.

Surrogate Mother Of 11: 'I'm Retiring My Uterus - You've birthed 11 children. Screw your uterus, send what's left of your vagina on a 30 year spa retreat.

Later gators.

the ugly side of pregnancy

Warning. I'm tired. I'm cranky. I'm hot. And, as always, eating chocolate. So, nothing unusual.

Those not pregnant or of the species with a penis should run for their lives now.

I no longer wear a bra when I'm inside the house... what's the point. I used to think wearing a bra would prevent my boobs from sagging. I actually think I wore a bra to bed when I was pregnant the first time in hopes of preventing the inevitable. This is, unfortunately, a wive's tale your parents tell you when you're 14 and they think a bra is like a chastity belt. Boobs sag. Period. Whether you breast feed or not, they will end up tickling your belly button at some point in your life. Currently, I am wearing a sweatshirt and because I'm pregnant and have ridiculous hormones that make me hot as hades, I have the sweatshirt tucked into the underside of my saggy-ass boobs because it's getting hot under there and it's making me itchy.

I haven't shaved my legs in... I have no idea how long. Literally. When you're disgusted by your own leg hair, it's bad... most women think "it's not that bad" so when you look down and go "holy crap, that's nasty" it's BAD. I actually got a bath last night JUST to shave my legs and forgot to grab my razor, which was not within arms reach, so I gave up because standing up from the lying down position when pregnant is like running a 5K and is not worth it to shave your legs. PS - currently wearing short-shorts regardless of said leg hair. I only manage to shave my armpits because it's springtime and short-sleeved shirts don't hide armpit hair like you might think... just a warning. Don't reach for what's on the top shelf... or stretch. It ain't pretty for anyone nearby. Oh, and we might as well discuss the voo again. I had to show my voo to my mom the other day (she was a nurse so it's not weird) but on a brighter note, my hip/bikini line rash is still going strong, so I wanted my mom's assessment. I was actually embarrassed to show my mother my voo due to it's current condition. She told me I should start going to the spa for waxing since I can't take care of it myself. It's like on my last birthday when I asked her what wrinkle creams were THE BEST and, instead of telling me I didn't need them, she told me what I should buy. When your Mom isn't holding back the truth, it's (all together now) BAD.

One word. Saddlebags. Personally, I call them my "second a**". Not every pregnant women will get these - only the ones who eat when they're hungry or tired... so like 99.99999% of the time. The other 0.00001% of the time I'm peeing or sleeping.

Your welcome.

i'm a sucker

Ambitiously, I woke up yesterday thinking - I'm going to start eating healthier this week. Post-easter guilt. FAIL. Too much chocolate in the house, combined with exhaustion = PREGNANT WOMAN HELL.

Here's why I'm exhausted and why I'm a sucker... any advice, as always, is appreciated. Keeping in mind that I'm exhausted and a SUCKER!

Jane's been waking up again throughout the night. I remember during my first pregnancy sleeping horribly and thinking "well, this is my body's way of preparing me for a new baby". Well, maybe, this is Jane's way of preparing me for a new baby??? ARGH! OR, for making me age 10 years in four nights.

I have NO IDEA how it started, usually I can trace it back to something I did (seriously, it's pretty near always my fault because, being the mom, I'm pretty sure I have the most influence) but I have no idea how this started... she's waking up several times throughout the night to get me to "tuck her in". She must toss and turn throughout the night and then, of course, the blanket gets kicked off, she gets uncovered and needs to be tucked in. I'm 99% sure she's not getting cold, being that she sleeps in fleece jammies and her room temp is set at 20+ degrees (Celsius for my US gals).

So, here's the first thing I did - get her new jammies. Because along with the tuck-in issues, she's been complaining that her old jammies are "bothering me". So, new jammies. Check one. Except, I didn't put them on her last night because they are cotton and I was thinking that the fleece ones might keep her asleep because, if she did lose the blanket, she'd still be warm. FAIL. She was up like 100 times last night. Between 1:11am and 2:47am, she was up pretty much every 10 minutes I swear... and not doing what she usually does when she wakes up - talking, singing, laughing - she was SCREECHING. At first, I was nice, calm, soothing mommy. But, by 2:21am, I was GRUMPY, DON'T F WITH ME MOMMY. And I left her to cry. Calling out to me. Begging me to tuck her in. Heartbreaking. I left her for like 15 minutes. If it had calmed down, I would have been satisfied with my efforts. But it escalated. Jane rarely escalates. I HATE that she was calling out for me. SERIOUS GUILT. Anyways, I failed miserably at that tactic and ended up, 15 mins in, going in - very, seriously grumpily - to tell her no more crying and that this was the last time mommy was coming in and I wasn't tucking her in anymore because she was a big girl and big girls didn't cry unless they were sick or scared!!!! ARGH!! GRRRR!!! I was grumpy... So, it might have been a very stern conversation. To which she responds in her quietest, sweetest, voice....

"I just need some help sometimes... My hands are too little."

If my heart could have been stabbed repeatedly with a blunt object it would have hurt less than the guilt I felt at that moment. Am I a sucker? I have no idea. But she got me. BIG TIME. My hands are too little. I just need help "sometimes". She says "sometimes" at the end of a lot of her sentences... and it just made it that much sweeter. ARGH. I felt like the WORST MOTHER EVER. My hands are too little. OUCH. Sorry. I wish I could have taped it for you - you would be dying like me right now.

So, we changed her into her new jammies and, guess what, no more wake ups. EFFER. I suck and I'm a sucker.

Seriously, if this kid is taking me for a sucker, then she's the smartest two year old on the planet because she knew exactly what to say to turn grumpy, pretty-well-yelling, 2am mommy into a lamb.

I'm going to start her off tonight in the new jammies and combine that with prayer for a good night's sleep. I can't handle the guilt or the exhaustion.

Someone remind me again how I'm supposed to do this with TWO in four months?? At least the newbie can't tell me that she "just wants to be snuggled and held because I'm just a baby and I need my mommy" when I'm trying to put her in her crib for a nap... that would suck. Maybe that's why it takes babies a year or so to talk - gives the Moms a break period where we don't have to suffer through the guilt of what they are really thinking!

Have you entered the BEST GIVEAWAY EVER YET - if not, ur nuts. Don't have a need for the cutest wall decals ever?? Turn it into the best baby shower gift in history and enter anyways!