Ambitiously, I woke up yesterday thinking - I'm going to start eating healthier this week. Post-easter guilt. FAIL. Too much chocolate in the house, combined with exhaustion = PREGNANT WOMAN HELL.
Here's why I'm exhausted and why I'm a sucker... any advice, as always, is appreciated. Keeping in mind that I'm exhausted and a SUCKER!
Jane's been waking up again throughout the night. I remember during my first pregnancy sleeping horribly and thinking "well, this is my body's way of preparing me for a new baby". Well, maybe, this is Jane's way of preparing me for a new baby??? ARGH! OR, for making me age 10 years in four nights.
I have NO IDEA how it started, usually I can trace it back to something I did (seriously, it's pretty near always my fault because, being the mom, I'm pretty sure I have the most influence) but I have no idea how this started... she's waking up several times throughout the night to get me to "tuck her in". She must toss and turn throughout the night and then, of course, the blanket gets kicked off, she gets uncovered and needs to be tucked in. I'm 99% sure she's not getting cold, being that she sleeps in fleece jammies and her room temp is set at 20+ degrees (Celsius for my US gals).
So, here's the first thing I did - get her new jammies. Because along with the tuck-in issues, she's been complaining that her old jammies are "bothering me". So, new jammies. Check one. Except, I didn't put them on her last night because they are cotton and I was thinking that the fleece ones might keep her asleep because, if she did lose the blanket, she'd still be warm. FAIL. She was up like 100 times last night. Between 1:11am and 2:47am, she was up pretty much every 10 minutes I swear... and not doing what she usually does when she wakes up - talking, singing, laughing - she was SCREECHING. At first, I was nice, calm, soothing mommy. But, by 2:21am, I was GRUMPY, DON'T F WITH ME MOMMY. And I left her to cry. Calling out to me. Begging me to tuck her in. Heartbreaking. I left her for like 15 minutes. If it had calmed down, I would have been satisfied with my efforts. But it escalated. Jane rarely escalates. I HATE that she was calling out for me. SERIOUS GUILT. Anyways, I failed miserably at that tactic and ended up, 15 mins in, going in - very, seriously grumpily - to tell her no more crying and that this was the last time mommy was coming in and I wasn't tucking her in anymore because she was a big girl and big girls didn't cry unless they were sick or scared!!!! ARGH!! GRRRR!!! I was grumpy... So, it might have been a very stern conversation. To which she responds in her quietest, sweetest, voice....
"I just need some help sometimes... My hands are too little."
If my heart could have been stabbed repeatedly with a blunt object it would have hurt less than the guilt I felt at that moment. Am I a sucker? I have no idea. But she got me. BIG TIME. My hands are too little. I just need help "sometimes". She says "sometimes" at the end of a lot of her sentences... and it just made it that much sweeter. ARGH. I felt like the WORST MOTHER EVER. My hands are too little. OUCH. Sorry. I wish I could have taped it for you - you would be dying like me right now.
So, we changed her into her new jammies and, guess what, no more wake ups. EFFER. I suck and I'm a sucker.
Seriously, if this kid is taking me for a sucker, then she's the smartest two year old on the planet because she knew exactly what to say to turn grumpy, pretty-well-yelling, 2am mommy into a lamb.
I'm going to start her off tonight in the new jammies and combine that with prayer for a good night's sleep. I can't handle the guilt or the exhaustion.
Someone remind me again how I'm supposed to do this with TWO in four months?? At least the newbie can't tell me that she "just wants to be snuggled and held because I'm just a baby and I need my mommy" when I'm trying to put her in her crib for a nap... that would suck. Maybe that's why it takes babies a year or so to talk - gives the Moms a break period where we don't have to suffer through the guilt of what they are really thinking!
Have you entered the BEST GIVEAWAY EVER YET - if not, ur nuts. Don't have a need for the cutest wall decals ever?? Turn it into the best baby shower gift in history and enter anyways!
Showing posts with label Sleeping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sleeping. Show all posts
Apr 10, 2012
Feb 28, 2012
bedtime routines
It's 7:34pm in the Ellenberger house and, as usual, Jane has just gone to sleep. All is quiet. No one is crying. No one is yelling. No kicking. No screaming. Dan and I are sitting on the couch - he with a glass of wine, me with my laptop - relaxing.
Up until pre-Christmas, Jane's bedtime used to be 6:30pm. She'd go to sleep at 6:30pm and sleep until 6:30am. Including a 1.5-2 hour nap during the day. This was great but also hard. It was great to have so much time to ourselves at the end of the day but also hard to only get an hour or so with Jane after work/daycare before bedtime.
When the time changed in November, we went through a transition stage... that. was. hell. Jane started waking up at 4am. Every. Morning. I was in my first trimester. It wasn't pretty. I was literally, waking up with her, putting on the tv, and falling asleep while she snuggled in my arms. Falling asleep while my child was awake next to me watching tv. Mom of the year.
We stuck with everything for a while, unchanged, waiting to see if it was a phase that would pass. But, at Christmas, we ended up moving her bedtime to 7:30pm and, after a week or so of adjustment, she started sleeping until 6:30 am again. THANK. GOD. Dan said we needed to do it for me more than Jane. Apparently I'm not nice when I'm tired.
Here's the thing. 6:30 or 7:30, the number one response I get from a lot of other moms when they find out how early Jane goes to bed is "oh my God, how do you get her to sleep so early?" Not in a bad way, in an envious way. It's usually followed by "______ won't go to bed until ____".
Here's how I do it.
I put Jane to bed at 7:30 pm. Every night. No questions asked.
I don't wait for her to look tired. I don't ask her if she's ready for bed. I don't let time slip away from me. She is in her bed at 7:30 pm. The end. If she doesn't fall asleep right away (which happens extremely, extremely rarely), she does not come back downstairs. She stays in her bed. That's it.
