Jun 27, 2012

slap that girl

I took an updated pregnancy belly pic today and, in my effort to compare one to the other, I was going back through my Jane belly bump pics and saw this thumbnail (photo left) from my 16 weeks photo, pregnancy number 1... and, from the thumbnail, I was thinking "Man, I look skinny in that pic".

Sadly, I remember taking that photo. I remember thinking "I'm starting to pop!" I definitely was feeling "fat" and I definitely was insecure about how I was looking (despite the fact that I took a picture of myself in a sportsbra - which I NEVER would have done had I not been pregnant). SLAP THAT GIRL. First of all, I would pay a million bucks to look like this again. AND, if I ever looked like this again, I might just live in my sports bra. :p

OMG! I just went through the pics from THIS PREGNANCY, and found my earliest "bump" pic - taken at 19 weeks. Check this out...

I'm officially saying it right now - I'M NUTS! I KNOW 100% when I took this pic that I thought I was really looking pregnant now!! WTF! It's amazing how relativity changes things. I remember I kept wondering how people didn't realize (because it was SO obvious) that I was pregnant. What the heck was I thinking?

Dear Lord, please, please don't let me look back on the photo I just took of myself, at 36 weeks, in four weeks and have me think I looked tiny... it's got to be impossible! :p

I'm having a ah-ha moment here people.

I am literally nuts. My perception of my body is ridiculously distorted. This may not be news to some of you but, to me, this is, like, life changing... right now. Ask me again in like 3 months when I am "tiny" again and hating myself because I feel fat. Stupid me.

Have my docs appointment tomorrow morning and can't wait! I look forward to every docs appointment now as it means another week has passed and that things are moving forward!

In a dream world, I only have 5 more docs appointments left until this baby is here!

I'm hoping, in my appointment tomorrow, that my doc will agree that, because of all this nonsense with my rashes, platelets, etc. that another ultrasound makes sense. A few people (including some docs from work) have mentioned to me that they would want to make sure the baby's OK in there and, now that they mention it, I can't stop thinking about it... of course. I'm having TONS of movement and the baby's heart rate has been great so far but still... I think it would definitely give me peace of mind to make sure the little tike is OK in there.

Plus, I have to admit, the idea of getting another shot at finding out the sex is way too tempting... although Dan says he wants to still have it be a surprise since we've made it this far. So, I just won't tell him! :p ha ha ha. Not likely.

Will keep you posted on the progress tomorrow and what the doc has to say about the chances of inducing me early, still, due to my platelets and also the ultrasound.

Two days of work left - and tomorrow is basically a half-day as between my docs appointment and blood work afterwards, it takes like 4 hours (understandably, these docs are never on time - they're dealing with emotional, stressed out, grumpy, demanding pregnant woman all day...).

1 comment:

Mama Nic said...

Good luck at your appointment. I see the hematologist again next week ( I will be 38 wks) and am so anxious to find out my current platelet number and if induction will be scheduled. I will be following your story and thinking some good platlet vibes for you too!