Jan 24, 2012

sex or no sex?

Those of you who are moms, or even better, moms of more than one kid, OR EVEN BETTER, greater than 20 weeks pregnant are right now thinking NO SEX! :p ha ha ha.

But that's not what I'm talking about.

Here's what's up. In my province, up until right now apparently, when you went for your standard twenty week ultrasound, you would not be informed of the baby's sex whether it was obvious to the sonographer (that's a guess of what the person's called and being that it's underlined in squiggly red, probably not a good one) or not. In fact, with my first pregnancy, I had the blessing of knowing a doc who did ultrasounds who told me my babe's sex before this "standard" ultrasound so I was joking with the sonographer that she should just "nod if I was right or not" and not a gig. Like joking with the border control officers at the airport.

So, with this pregnancy, Dan and I were going to have our the sex be a surprise. Why not? I mean, with Jane, it was our first baby, I had lost my job, blah blah blah... I wanted to know. It gave me piece of mind to have tons of pink clothes organized by type and size. Plus, I will admit, when I found out my first was a girl, I was relieved. I know what to do with vaginas. I'll never forget my best friend calling me after finding out the sex of her first, screaming "what am I supposed to do with a PENIS???". Honestly. I don't know. When little girls run around naked, as they tend to like to (my first cat was named streeker after me), I think it's cute. When little boys run around naked, I'm uncomfortable. Truth.

Another reason for keeping the babe's sex a surprise... we didn't want to have to pay to find out. I'm not judging, if that's your thing, fill your boots. But the only way to find out the sex here would be to go to one of those 3D baby ultrasound places that take the creepy, alien-like photos of the baby in your belly. I know people are curious what's going on in there but it ain't my thing. Plus, it's expensive. I'm not paying $200 or more to find out my babe's sex and get pictures of he/she in my belly that, chances are, I probably will never look at again once the actual child is in my arms. I mean, when they are still in your belly, yeah, share it with the world, blow it up, throw it up over the fireplace. But, once the baby is born, my guess is those pics are getting "stored" until... I don't know. Is that something you'd take out and show your adult child? This was you in my belly. Weird.

I mean, there's definitely something attractive about imagining pushing the baby out and having someone announce "it's a ____"! And, honestly, being surprised and excited by the unknown of it all. But, fact is, even though I "knew" Jane was going to be a girl, it was still the most exciting and amazing moment of my life. I say "knew" because, here's a ground-breaker", ultrasound techs are not always right. Sometimes penises hide (ask a man who's been in cold water) and sometimes random bones look like penises.

So, now, I read an article in the local paper that says the hospital is now allowing patients to know the sex of their babies if it's determined during routine ultrasound. Seems they won't be going the extra mile to determine sex but if it's obvious, they'll let your family doc know and you can ask at your next appointment.

Uh oh.

I don't know why I'm even bothering to pretend this is causing me conflict. I'm asking. 100%. Crap. I have no will power. C'mon! I can't have someone else, who I see every four weeks, sitting there knowing the sex of the baby that's inside me. And, you just know, it's gonna slip anyways. He'll be all like "so how's he doing in there?" or "is she moving a lot?" and BAM, surprise is ruined anyways. So I might as well ask and know sooner rather than later. And, if for whatever reason, the little babe's sex can't be determined, then WOOHOO surprise here we come.

Fact is, the child's room is blue anyways. Well, 1/4 blue. I'll post pictures soon. Yes. I am completely ridiculous and did my nursery over Christmas - don't get me started on how superstitious this made me. I still have severe guilt and anxiety about it.

In all honesty, I am kind of excited to find out. ONLY because I have four hundred bags of Jane's old clothes that I'd like to know whether I should organize, clean or give to charity. It's taking up an insane amount of storage space in a house with no storage space.

I am completely without preference for this baby's sex. If it's a girl, it would be great - obviously convenient because we have everything we need, and I'd love another girl, AND it seems like everyone I know who's having a second baby is "doubling up". If it's a boy, that would be awesome too - I'd love to have a little boy, just as there's a special bond between mom and daughter, same is true for mom and son.

I'll keep ya posted. Fact is, if I find out, everyone does because I have no brain power and if I dared try to keep it a secret, I'd blurt it out within seconds anyways so what's the point!

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