Part of our success in this (I say our, cause Dan's truly a parent in my house too) is routine. Ever since the DAY - literally - Jane came home from the hospital, we started a routine with her. We did bathtime, boobtime and bedtime. We did it at the same time every night. Like I said. We didn't wait for her to look tired. I never did. Even when she napped during the day. We had a schedule. Now, at that point, she set the schedule. I'm not one of those crazy people who tries to put their newborn on a schedule. I'm not that anal or control-freaky - not that there's anything wrong with those of you who are. I let her set the schedule and then I stuck to her schedule. Every four weeks or so the schedule changed, it would take me a week to figure that out, and then we'd get back on it.
But bedtime never changed, no matter how screwed up naptimes might have been during the day.
So, what's our routine now? You'll be happy to know boobtime no longer occurs. :p
As time went on, the routine changed as our little baby turned into an infant and then a toddler. Bathtime, boobtime, bedtime was replaced by bathtime, bottletime, bedtime then bottletime, booktime, bedtime to what it is now quiettime, booktime and bedtime. We only do bath every other night in our house.
Usually at 6:45pm or so we start setting the stage. Whatever Jane is doing - playing, watching tv, whatever - I start telling her that it's almost time for bedtime and that she only has a few more minutes to play.
At 7pm, "it's bedtime"... we're upstairs. If it's bath night, we're in the bath - I still get in the bath with Jane because it's hilariously fun. If not, Jane has some quiet time (which is really just tv-free time) playing with my iPAD on my bed - doing puzzles, reading stories, etc. I don't like to let her watch tv right up until bedtime, I feel like it's too much stimulation. I'm not sure the iPAD is much better but Jane likes to do puzzles and listen to her nursery rhymes and such so it's just quieter and less "BLAH" in your face. At quarter after, we move to the bedroom. No lights on. Just a lamp. I've ALWAYS implemented this rule. It may seem obvious, but not to all. When it's bedtime (or nighttime wakings for those with newbies), lights are kept low. We read two stories - when I say this, I smile, because Jane tells me "I read two stories, like this" and she holds up her two fingers like a peace sign. Too cute.
Jane is SO invested in this routine that she will tell it to you. After you read the stories, she lies down. We tuck her in with her blankie, "turn on my music, big kisses, turn off my light" (that's Jane telling you her routine).
Sometimes I reinforce that when she wakes up she just needs to say "oh mommy, where are you?" and that she doesn't have to cry because "big girls don't cry when they wake up because mommy is always right outside the door"... I think it's important to teach your babes this or something similar. When our kids are babies, what do they do when they wake up to get your attention? They cry. They cry and we come. As they get older, if you don't teach them, somehow, that they don't need to cry and that they can get your attention another way, then what else are they gonna do but cry? We've taught Jane the "oh mommy" thing and it's hilarious. I wake up every morning laughing when she literally repeats, word for word, "oh mommy, where ARE YOU?" over and over in a happy girl voice.
Here's my second tip and it relates to big-girl (or boy) beds. We've never, ever, ever, ever, told Jane that she can get out of her bed when she wakes up. We've never said "if you wake up, you can get out of your bed and come get mommy" or "go play with your books until mommy comes in". I know that some parents like to do things this way and that's fine - oftentimes it's in an effort to get a bit more sleep which I can appreciate. For us, I feel like it's been a blessing. My concern, with teaching Jane it's ok to get out of bed, is that if she woke up throughout the night, she'd be getting out of bed and coming to our room... which, of course, could result in another challenging habit. Also, oftentimes, she'll make a few peeps early in the AM and then go back to sleep for another hour or so. Again, I'd be concerned she'd end up in our bed at that point. SO, for us, it worked best to implement the above "oh mommy" strategy and I get into her room as quickly as I can so that she doesn't get impatient and try to get out of bed by herself. I literally (maybe I'm crazy) don't even want her to know she has that option. :p
This has resulted in a good outcome for us in that, even in those rare times where she doesn't go to sleep right away (sometimes she sings for a little bit :p) or during those days where she has no interest in having a nap - she will stay in her bed and have some quiet time. She'll chat to herself or sing, and every one still gets some quiet time.
As always, I'm not saying my way is the highway. We do what works for us. These are the little things that we do that work for us. Maybe there's something there that can work for you - maybe you have something to share that works for you. Bring it on! :)
Happy sleeping!
Up until pre-Christmas, Jane's bedtime used to be 6:30pm. She'd go to sleep at 6:30pm and sleep until 6:30am. Including a 1.5-2 hour nap during the day. This was great but also hard. It was great to have so much time to ourselves at the end of the day but also hard to only get an hour or so with Jane after work/daycare before bedtime.
When the time changed in November, we went through a transition stage... that. was. hell. Jane started waking up at 4am. Every. Morning. I was in my first trimester. It wasn't pretty. I was literally, waking up with her, putting on the tv, and falling asleep while she snuggled in my arms. Falling asleep while my child was awake next to me watching tv. Mom of the year.
We stuck with everything for a while, unchanged, waiting to see if it was a phase that would pass. But, at Christmas, we ended up moving her bedtime to 7:30pm and, after a week or so of adjustment, she started sleeping until 6:30 am again. THANK. GOD. Dan said we needed to do it for me more than Jane. Apparently I'm not nice when I'm tired.
Here's the thing. 6:30 or 7:30, the number one response I get from a lot of other moms when they find out how early Jane goes to bed is "oh my God, how do you get her to sleep so early?" Not in a bad way, in an envious way. It's usually followed by "______ won't go to bed until ____".
Here's how I do it.
I put Jane to bed at 7:30 pm. Every night. No questions asked.
