Jul 18, 2012

you know you're full term when...

I started this list the other morning at 4am, when I couldn't sleep... which is number one of my list for "You know you're full term when..."

(1) You are exhausted constantly but apparently don't require sleep during the night anymore.

(2) When you get on the scale, you don't know which previously stored weight is your own or your husbands.

(3) You spend your days re-cleaning things you already cleaned, just so you can clean some more... OR, in my case, moving the snowblower, a set of winter tires and all the tool containers around in the garage so that (1) you can sweep out the garage - because that's necessary and (2) have more space around the car to get both kids in and out without bumping into anything.

(4) You re-start the grooming process (or attempt to) of shaving your legs and armpits daily - something you have not done since you were (1) single or (2) in high school, and try (desperately) to make your bikini line less-jungle-princess-esque in fear that at any point 10 or more people will be seeing this side of you up close and personal for several hours. At least.

(5) You over-react to every cramp, pain, sensation, anything that affects the area between your boobs and your upper thighs, telling yourself it's a sign labour is coming soon... I've convinced myself that my nipples have gotten darker in the last 5 days and they have definitely gotten sorer.

(6) You slowly, but surely, come to the realization that "due date" is one of those non-existent, dream-like, aspirations like "goal weight" or "all expense paid vacation".

(7) You're willing to do completely humiliating things in an effort to get the darn baby out of you... par exemple... sex, nipple stimulation, castor oil (if you don't know why this is humiliating, then you aren't full term yet).

(8) You're no longer willing or able to wear socially appropriate maternity clothes and have opted to live in only clothes made of stretchable cotton. I am currently wearing black capri leggings and a white t-shirt. I wouldn't wear skin-tight leggings with a t-shirt in public when I was at my skinniest. But, somehow, because I'm gigantic, I feel the need to share every curve with the entire world. Makes complete sense to me.

That's all I got... feel free to add your own special experiences.

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