So I decided last night that Jane would have her first night in her crib that night. We had slept fabulously the night before so I thought it best to give it a go after a previous night's great sleep... I was a MESS! First off, I thought I had everything set up and prepared... her IPOD to play her "sounds of the sea", the fan, the monitor, the nightlight, etc. After I got her to sleep, I turned on the IPOD player and the IPOD was dead. Apparently, that IPOD would not charge in that player or some crap, so I scratched that idea which sucked as the white noise usually blocks out any noise Dan and I make coming and going, so she doesn't wake. Then, I turned on the monitor, turned on the fan, and closed the door to leave my "big girl" in her room for the night. As soon as I turned on the parent-monitor, all I could hear was fan. I hadn't checked if I could hear her over the fan! So, I turned off the fan. Then I turned on the air conditioner in my bedroom. I hadn't checked if I could hear her over the loud AC in my room. So, I turned off the AC. Then, I realized that this was the first time (more than 15 mins) that I'd be using the monitors. I worried I hadn't set them up properly or that they were defective. So, I locked Miko (devil-cat) in the basement so I could leave Jane's door and my bedroom door open - backup in case the brand new, highly rated, monitor failed! :p Then I realized that with Dan not being home (at frisbee) he would likely come home, make noise and turn lights on, not realizing her nursery door was open. So, I started with the post-it notes. I left one on the basement door saying "do not open, Miko is locked in here", three on the light switch to the livingroom (where I purposely left the lights on) that explained why Miko was in the basement, why our doors were open, why the fan was off, why the AC was not on, not to turn on lights or make noise and, lastly, to not pester me for being so freaked out about everything in the morning because I knew I was being ridiculous! I am very self-aware and completely realized I had lost my marbles over this little milestone. I also left a post-it on the fridge saying not to turn on the tv loud, just in case he didn't see the four other strategically placed, bright-pink, post-its. When he got home, the garage door woke me up anyways because I didn't have the "sounds of the sea" and AC noise to drown out the regular house noise. It also made Jane "stir". So, now, here I am in her nursery, it's 3 hours since she went to sleep, an hour since I fell asleep, she's whimpering but still sleeping and I'm thinking I might as well feed her now so maybe I'll avoid the 3am feed and she'll sleep until 5ish. She ate, we all went to bed and, then, I had a nightmare that something bad happened to her. After that, I checked on her anytime I heard ANYTHING through the monitor. Once, I heard the soother drop out of her mouth and onto the floor (a great sign because it means she's so deep in sleep she didn't need the sucky) and I got up to check on her! It was brutal, but I stuck with it. As much as I wanted to just bring her back in my room and put her in the cradle, I left her. And we'll do it again tonight. It has to be done eventually and, since I'm the only one suffering, it's not like it's going to get any easier if I try next week!
I got up this morning and, once she was chatty, tested the fan and monitor to see if I could hear her and it was just fine. I switched the IPODs so that I can now play her music for her again which will avoid me waking her when I'm checking on her hourly. :p Come 4am, I felt comfortable enough with the monitor that I started closing our bedroom doors so that will also help with the noise. I'm also thinking that the white noise in her room from the music and the fan will help drown out her smaller sleeping-noises which, of course, made me run into her room last night. So, we'll giv'er another go tonight. I know eventually I will be fine.
Anyone want to tell their outrageous stories similar to this to make me NOT feel like such a freak?!?! If you don't have stories, make something up! ha ha ha.
Jen :)
PS - Here's a pic of one of the post-it "stations" from last night...
4 comments:
Jane is so lucky to have such a great momma:) I remember when Sierra went to her crib. I thought the same thing about our montiors. My husband said "they are fine" but I ended up making a pallet in her floor and sleep in there the first 2 nights ....oh motherhood!
I can relate to the bad dreams! We started Chloe in her crib about a month ago (she's almost 3 months old now) and I kept having dreams that I had rolled on top of her or dropped her during a night feeding session because I couldn't hear her right in our room! It's a wonderful thing though once you can relax & get some rest! We have a video monitor which is very helpful!!
You are hilarious with the post-its. I'm sharing this one with Peter for sure. I relate to reacting to any stirs and peeps Parker makes at night. I woke up at 2am last night and realized I hadn't heard a peep from him since he went down at 930pm. It was dark so i used my cell phone for light (works great as a flashlight and clock all night long) to see if he was breathing. paniced, like i always do, because i couldnt heaer his breathe. probably had to do with the fact the fan was on and he was FINE. but tht wasnt enough so i put my hand gently on his chest and breathed a sigh of relief that his breathe was good. Then i slowly moved out of the room and closed the door hoping not to wake him. well half hour later he woke up to feed. it makes me wonder if i hadnt checked he may of slept longer. Ah to be a mom and worry.
You are definitely not a freak ... I can so relate to this. And the thing is ... all those preparations and worries and Jane was just fine :) These transitions are actually so much harder on us than on the babies. Which stings a little but also indicates that we are raising happy, healthy, well-adjusted babies ... we can only hope that lasts into the tween and teen years :) Wish I could tell you how to make the nightmares go away ... I still have moments of panic in the middle of the night - some really irrational thoughts - and I am two years into this mommy stuff!
Hoping the sleep deprivation isn't too awful for you ...
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