I don't wait for her to look tired. I don't ask her if she's ready for bed. I don't let time slip away from me. She is in her bed at 7:30 pm. The end. If she doesn't fall asleep right away (which happens extremely, extremely rarely), she does not come back downstairs. She stays in her bed. That's it.
Part of our success in this (I say our, cause Dan's truly a parent in my house too) is routine. Ever since the DAY - literally - Jane came home from the hospital, we started a routine with her. We did bathtime, boobtime and bedtime. We did it at the same time every night. Like I said. We didn't wait for her to look tired. I never did. Even when she napped during the day. We had a schedule. Now, at that point, she set the schedule. I'm not one of those crazy people who tries to put their newborn on a schedule. I'm not that anal or control-freaky - not that there's anything wrong with those of you who are. I let her set the schedule and then I stuck to her schedule. Every four weeks or so the schedule changed, it would take me a week to figure that out, and then we'd get back on it.
But bedtime never changed, no matter how screwed up naptimes might have been during the day.
So, what's our routine now? You'll be happy to know boobtime no longer occurs. :p
As time went on, the routine changed as our little baby turned into an infant and then a toddler. Bathtime, boobtime, bedtime was replaced by bathtime, bottletime, bedtime then bottletime, booktime, bedtime to what it is now quiettime, booktime and bedtime. We only do bath every other night in our house.
Usually at 6:45pm or so we start setting the stage. Whatever Jane is doing - playing, watching tv, whatever - I start telling her that it's almost time for bedtime and that she only has a few more minutes to play.
At 7pm, "it's bedtime"... we're upstairs. If it's bath night, we're in the bath - I still get in the bath with Jane because it's hilariously fun. If not, Jane has some quiet time (which is really just tv-free time) playing with my iPAD on my bed - doing puzzles, reading stories, etc. I don't like to let her watch tv right up until bedtime, I feel like it's too much stimulation. I'm not sure the iPAD is much better but Jane likes to do puzzles and listen to her nursery rhymes and such so it's just quieter and less "BLAH" in your face. At quarter after, we move to the bedroom. No lights on. Just a lamp. I've ALWAYS implemented this rule. It may seem obvious, but not to all. When it's bedtime (or nighttime wakings for those with newbies), lights are kept low. We read two stories - when I say this, I smile, because Jane tells me "I read two stories, like this" and she holds up her two fingers like a peace sign. Too cute.
Jane is SO invested in this routine that she will tell it to you. After you read the stories, she lies down. We tuck her in with her blankie, "turn on my music, big kisses, turn off my light" (that's Jane telling you her routine).
Sometimes I reinforce that when she wakes up she just needs to say "oh mommy, where are you?" and that she doesn't have to cry because "big girls don't cry when they wake up because mommy is always right outside the door"... I think it's important to teach your babes this or something similar. When our kids are babies, what do they do when they wake up to get your attention? They cry. They cry and we come. As they get older, if you don't teach them, somehow, that they don't need to cry and that they can get your attention another way, then what else are they gonna do but cry? We've taught Jane the "oh mommy" thing and it's hilarious. I wake up every morning laughing when she literally repeats, word for word, "oh mommy, where ARE YOU?" over and over in a happy girl voice.
Here's my second tip and it relates to big-girl (or boy) beds. We've never, ever, ever, ever, told Jane that she can get out of her bed when she wakes up. We've never said "if you wake up, you can get out of your bed and come get mommy" or "go play with your books until mommy comes in". I know that some parents like to do things this way and that's fine - oftentimes it's in an effort to get a bit more sleep which I can appreciate. For us, I feel like it's been a blessing. My concern, with teaching Jane it's ok to get out of bed, is that if she woke up throughout the night, she'd be getting out of bed and coming to our room... which, of course, could result in another challenging habit. Also, oftentimes, she'll make a few peeps early in the AM and then go back to sleep for another hour or so. Again, I'd be concerned she'd end up in our bed at that point. SO, for us, it worked best to implement the above "oh mommy" strategy and I get into her room as quickly as I can so that she doesn't get impatient and try to get out of bed by herself. I literally (maybe I'm crazy) don't even want her to know she has that option. :p
This has resulted in a good outcome for us in that, even in those rare times where she doesn't go to sleep right away (sometimes she sings for a little bit :p) or during those days where she has no interest in having a nap - she will stay in her bed and have some quiet time. She'll chat to herself or sing, and every one still gets some quiet time.
As always, I'm not saying my way is the highway. We do what works for us. These are the little things that we do that work for us. Maybe there's something there that can work for you - maybe you have something to share that works for you. Bring it on! :)
Happy sleeping!
Nov 3, 2009
Potential Stupid Question
This may be a stupid question but I don't know the answer so I'm asking it anyways...
Y'all know that I swaddle Jane at bedtime. I've tried a few times to let one arm out or both arms out and she ends up hitting herself in the face all night, thus, waking up a bazillion times.
My question is: When she's ready to be out of the swaddle, how to I use blankets to keep her warm? "They" say you're not supposed to use loose blankets, so how do you Moms out there who aren't swaddling keep your babes warm and cozy at night? What types of blankets are you using?
I'm pretty sure at this point if Jane did pull a blankie over her head she's easily able to move it away... but I'd still worry.
>
I figure it's best to find some answers to this question now so I'm not freaking out about it when she's ready to be footloose and fancy free (remember that first night in the crib?!?!). :p
Please share your suggestions and advice - the more the better!
Jen :)
PS - Here's a few pictures from Halloween... Jane's costume lasted about an hour before she peed on it (which, of course, never happens) and then she fell asleep!
Y'all know that I swaddle Jane at bedtime. I've tried a few times to let one arm out or both arms out and she ends up hitting herself in the face all night, thus, waking up a bazillion times.
My question is: When she's ready to be out of the swaddle, how to I use blankets to keep her warm? "They" say you're not supposed to use loose blankets, so how do you Moms out there who aren't swaddling keep your babes warm and cozy at night? What types of blankets are you using?
