mommy brain moment of the week, month, year?

Was chatting with a good friend earlier in the week and, because everyone knows all the stupid things I've done over the years (I used to keep track and share them but now I can't even remember...), she felt the need to share her most recent mommy brain moment with me. Dare I say this may be one of the better ones I've heard since starting MOmMy bRaIn and since experiencing it myself. Enjoy!

Back story: What you need to know is that my friend, Alyson,  is third-trimester-pregnant and has a two-year-old, therefore, there could be no bigger excuse for mommy brain (unless, she was pregnant with two-two-year-olds :p). AND, her hubby, Steve, is a cop... so that makes this story that much more believable. Brenda is their daycare owner. Claire is their sweet two-yr-old daughter.

BBM CONVO BTW STEVE AND ALYSON

Steve: Going to daycare to get Claire

Alyson: Cool, see you soon then! Give her a little kiss from me!

Steve: Riiiiiight

(I'm thinking "typical Steve", no need for emotion when she'll be home to kiss in person in no time! Dads just don't get it.)

Steve: I'm at daycare and Brenda isn't coming to open the door.

(Moderate "alarm")

Alyson: Ok, are you knocking loud enough?

Steve: She's not answering the door.

(Slightly elevated "alarm")

Alyson: Well, how long have you been there? Did you call her?

Steve: 45 minutes

(Legit alarm bells now going off)

Alyson: What??? CALL HER! What is going on?

Steve: I hear screaming inside

(Full panic has now been induced)

Alyson: WTF is going on? CALL HER STEVE!! My heart is literally not beating anymore!!

(No response from Steve for a minute so I furiously dial Brenda's cell number, then as its ringing I see...)

Steve: I'm kicking in the door

TRANSITION TO PHONE CONVO BETWEEN BRENDA AND ALYSON

Brenda: Hello?

Alyson: Brenda? It's Alyson...

(I'm confused, why does she sound so normal?)

Brenda: Hi Alyson!

Alyson: Umm, Steve's at the daycare door trying to get in and its locked...

(Dead. Silence.)

Brenda: Alyson...daycare is closed today.

(Holy fuck. What is going on? Is she being held hostage or something? Why is she acting all normal and like I'm crazy or something?)

Alyson: Well, where's Claire?

(More silence.)

Brenda: Ummmm...

(WHAT IS SHE NOT TELLING ME? Wait...it hits me… Claire's in bed for a nap... right down the hall. How the fuck did I forget that Claire's in bed for a nap? WTF is wrong with me?)

Alyson: OMG! Brenda...she's in bed here for a nap... I'm sorry, she's been at daycare all week so I'm used to being here alone in the afternoon. She's napping, so when Steve said he was going there I forgot that she was already here!! OMG, I'm soooo sorry, he obviously forgot too about daycare being closed today when he went to work.

Brenda (laughing): Haha, you really scared me there for a second, I didn't know where the heck Claire was today!! Its totally ok, you guys aren't the first parents to try to come pick up a child that isn't there, hahaha!

Alyson: Well, sorry to bother you! Wow, I feel like an idiot, haha!

(It hits me again, SHIT Steve said he was kicking down the door, FUCK!)

TRANSITION BACK TO BBM CONVO BTW STEVE AND ALYSON

I see the messages I missed while I was on the phone with Brenda...

Steve: I'm in, I got the door down

Steve: There's nobody here 

(SHIT!!!)

TRANSITION TO PHONE CONVO BTW STEVE AND ALYSON

Steve: Hello?

Alyson: STEVE! DAYCARE IS CLOSED TODAY!! CLAIRE'S AT HOME!! DID YOU REALLY KICK THE DOOR DOWN??

(Dead. Silence.)

Steve: Alyson...I hope you're not being serious right now? Of course Claire is at home, I know daycare is closed today...

Alyson: What? What are you talking about? You said you were at daycare!

Steve: I was kidding...aren't you kidding too? When I told you I was going to daycare you obviously would have known there was no need, she's at home today! So I thought you were being "witty" and joking back pretending she really was at daycare!

Alyson: SO THIS WAS A BIG FUCKING JOKE??? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? 

(Slamming down of phone. Praying to GOD I didn't just permanently FUCK my blood pressure.)

When I could formulate sentences again I called him back, and after more screaming I saw a smidge of humour in my HUGE FUCKING MOMMY BRAIN MOMENT where I forgot that the child that I PERSONALLY put down for a nap, was still napping, and not stuck inside a daycare that my husband had to kick down the door to get her out of. 

HOWEVER, he has since learned not to ever, EVER, E.V.E.R. make a "joke" like that ever again!!! Even if he thinks I'm "in on it" and just being sarcastic, he will NEVER pull that shit again. I'm laughing now, but still mad that he really didn't know I was serious about the whole thing. 

I think I may have peed my pants when I read this story. Not only could I totally see it happening to me, but I am just THAT crazy that I probably would have called every possible emergency service to get to daycare ASAP. 

Hope this gave you a chuckle and THANKS to Alyson for letting me share her "special" moment with the world. :) xoxo


Took a second to do a belly photo tonight - comparing 31 weeks to 31 weeks from last pregnancy, looks about the same... Aside from being paler and, apparently, caring less about my appearance as "helmet head" (as my hubby calls my slicked back pony tail due to the amounts of gel/spray I use to keep it out of my face) is a go-to these days! :p