i can't do it

I've been writing a post for an hour. I can't post it. It sucks.

I'm tired and grouchy and I just yelled at Dan for reading while I write over my shoulder.

THIS is pregnancy.

Anyone who tells you that you aren't grouchier, more emotional and all-in-all crazy during pregnancy is lying to you. They will probably also tell you that labour isn't that bad with the drugs and that being a parent is easy.

I sat here writing this stupid post that I've now tossed in the virtual garbage bin because I was trying too hard. Trying too hard to use my brain. It took me at least a minute to try to come up with the word I wanted to use that I couldn't remember, that once I remembered it, ended up being "encouragement". Blank slate.

Last night, I was so busy with my new project - which my initial post was about that sucked - that I didn't eat after supper. This is a both a tragedy and a success. I was pissed when I realized it was 9:30pm and I was exhausted and I hadn't eaten anything for a snack. Even though I wasn't hungry. SO, I had a piece of chocolate just to spite my metabolism. SCREW YOU METABOLISM - you will not win against my fight to put on excess wait!

Tonight. It's 8:10pm I'm literally minutes away from sleep and I'm stopping writing this crappy, useless post right now because I'm going to eat something unnecessarily because I just want to eat something. My moms in town and so, now, the combination of my husband and my mother has resulted in watching some business show on CBC that, at this point, is so far above my head, I have nothing better to do than suffer in silence and, perhaps, distract them with my tempting snack so they leave the room while I switch to TMZ.

I hope, for your sake, that tomorrow I can find something more interesting than spewing out the exact thoughts as they come into my brain to share with you.

Wishing you a delicious and calorie-rich, fat cell expanding, post-dinner, pre-bedtime snack. I don't want to "go down" by myself. It's always more fun to do something together.