I'm pretty sure at this point if Jane did pull a blankie over her head she's easily able to move it away... but I'd still worry.
>I figure it's best to find some answers to this question now so I'm not freaking out about it when she's ready to be footloose and fancy free (remember that first night in the crib?!?!). :p
Please share your suggestions and advice - the more the better!
Jen :)
PS - Here's a few pictures from Halloween... Jane's costume lasted about an hour before she peed on it (which, of course, never happens) and then she fell asleep!
Sep 21, 2009
Whining About Weaning
So, on the last crib update things were going great... here's the latest:I was so tired come Friday that I set up camp in Jane's room. After that fabulous night #2, she went right back to 3 hour sleeping intervals... I think. By "I think", I mean that it's quite likely that, because I had to go into her room to give her her nummy (pacifier), I assumed she was hungry and fed her at 3 hour intervals when I could have just given her her nummy and gone back to bed. It's a catch-22 because I was thinking "well, I'm already in here - maybe if I feed her now, I'll avoid the 2 am feeding" and so on. Not the case.
I went to a house-warming party Friday night with Jane (and by party I mean I arrived at 6pm and left at 7:30pm :p). I swear to God I "cried" 45 times because my eyes were burning so badly from being exhausted that I couldn't open my eyes completely without them watering. Awesome.
I know what the issue is... Jane is dependent on her nummy fall asleep. It's my own doing and now I have to undo it. According to some books, I am using the nummy right as Jane will suck on it for 5-10 mins when she's first falling asleep and then spits it out. But according to other books, the ones I hate right now, because she needs the nummy to fall asleep, when she wakes during the night (as we all do), she wants her nummy so she can fall back asleep and, THUS, I am having to get up 4-5 times in addition to 1-2 feedings to give her her nummy - sometimes twice in 5 minutes as she'll start to fall asleep, drop the nummy and then get upset because she doesn't have it anymore!
So, come Friday, I realized I couldn't let myself get more tired and I set up camp in Jane's room. It's actually quite comfortable - I took the down mattress topper off our guestbed and folded it on the floor. I'm sleeping great! ha ha ha. In fact, last night, I had my first DREAM (vs. nightmare) about "The Rock" (that hot I-used-to-be-a-wierd-wrestler-but-now-I'm-normal-and-hot-as-heck guy).
The last three nights I've focused on catching up on my sleep but, now, I need to start working on the nummy problem. According to the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" books, what I need to do is let her have the nummy when she's falling asleep, while she's sucking hard on it. Then, once she's almost asleep I should take it out and let her continue falling asleep without it.... apparently, eventually she'll be able to fall asleep without it. I don't know about this as this is kind of what she does on her own anyways. I'm not into the "let her cry it out" method, so as much as I love and respect those of you out there who have done it, I know I won't be able to do it so don't bother. :p According to "The Baby Whisperer", I should just go in and soothe her by patting her back (which makes no freakin' sense to me at all because this baby whisperer chick says to have babies sleep on their backs, then she says her solution to everything is to gently pat them on the back)!! Makes no sense. I tried to combine these methods yesterday during naptime... I took out Jane's nummy after a few minutes and she fussed for it so I tried to shhhhh her and rock her but she just got more and more worked up and I wasn't about to let her wake up over it so I caved and gave her back her nummy. And won't she get dependent on this if I start soothing her that way? I need help here.
Anybody got any suggestions? I don't need to wean her from the nummy completely, just to break the association she has with the nummy and sleeping.
Thanks and love you guys as always! I have the BEST "followers"!
Jen :)
Sep 18, 2009
Nightmares
I thought nightmares ended when you became a teenager?!?!
Apparently, I was mistaken. I guess, thinking back to it... every "job" I've had has given me nightmares. When I was a waitress, I had nightmares that the restaurant was full and I was the only one working. When I was a drug-rep, I had nightmares about docs asking me question after question that I didn't know the answers to. So, I guess with my new "job" as a Mom, it should be no different. But it is.
I've probably had 4-5 nightmares to date about something heartbreaking happening to Jane. I can't even describe how they make me feel - there are no words. I, literally, have to go inside my dream and tell myself I can wake up and it will be over. The most horrible part is that, when I'm dreaming, it seems so real. So real, in fact, that I find myself waking up so tense, unsettled, upset, horrified that it takes awhile to fall back to sleep - and usually only after I've checked on Jane 45 times. I lay there thinking about the dream - how overwhelmingly upset (upset is not even a good enough word) I am in the dream and, of course, this leads to thinking about what would happen if something really did happen to Jane. I can't think about it now as it's left for those middle of the night thoughts that consume your mind not allowing you to focus your thoughts anywhere else... during the day, my mind can't even go there, thank God.
Honestly, now that I really think about it, I don't think I've had a good dream since Jane was born... if I dream at all, it's always a nightmare. Thankfully, it doesn't happen often! Is that common? I suppose it makes sens as I'm not getting the deep sleep I used to.
I guess this post is kind of a downer - sorry! My nightmares, thankfully not real, make me realize how lucky I am that Jane is healthy and that all is going well so far. I remember when I was growing up my Mom always telling me that she had a sister who passed away when she was 6 weeks old and that my Nan always counted her as one of her children. I'm pretty sure I used to think that was strange. I get it now more than anything. Had anything happened to Jane, even during the early weeks of pregnancy, I would include her as one of my children and there would never be another Jane. I can't imagine having lost her at 6 weeks or ever. My heart goes out to those Moms who have ever suffered the loss of their baby (at any age) or had to deal with health-scares... I can't imagine the pain.
