Dear Mother Nature

As a long term inhabitant of your residences, I feel it appropriate to inform you of a few recent, but less-than-ideal, experiences I have encountered during this adventure you would refer to as "life"...

First of all, I'd like to know what reasoning was put forth, aside from requirements for procreation, to commit two beings who are so completely opposite of each other that they spend most of the day trying not to eliminate the other from existence? May I suggest that, moving forward, you consider two separate residences for each of the two human species (as they cannot be of the same classification being that their differences are so abundant and apparent). Perhaps an annual mating day and then separation again to different corners of the universe?

Unfortunately, I've come to terms with the fact that these beings, of the species "male", would be unable to handle the pressures, stress, exhaustion, etc. that accompanies child bearing - mostly from having witnessed the struggles of these creatures during the course of a minor cold. However, would it not make sense for them to have been injected with some sort of understanding, empathy, etc. for the shear feat that it is to create an ENTIRELY NEW HUMAN BEING inside ones body for TEN MONTHS?!?! Just a suggestion for future improvements if the above recommendation is not taken into consideration.

Along those same lines, I am curious why it is that in the process of creating such wonderful little human beings, along with weight gain, exhaustion, back pain, cramps, and the resulting, fantastic but body-destroying labour, the women of your community are also subjected to further punishment in the form of stretch marks, weak bladders, saggy boobs, rashes, swelling, acne, insomnia, etc.? And those are just the minor aggravations of your pregnant females. Mother Nature, I hate to question your intentions but are you, perhaps, on the wrong team? If I were to make a suggestion - perhaps the results of such a long and strenuous pregnancy could be any combination of the following:

• Teenage-boy level metabolism
• Perfectly round and perky breasts
• Saddlebag elimination
• Cellulite obliteration
• Instantaneous six-pack abs
• Noxzema-girl skin

Something to consider.

On the topic of the weather. I understand that it is summer. I am both satisfied and made happier by the sunshine. However, it would be fantastic if you could either (1) turn down my internal temperature or (2) crank back on the 30 degree weather, just a little bit. Perhaps setting a limit at 25 might be a happy medium for all? Perhaps a resident survey is in order - I will draft.

Lastly, with reference to my upcoming labour and delivery. I would like to make a formal request for early delivery on the basis of wanting to harm somebody if I have to carry on much longer. In the interest of public safety, it is best that labour be initiated as early as next Monday morning with duration lasting no more than 3-4 hours. I would prefer a morning appointment beginning at approximately 9am so that we can drop Jane off to daycare first, and so that my male partner is able to pick up Jane at the end of the day without much disruption to her daily schedule. Most importantly, obviously, I would like you to order up a healthy baby.

Wishing you a wonderful evening.

Yours truly,

A Changed Perspective...

A few weeks ago, in the middle of the most un-enjoyable part of my week - the post swimming dry and dress routine - I saw something that broke my heart, made me angry and hasn't fully left the back corners of my mind since. First of all, let me complain about the post swimming dry and dress routine (because it just wouldn't be me if I didn't go off on a random tangent first)... why in heck can't they heat the dressing rooms at community centres? Of course, Jane is fine because as soon as the air touches her body when we're getting out of the pool, I have a warm cozy towel on her... but what about me? Me? I drip, soaking wet, towel-less, into the freeze-your-ba**s-off dressing room where I proceed to fully dry and dress my child before even getting a chance to put a towel around myself. At this point, I'm in such a rush to get home before Jane passes out (the post-swim nap is the best and god forbid I miss any of my "me time") that I don't even bother taking my bathing suit off anymore and just put my gym clothes on over it praying that I don't run into anyone who wants to check out my a** because they will think I've peed my pants because of the big wet spot. :p Ok, back to it...

As I was slipping back into my clothes, a bunch of junior high girls came into the dressing room - must have been a class outing or something. I immediately rolled my eyes. Lord help me if I have to stay in here any longer and listen to the obviously "cool girls" talk about which bathing suit they brought ("I brought two", "Oh, you're wearing a one piece, I brought my bikini", etc. etc.). Even their backpacks were more stylish than I ever was. Then I looked down my aisle of lockers. There was only one girl in my entire aisle. She didn't have a "cool" plaid backpack... just a simple, dark green, old-school, nylon backpack. She didn't have perfectly straight, highlighted hair... instead, shoulder length, slightly frizzy, unruly, un-coloured, curly hair. She wasn't wearing skinny jeans tucked into $100 rubber boots or (when will this fad end?) Uggs... just regular old jeans and running sneakers. She wasn't gabbing, louder than necessary, with four girls at once about bathing suits and boys... she wasn't talking to anyone. No one was talking to her. My heart broke.

