whats-in-the-news wednesday on THURSDAY

At this point, I don't know why I even bother specifying that I'm aware that I'm doing whats-in-the-news WEDNESDAY on a THURSDAY because I'm pretty sure no one would be surprised that I didn't truly know what day of the week it was. Basically, I go to work everyday until the girls at daycare tell me to "have a nice weekend" when I pick up Jane. :p

Here she goes...

Who co-sleeps? Who eats placenta? Test your knowledge of celebrity parents - Um. Yeah. A little bit of a jump, non? Who co-sleeps, who eats PLACENTA? No judgement but WTF? Are you kidding me. I don't want to know. Refusing to open this article and TEST my knowledge of celebrity parents. First of all, what parent has the time to test their knowledge of celebrity parents? Probably the same parents who have time to blog about parenting... insanity. :p

Teen burnout can be hard to spot - Because it doesn't exist? How the heck are TEENS burnt out? They don't live in the real world. This is all the fault of whatever the generation before ours is called that babied and protected (i.e. this there are no winners crap) their children so much that they have no idea how to deal with "bad" things when they happen. OR, the same generation that are into this competitive kids crap where they have their kids enrolled in so many sports and activities that the kids don't have any kid-time. When I was a teenager my activities consisted of: waking up, going to school, making out with my boyfriend, going home, doing homework, sleeping. The worst consequence was raw lips or that painful indent you got on your middle finger because you had to WRITE out your homework.

Infant wigs - I don't know if this article is a joke, but as always, I do not actually read the articles I'm talking about because (1) I don't have the time and (2) I just don't care. :p Infant wigs... ha ha ha. That is awesome. I'm getting Jane  an 80's perm wig for sure. Um. No. It already a battle enough getting Jane to pick out her CLOTHES in the morning, I'm not throwing picking out her hair into the mix. If this product exists, the only point I can see is for baby girls who don't get long flowy locks right away and, thus, are confused for boys. Here's a suggestion that isn't ridiculous - DRESS THEM IN PINK. I'm a genius, I know, no need to point it out.

Babies born before 39 weeks have lower IQs, study finds - how do they determine the IQ of a 39 week old? :p

Is it safe for breast-feeding mothers to drink alcohol? - Here's a study I want to see the results of - Post partum depression rates in new breastfeeding mothers who allowed themselves a glass of wine when necessary. Sometimes the benefits outweigh the risks. Here's a tip for the first-time-moms-to-be: Wine is often necessary for survival of sanity and marriage. This is also why God created breast pumps.

Daddy's baby blues: guilt, fatigue, angst - If Dan ever complained about have "baby blues", I'd give him baby black-and-blues. Cry me a river dude... I'll play the violins for ya.

Surrogate Mother Of 11: 'I'm Retiring My Uterus - You've birthed 11 children. Screw your uterus, send what's left of your vagina on a 30 year spa retreat.

Later gators.