I know the exponential increase in worries for a new Mom are common... I don't expect that my mind will ever be at ease again. Since having Jane, I've found a stronger attachment to having faith and, suddenly, find myself praying nightly again like I did when I was a kid. My prayers usually consist of a bazillion thank you's (literally, one after the other - "thank you, thank you, thank you..." ha ha ha), asking to keep Jane safe and healthy and asking that our family can have a long, happy life together. I feel like whatever I can do to increase the chances that she will have a good life, I will do it religiously (no pun intended).
OK, feel like this post has been too serious but wanted to share my thoughts, worries, everything in hopes that, as usual, someone out there will say they're going through the same thing and that eventually I'll realize they are just dreams.
xo
Jen :)
PS - Gotta go watch Vampire Diaries while Jane naps... it seems I am addicted to everything vampire these days! :p
Apparently, I was mistaken. I guess, thinking back to it... every "job" I've had has given me nightmares. When I was a waitress, I had nightmares that the restaurant was full and I was the only one working. When I was a drug-rep, I had nightmares about docs asking me question after question that I didn't know the answers to. So, I guess with my new "job" as a Mom, it should be no different. But it is.
I've probably had 4-5 nightmares to date about something heartbreaking happening to Jane. I can't even describe how they make me feel - there are no words. I, literally, have to go inside my dream and tell myself I can wake up and it will be over. The most horrible part is that, when I'm dreaming, it seems so real. So real, in fact, that I find myself waking up so tense, unsettled, upset, horrified that it takes awhile to fall back to sleep - and usually only after I've checked on Jane 45 times. I lay there thinking about the dream - how overwhelmingly upset (upset is not even a good enough word) I am in the dream and, of course, this leads to thinking about what would happen if something really did happen to Jane. I can't think about it now as it's left for those middle of the night thoughts that consume your mind not allowing you to focus your thoughts anywhere else... during the day, my mind can't even go there, thank God.
Honestly, now that I really think about it, I don't think I've had a good dream since Jane was born... if I dream at all, it's always a nightmare. Thankfully, it doesn't happen often! Is that common? I suppose it makes sens as I'm not getting the deep sleep I used to.
I guess this post is kind of a downer - sorry! My nightmares, thankfully not real, make me realize how lucky I am that Jane is healthy and that all is going well so far. I remember when I was growing up my Mom always telling me that she had a sister who passed away when she was 6 weeks old and that my Nan always counted her as one of her children. I'm pretty sure I used to think that was strange. I get it now more than anything. Had anything happened to Jane, even during the early weeks of pregnancy, I would include her as one of my children and there would never be another Jane. I can't imagine having lost her at 6 weeks or ever. My heart goes out to those Moms who have ever suffered the loss of their baby (at any age) or had to deal with health-scares... I can't imagine the pain.
I know the exponential increase in worries for a new Mom are common... I don't expect that my mind will ever be at ease again. Since having Jane, I've found a stronger attachment to having faith and, suddenly, find myself praying nightly again like I did when I was a kid. My prayers usually consist of a bazillion thank you's (literally, one after the other - "thank you, thank you, thank you..." ha ha ha), asking to keep Jane safe and healthy and asking that our family can have a long, happy life together. I feel like whatever I can do to increase the chances that she will have a good life, I will do it religiously (no pun intended).
OK, feel like this post has been too serious but wanted to share my thoughts, worries, everything in hopes that, as usual, someone out there will say they're going through the same thing and that eventually I'll realize they are just dreams.
xo
Jen :)
PS - Gotta go watch Vampire Diaries while Jane naps... it seems I am addicted to everything vampire these days! :p
Sep 17, 2009
Second Night in the Crib
TAH DAH! I did it!
Jane had her second night in her crib on Monday and we both did fabulously! She slept from 8:30-3am and I slept from 9-3 (obviously we went back to bed after this but this was the long stretch)! YIPEE! And, most importantly, I slept solidly... no reasonless (that can't be a word) check-ins, no freaking out over nothing, just pure, enjoyable, restful, sleep! What a relief.
I checked all the things that I had not thought of for the first night (fan, music, etc.) during the day and we were all set for the night. I heard her loud and clear through the monitor (no doors open, no post-its) when she would wake up. I was up twice to feed her and about 3-4 additional times to give her the soother back. That willl be a habit to break once we get this crib-sleeping down. She usually spits the soother out once she's deep asleep, after about 10 mins, but then she'll often half-wake up a few hours late, whimpering a little, and giving her the soother puts her right back to sleep. It makes no sense to me right now to avoid giving her the soother and risk having her wake up completely... my sleep is too important to me right now!
All I can think about today is when I first bought the cradle for her to sleep in the room with us. I knew she'd only be able to sleep in it for 3 months but that seemed like so long! And here it is. Time is flying! Jane had her second night in her crib on Monday and we both did fabulously! She slept from 8:30-3am and I slept from 9-3 (obviously we went back to bed after this but this was the long stretch)! YIPEE! And, most importantly, I slept solidly... no reasonless (that can't be a word) check-ins, no freaking out over nothing, just pure, enjoyable, restful, sleep! What a relief.
I checked all the things that I had not thought of for the first night (fan, music, etc.) during the day and we were all set for the night. I heard her loud and clear through the monitor (no doors open, no post-its) when she would wake up. I was up twice to feed her and about 3-4 additional times to give her the soother back. That willl be a habit to break once we get this crib-sleeping down. She usually spits the soother out once she's deep asleep, after about 10 mins, but then she'll often half-wake up a few hours late, whimpering a little, and giving her the soother puts her right back to sleep. It makes no sense to me right now to avoid giving her the soother and risk having her wake up completely... my sleep is too important to me right now!