Firstly, I wanted to grab the "loner" girl's arm, drag her out of the locker room and tell her that in ten years she would be beautiful, successful, happy. That in ten years, although she'd never forget about the nonsense that was high school, she would realize that she learned a lot from it and that, all in all, it made her a better person. I'd be lying if I told you I was the nerdy girl cause I wasn't it. However, I was no where near homecoming queen. I moved twice... once in junior high and once in the middle of high school. After my junior high move, I used to call my Mom at lunch to come and get me, crying after finding something horrible written about me on a school desk. After my high school move, I was just angry. I had moved away from my first love and left all my closest friends to go to a huge school where, once again, most of the girls hated me... to be honest, it was a catch-22. Girls are mean. So, what did I do? I hung out with boys. Of course, boys just happened to be "boyfriends" and so the girls hated me more because they thought I was a boyfriend stealer. Thankfully, in both situations, I ended up meeting some great people and, like I wanted to tell the girl in the locker room, I'm a better person because of those tough experiences. Although I still want to hit those people who call high school "the good ol' days".

With that said, I've often wondered, is it better to be in the "nerdy" crowd? Is it better to go relatively unnoticed and stay below the radar (most of the time)? I realize that girls, especially, can be mean and that being in the "nerdy" crowd may result in some really piss-poor experiences. However, here's what I've noticed after being on both sides - the pretty and popular girls are very often the most insecure. Because they believe they are "cool" because of their looks, they are very likely insanely insecure about their personality (saying the "right" things) and their appearance (wearing the "right" things) in fear that someone will suddenly realize they really aren't cool enough (the fact that I'm using the word "cool" probably dates me doesn't it?). I bet fully trusting your girlfriends is difficult when you've seen them turn on another friend at the slightest opportunity to have competition knocked off? There seems to be a lot of drama and stress that comes with being in the "cool" crowd.

Looking back on my experiences, although I wasn't in the "nerdy" crowd, at some points I was definitely in the girl people loved-to-hate (which is basically the same)... but the friends I did have were true friends. Friends who stuck by me through everything. Friends who didn't care what I wore, said, liked, anything. Friends, I knew, weren't talking about me behind my back but were sticking up for me. A lot of these friends were guys - I had the best guyfriends. Yes, I was insecure, I was a teenage girl. But I strongly believe I gained more confidence as an "outsider" because I realized quickly that I didn't care what others thought of me because I liked me (I realize I'm sounding like a "The More You Know" commercial at this point). Hurtful things were said and, I'm not gonna lie, those days sucked. But I'm better off having had the experiences I did than I would be had it all been easy breezy.

So, when I look at my own daughter, I'm conflicted. Do I want her to be the catty, popular girl who is mean, insecure, and dramatic but has it more "easy, breezy"? Or, do I want her to be the girl who gets picked on, has tough days but builds confidence, character and has great friends? Honestly, I have no idea. Originally, I had titled this post "Nervous about Nerdy" because I thought being popular would be "better" but now, having thought about it, I have no title for the post and I have no answer for what I would want for her. Obviously, I can't control the outcome. I can build her confidence, I can give her the tools to be a good person and guide her in the "right' direction but she'll choose her own path.

This is why I write. In the 45 minutes it took me to write this post, I completely changed directions. I had looked at that girl in the locker room and felt bad for her. I had thought about her Mom and how I would feel if my daughter didn't have the "easy, breezy" path. Now, I realize that it'll be hard regardless of what group Jane is a part of. Too see her be a "mean girl" would be just as hard, maybe even harder, than having her get picked on sometimes. God. It's hard to even think about that. It was hard for me to even type that. To think of someone saying something bad or being mean to my baby. Maybe I'll just keep her in the house for the rest of her life and never let her talk to anyone who doesn't love her already. :p This whole being a Mom thing is never going to be easy is it? My worries about poop and germs are just going to turn into worries about "mean girls" and broken hearts! I pray that those are my biggest worries... that we should be so lucky.