One thing we have gotten down pat, that's supposed to be a "good sleep habit", is putting her down while she's still awake but drowsy. I thought she would struggle with it as I used to nurse her to sleep or rock her but she transitioned to this easily, which is awesome. It's supposed to help them learn how to get themselves back to sleep on their own which is good for those middle of the night wake-ups. So, once I ween her off the middle of the night soother, we should be on our way to "good sleeping habit" heaven! I just recently read about this weaning on Elizabeth Pantley's website... she's the author of the "No Cry Sleep Solution" (a concept I am sold on from the title alone!). She says:
"When your baby wakes, go ahead and pop his pacifier or his bottle in his mouth, or nurse him. But, instead of leaving him there and going back to bed, or letting him fall asleep at the breast, let him suck for a few minutes until his sucking slows and he is relaxed and sleepy. Then break the seal with your finger and gently remove the pacifier or nipple."Seeing as I'm not getting a full night's sleep as it is - I might as well give this a try. As Elizabeth says, it may "complicate night wakings" for a little while but in the long run it will be worth it!
Thanks for all your support and advice! As always, it helps me get through the challenging days when I know I'm not alone in my crazy, worried-ways as a new Mom!
Jen :)
Sep 15, 2009
First Night in the Crib
So I decided last night that Jane would have her first night in her crib that night. We had slept fabulously the night before so I thought it best to give it a go after a previous night's great sleep... I was a MESS! First off, I thought I had everything set up and prepared... her IPOD to play her "sounds of the sea", the fan, the monitor, the nightlight, etc. After I got her to sleep, I turned on the IPOD player and the IPOD was dead. Apparently, that IPOD would not charge in that player or some crap, so I scratched that idea which sucked as the white noise usually blocks out any noise Dan and I make coming and going, so she doesn't wake. Then, I turned on the monitor, turned on the fan, and closed the door to leave my "big girl" in her room for the night. As soon as I turned on the parent-monitor, all I could hear was fan. I hadn't checked if I could hear her over the fan! So, I turned off the fan. Then I turned on the air conditioner in my bedroom. I hadn't checked if I could hear her over the loud AC in my room. So, I turned off the AC. Then, I realized that this was the first time (more than 15 mins) that I'd be using the monitors. I worried I hadn't set them up properly or that they were defective. So, I locked Miko (devil-cat) in the basement so I could leave Jane's door and my bedroom door open - backup in case the brand new, highly rated, monitor failed! :p Then I realized that with Dan not being home (at frisbee) he would likely come home, make noise and turn lights on, not realizing her nursery door was open. So, I started with the post-it notes. I left one on the basement door saying "do not open, Miko is locked in here", three on the light switch to the livingroom (where I purposely left the lights on) that explained why Miko was in the basement, why our doors were open, why the fan was off, why the AC was not on, not to turn on lights or make noise and, lastly, to not pester me for being so freaked out about everything in the morning because I knew I was being ridiculous! I am very self-aware and completely realized I had lost my marbles over this little milestone. I also left a post-it on the fridge saying not to turn on the tv loud, just in case he didn't see the four other strategically placed, bright-pink, post-its. When he got home, the garage door woke me up anyways because I didn't have the "sounds of the sea" and AC noise to drown out the regular house noise. It also made Jane "stir". So, now, here I am in her nursery, it's 3 hours since she went to sleep, an hour since I fell asleep, she's whimpering but still sleeping and I'm thinking I might as well feed her now so maybe I'll avoid the 3am feed and she'll sleep until 5ish. She ate, we all went to bed and, then, I had a nightmare that something bad happened to her. After that, I checked on her anytime I heard ANYTHING through the monitor. Once, I heard the soother drop out of her mouth and onto the floor (a great sign because it means she's so deep in sleep she didn't need the sucky) and I got up to check on her! It was brutal, but I stuck with it. As much as I wanted to just bring her back in my room and put her in the cradle, I left her. And we'll do it again tonight. It has to be done eventually and, since I'm the only one suffering, it's not like it's going to get any easier if I try next week!
I got up this morning and, once she was chatty, tested the fan and monitor to see if I could hear her and it was just fine. I switched the IPODs so that I can now play her music for her again which will avoid me waking her when I'm checking on her hourly. :p Come 4am, I felt comfortable enough with the monitor that I started closing our bedroom doors so that will also help with the noise. I'm also thinking that the white noise in her room from the music and the fan will help drown out her smaller sleeping-noises which, of course, made me run into her room last night. So, we'll giv'er another go tonight. I know eventually I will be fine.
Anyone want to tell their outrageous stories similar to this to make me NOT feel like such a freak?!?! If you don't have stories, make something up! ha ha ha.
Jen :)
PS - Here's a pic of one of the post-it "stations" from last night...
Sep 8, 2009
So Long Swaddle?
Now that Jane's three months, I'm going to be transitioning her from her cradle to her crib in the next few weeks. I'm definitely going to miss having her sleeping next to me but she's "growing up" and, fact is, if it weren't for the fact that the cradle can only handle so much weight - I'd probably keep her there until she was 25!
Before I move her to her crib, I was hoping to get her out of her swaddle. I don't think there's any negative to the swaddle, however, it would give me more comfort if she could have her arms out while she's sleeping - now that she's moving around a lot more and able to flip over.
So, on the weekend I tried to begin this transition and I left one of her arms out of the swaddle. Well, to make a long story short, I'm going to wait another couple of weeks before trying to make the change again... both nights she went from sleeping 5-6 hours straight to sleeping 2-3 hours straight! It was brutal. I'd look over at her and her little arm would be helicoptering around while she was sleeping! Also, when she woke every few hours, she would actually wake herself up versus her usual way of eating with her eyes closed and passing out again within 10 minutes. I stuck with it after the first night, hoping it might get better, but it didn't. Right now, getting a good night's sleep is too much of a priority for me to sacrifice it over something this small.