Nap Time In Pictures

10:05am - Just put Jane down for nap.
Check the monitor, looks like she's passed out so I
go to get myself something to eat.

10:10am - Upon returning from the kitchen -
"Holy Crap, where did she go?"... I ran upstairs.
Literally, heart stopped.

10:10am - Relief & laughter.

Could she be cuter? Personally, I don't think so!

Bring It On Boys!

I was out for my walk with Janey and had the funniest thing happen to me...

We live in an area with a lot of new construction, so there's never a shortage of slightly over-weight men in trucks. As I pushed Jane along today, two trucks passed me from behind. I glanced at the first and the driver, still wearing his hard hat, waved at me. Immediately behind him, in the second truck, a chubby man in a plaid shirt says "how YOU doin'". My initial reaction was a look of disgust, I mean YUCK, I hate it when men cat-call... and how stereotypical that it be two construction workers?!?! THEN, and within milliseconds, I started smiling, like huge smiling. WOOHOOO!!! I just had a baby 5 months ago... BRING IT ON BOYS! Beggers can't be choosers! I never thought the day would come that I would not only appreciate, but crave, the typically unwanted attention of construction workers! ha ha ha. Maybe I'll start wearing something sexy for 'um. ha ha ha.

Part of the reason this makes me so happy is that, kill me for saying it, but I half-believed my days of cat-calls and double-takes were over now that I'm a Mom. I don't know why... but I definitely didn't think I'd be getting hoots and hollers while pushing a stroller! YIPEE! I'll take it! :p

I've never been one to really put too much focus on my appearance. I take care of myself - workout, wear makeup when I'm leaving the house, etc. But I'm a jeans-n-t-shirt-pony-tail kind of gal. I can put on a good show every once in awhile - straighten my hair, put on eyeliner, a cute outfit - but I save that for rare occasions. If I did it every day it wouldn't be appreciated! :p This hasn't changed since Jane was born and has likely gotten "worse" in that I, even more rarely, have those "show" days. It's not that I don't have the time to do my hair and get dressed up. It's just that, if I'm given that spare hour, I'd rather be doing something else for me... get a bath, get a massage, go shopping, relax. I really don't want to spend it in front of the mirror, working! I especially don't want to waste it doing my hair as it's going back in a pony tail regardless of how "pretty it looks down"... I've got bald spots where Jane has grabbed onto and not let go of sections of my hair.

So, it made my day today, that I, in workout clothes, a pony tail, and make-up-less, got hollered at! In fact, it surprised me so much that, for a few seconds afterward, I worried that there was something on my butt or something funny that made them yell at me. But I was clear, it was just me. :D

Wishing you all some cat-calls and double takes,

Jen :)

A Year

Last Monday was one year since I found out I was pregnant. I'll never forget that moment - shock, excitement, anxiety, joy, worry, disbelief. Dan and I had only been trying for a month, it was a first go and BAM, success!

I didn't even think I was pregnant. I took the test because I'd never taken a pregnancy test before and thought I should practice! I came home from a trip to Toronto for the NKOTB concert (which was awesome btw) with a full bladder and thought "hey, why not give it a try now?". SO, I peed on the stick! I didn't even look at the legend to see what would indicate pregnant or not pregnant because I "knew" I wasn't pregnant... I mean, nothing had changed!

Obviously my mommy brain disability started as soon as the egg was fertilized as I had quite a few indicators that things had, in fact, changed. For two weeks before I took the test I had bad cramping in my lower belly, constipation (sorry, TMI) and insomnia. Three things I have rarely experienced. Two nights before I took the test, I was up the entire night at my Mom's house in T.O... I even woke up my Mom like a 2 year old asking her if she had something to help me sleep. THANKFULLY, I was thinking and didn't take any drugs but instead my Mom gave me a shot of brandy - apparently back in her nursing days that used to do it for the old folks! ha ha ha. My Mom's response immediately was "You're pregnant!" but we tossed that theory aside when she checked my belly and didn't feel any signs of little sweetie.