I'm setting next Monday as her first night in the crib - I know she'll be fine, it's me I'm worried about. I'll likely spend quite a few nights in the rocking chair, sleeping, so I can make sure she's OK... which, like I said, is more for me than her. :p Ultimately, I think this is going to work out great as I think the sun wakes Jane up when she's sleeping in my room (we have a huge bay window in our bedroom). However, in her room, the window is much smaller and the blinds block the light a lot better. I think this might help her sleep-in a bit longer... maybe! :p I'm going to use the Sleep-Rite positioner until she's out of the swaddle to keep her from flipping which will give me some more peace of mind.
Does anyone have any advice on transitioning Jane from the cradle to the crib? And, also, for moving her out of the swaddle without sacrificing a good night's sleep? Help is always appreciated!! :)
Jen :)
PS - We had a beautiful day yesterday and went to the Public Gardens... here are a few pictures!
Before I move her to her crib, I was hoping to get her out of her swaddle. I don't think there's any negative to the swaddle, however, it would give me more comfort if she could have her arms out while she's sleeping - now that she's moving around a lot more and able to flip over.
So, on the weekend I tried to begin this transition and I left one of her arms out of the swaddle. Well, to make a long story short, I'm going to wait another couple of weeks before trying to make the change again... both nights she went from sleeping 5-6 hours straight to sleeping 2-3 hours straight! It was brutal. I'd look over at her and her little arm would be helicoptering around while she was sleeping! Also, when she woke every few hours, she would actually wake herself up versus her usual way of eating with her eyes closed and passing out again within 10 minutes. I stuck with it after the first night, hoping it might get better, but it didn't. Right now, getting a good night's sleep is too much of a priority for me to sacrifice it over something this small.
I'm setting next Monday as her first night in the crib - I know she'll be fine, it's me I'm worried about. I'll likely spend quite a few nights in the rocking chair, sleeping, so I can make sure she's OK... which, like I said, is more for me than her. :p Ultimately, I think this is going to work out great as I think the sun wakes Jane up when she's sleeping in my room (we have a huge bay window in our bedroom). However, in her room, the window is much smaller and the blinds block the light a lot better. I think this might help her sleep-in a bit longer... maybe! :p I'm going to use the Sleep-Rite positioner until she's out of the swaddle to keep her from flipping which will give me some more peace of mind.
Does anyone have any advice on transitioning Jane from the cradle to the crib? And, also, for moving her out of the swaddle without sacrificing a good night's sleep? Help is always appreciated!! :)
Jen :)
PS - We had a beautiful day yesterday and went to the Public Gardens... here are a few pictures!
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Sep 4, 2009
Sleep Suggestions #2
Continued from yesterdays post...
Here are some tips that are supposed to help your baby sleep longer:
(1) Bedtime routine - huge supporter of this. Our routine is bath-boob-bed. We go upstairs at 8-9ish, no lights, no tv, just quiet. After a bath, Jane gets a massage and then her boob. Usually she falls asleep on the boob or I'll rock her to sleep... apparently big no-nos when it comes to creating good sleeping habits - pick your battles. I'll deal with the consequences of those actions when I'm not a zombie, thank you very much. I think the most important thing about the bedtime routine is that it establishes the difference between day and nighttime sleeping.
(2) Choose a well-lit area for your baby's naps - In line with a bedtime routine, I think it makes sense to have a separate sleeping area for daytime naps and nighttime sleeps. This way, once again, baby knows that nighttime means longtime! :p
(3) Increase daytime feeds - I tried this and - what the heck?!?! How the heck am I supposed to make her eat more than she wants? I tried this for a day with two results - (1) she was pissed at me when I tried to feed her and she wasn't hungry and (2) she didn't sleep any better that night. So I gave up!
(4) Ensure baby empties your boob - This is an important one. The milk at the "end" of your boob (hindmilk) is fattier and thicker than your foremilk. My hindmilk is like cream and my foremilk is like watered-down skim milk. When baby drinks the hindmilk, it keeps them fuller longer and, thus, asleep longer.
(5) Keep the evening calm - duh. See my routine re: no lights, no tv, etc. If you are overstimulating your babe in the evening and during nighttime feeds, you're not helping your cause - you're just extending the time it takes you to get them to/back to sleep.
(6) Feed baby in a darkened room at night - I did this without knowing it was a known tip (obviously, I'm a genius :p). Just use your common sense. Do you get tired in a bright room with the tv on? Scratch that, did you get tired in a bright room with the tv on pre-baby?
(7) Avoid nighttime diaper changes (unless necessary - i.e. poop) - it took me 8 weeks to figure this one out on my own. In the beginning, I was changing Jane's diaper every time she woke up at night and, never fail, she would fully wake up vs. the "I'm hungry and my eyes are barely open" wake up. It was taking me an hour to feed and get her back to sleep because of this. Now, I don't change her unless she poops her diaper and she doesn't poop her diaper until she wakes up in the morning. It takes me 15 mins to feed her and put her back down - which sounds better to you?
A lot of the above tips are common sense but sometimes our Mommy Brain prevents us from catching on right away.
Here are some tips that are supposed to help your baby sleep longer:
(1) Bedtime routine - huge supporter of this. Our routine is bath-boob-bed. We go upstairs at 8-9ish, no lights, no tv, just quiet. After a bath, Jane gets a massage and then her boob. Usually she falls asleep on the boob or I'll rock her to sleep... apparently big no-nos when it comes to creating good sleeping habits - pick your battles. I'll deal with the consequences of those actions when I'm not a zombie, thank you very much. I think the most important thing about the bedtime routine is that it establishes the difference between day and nighttime sleeping.
(2) Choose a well-lit area for your baby's naps - In line with a bedtime routine, I think it makes sense to have a separate sleeping area for daytime naps and nighttime sleeps. This way, once again, baby knows that nighttime means longtime! :p
(3) Increase daytime feeds - I tried this and - what the heck?!?! How the heck am I supposed to make her eat more than she wants? I tried this for a day with two results - (1) she was pissed at me when I tried to feed her and she wasn't hungry and (2) she didn't sleep any better that night. So I gave up!
(4) Ensure baby empties your boob - This is an important one. The milk at the "end" of your boob (hindmilk) is fattier and thicker than your foremilk. My hindmilk is like cream and my foremilk is like watered-down skim milk. When baby drinks the hindmilk, it keeps them fuller longer and, thus, asleep longer.
(5) Keep the evening calm - duh. See my routine re: no lights, no tv, etc. If you are overstimulating your babe in the evening and during nighttime feeds, you're not helping your cause - you're just extending the time it takes you to get them to/back to sleep.
(6) Feed baby in a darkened room at night - I did this without knowing it was a known tip (obviously, I'm a genius :p). Just use your common sense. Do you get tired in a bright room with the tv on? Scratch that, did you get tired in a bright room with the tv on pre-baby?
(7) Avoid nighttime diaper changes (unless necessary - i.e. poop) - it took me 8 weeks to figure this one out on my own. In the beginning, I was changing Jane's diaper every time she woke up at night and, never fail, she would fully wake up vs. the "I'm hungry and my eyes are barely open" wake up. It was taking me an hour to feed and get her back to sleep because of this. Now, I don't change her unless she poops her diaper and she doesn't poop her diaper until she wakes up in the morning. It takes me 15 mins to feed her and put her back down - which sounds better to you?
A lot of the above tips are common sense but sometimes our Mommy Brain prevents us from catching on right away.
Hopefully this tips will help you get a few extra minutes sleep or will confirm that you're on the right track for getting there eventually!
Jen :)
Jen :)
Sep 3, 2009
Sleep Suggestions #1
Jane will be 3 months next week, it's hard to believe so much time has already passed! Regardless, it's about this time that babies start "sleeping through the night". Pre-baby, I would have taken this to mean sleeping from 10pm to 7am. However, apparently, post-baby "sleeping through the night" means for 6 hours straight or so. As I always say, every baby is different so don't take this as a rule and get depressed if you're still at 3-4 hours and definitely don't start bragging if your baby is one of those 10-7 babies. No one will like you. ha ha ha, joking (kinda). :p
About a month ago, Jane went through a short period where she was sleeping 9-4 - aside from the painful, engorged boobs in the morning - it was fabulous! However, it ended quickly (I have no idea why as I changed nothing) and now she's back to a 5-6 hour sleep followed by a 2 hour period.
What I'm learning quickly is that (1) you should expect NOTHING and (2) you can do everything "right" and still get a crappy-night's sleep! To clarify, never expect that you'll get a good night's sleep as you'll just be grouchy with yourself when, all of a sudden, your babe is waking every 2-3 hours. Go to bed without expectation... or better yet, expecting the worst! Secondly, you can follow all the "expert" tips on how to get your baby to sleep longer and some nights they will work and some nights they're useless.
Jane is still on and off when it comes to sleep. On the nights I think I've done everything "right" and that she will sleep 6-7 hours, she's up every 3 hours (remember - no expectations) and on nights when she's barely eaten before bed, she'll sleep forever! The hardest part nowadays is that she doesn't nap very long during the day so sleeping when she sleeps is nearly impossible. So, I stick to my 9pm bedtime. Some nights I'd love to stay up later and watch tv with Dan and have some baby-free time, but right now, it's not worth the potential exhaustion the following day if she's having one of her 3-hour nights.
I highly recommend early bedtime to new Moms. My first week with Jane I waited until after the midnight feed to go to bed and I was running on fumes. I also found that the 9pm sleep interval is the one that's been extended to 6 hours now. So, if I want to get a few solid hours of sleep, I have to take advantage of that period and hit the sheets early. Eventually, once she's sleeping 8-9 hours straight, I will bump her bedtime back to 8pm and then I will stay up with Dan for a few hours before heading to bed myself... that's the plan anyways!
Check back tomorrow for more tips that are supposed to help your baby sleep longer - and my thoughts on them!
Jen :)
About a month ago, Jane went through a short period where she was sleeping 9-4 - aside from the painful, engorged boobs in the morning - it was fabulous! However, it ended quickly (I have no idea why as I changed nothing) and now she's back to a 5-6 hour sleep followed by a 2 hour period.
What I'm learning quickly is that (1) you should expect NOTHING and (2) you can do everything "right" and still get a crappy-night's sleep! To clarify, never expect that you'll get a good night's sleep as you'll just be grouchy with yourself when, all of a sudden, your babe is waking every 2-3 hours. Go to bed without expectation... or better yet, expecting the worst! Secondly, you can follow all the "expert" tips on how to get your baby to sleep longer and some nights they will work and some nights they're useless.
Jane is still on and off when it comes to sleep. On the nights I think I've done everything "right" and that she will sleep 6-7 hours, she's up every 3 hours (remember - no expectations) and on nights when she's barely eaten before bed, she'll sleep forever! The hardest part nowadays is that she doesn't nap very long during the day so sleeping when she sleeps is nearly impossible. So, I stick to my 9pm bedtime. Some nights I'd love to stay up later and watch tv with Dan and have some baby-free time, but right now, it's not worth the potential exhaustion the following day if she's having one of her 3-hour nights.
I highly recommend early bedtime to new Moms. My first week with Jane I waited until after the midnight feed to go to bed and I was running on fumes. I also found that the 9pm sleep interval is the one that's been extended to 6 hours now. So, if I want to get a few solid hours of sleep, I have to take advantage of that period and hit the sheets early. Eventually, once she's sleeping 8-9 hours straight, I will bump her bedtime back to 8pm and then I will stay up with Dan for a few hours before heading to bed myself... that's the plan anyways!
Check back tomorrow for more tips that are supposed to help your baby sleep longer - and my thoughts on them!
Jen :)
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