Back to the test... as I said, didn't check the legend. So when the plus sign came up right away, all I was thinking was "holy crap, what a poor design... what kind of test gives you a plus sign when you're NOT pregnant?!?! What happens if you are pregnant - streamers and confetti spew out the end of the stick?". Then I looked down and saw it... plus sign = pregnant. WHAT?!?! WHAT?!?! I mean, as much as you try to get pregnant, it's a totally different thing when it actually happens! So I did what any other respectable, grown-up woman would do in my situation and called my Mom who immediately said "go pee on another stick!". ha ha ha. Four "sticks", two different brands of tests and a google search on "false positives in pregnancy tests" later and we believed it. In case it isn't obvious - there is basically no such thing as a false positive on a pregnancy test (and definitely not on four of them).

I can't believe it's been one year. When I think about the excitement and fear that accompanied the realization that I was pregnant... I was a completely different person than I am today. I had no experience with babies. I'd never been one of those "got to hold 'um" type of girls who always seem to know what to do. People would ask me "are you ready for a baby?" and my response was always "I'm prepared for a baby, but how the heck can you be ready for a baby when you have never had a baby before?". Stupid question :p I don't even think you can be ready for a baby when you've already had one - they are all so different! But here I am. I look at Jane and it's hard to believe that she grew from a tiny cell inside my body! She's so perfect and beautiful and funny - I never could have imagined her in those first few days after "passing the test".

I can't believe it's been a year...

Jen :)

First Night in the Crib

So I decided last night that Jane would have her first night in her crib that night. We had slept fabulously the night before so I thought it best to give it a go after a previous night's great sleep... I was a MESS!

First off, I thought I had everything set up and prepared... her IPOD to play her "sounds of the sea", the fan, the monitor, the nightlight, etc. After I got her to sleep, I turned on the IPOD player and the IPOD was dead. Apparently, that IPOD would not charge in that player or some crap, so I scratched that idea which sucked as the white noise usually blocks out any noise Dan and I make coming and going, so she doesn't wake. Then, I turned on the monitor, turned on the fan, and closed the door to leave my "big girl" in her room for the night. As soon as I turned on the parent-monitor, all I could hear was fan. I hadn't checked if I could hear her over the fan! So, I turned off the fan. Then I turned on the air conditioner in my bedroom. I hadn't checked if I could hear her over the loud AC in my room. So, I turned off the AC. Then, I realized that this was the first time (more than 15 mins) that I'd be using the monitors. I worried I hadn't set them up properly or that they were defective. So, I locked Miko (devil-cat) in the basement so I could leave Jane's door and my bedroom door open - backup in case the brand new, highly rated, monitor failed! :p Then I realized that with Dan not being home (at frisbee) he would likely come home, make noise and turn lights on, not realizing her nursery door was open. So, I started with the post-it notes. I left one on the basement door saying "do not open, Miko is locked in here", three on the light switch to the livingroom (where I purposely left the lights on) that explained why Miko was in the basement, why our doors were open, why the fan was off, why the AC was not on, not to turn on lights or make noise and, lastly, to not pester me for being so freaked out about everything in the morning because I knew I was being ridiculous! I am very self-aware and completely realized I had lost my marbles over this little milestone. I also left a post-it on the fridge saying not to turn on the tv loud, just in case he didn't see the four other strategically placed, bright-pink, post-its. When he got home, the garage door woke me up anyways because I didn't have the "sounds of the sea" and AC noise to drown out the regular house noise. It also made Jane "stir". So, now, here I am in her nursery, it's 3 hours since she went to sleep, an hour since I fell asleep, she's whimpering but still sleeping and I'm thinking I might as well feed her now so maybe I'll avoid the 3am feed and she'll sleep until 5ish. She ate, we all went to bed and, then, I had a nightmare that something bad happened to her. After that, I checked on her anytime I heard ANYTHING through the monitor. Once, I heard the soother drop out of her mouth and onto the floor (a great sign because it means she's so deep in sleep she didn't need the sucky) and I got up to check on her! It was brutal, but I stuck with it. As much as I wanted to just bring her back in my room and put her in the cradle, I left her. And we'll do it again tonight. It has to be done eventually and, since I'm the only one suffering, it's not like it's going to get any easier if I try next week!

I got up this morning and, once she was chatty, tested the fan and monitor to see if I could hear her and it was just fine. I switched the IPODs so that I can now play her music for her again which will avoid me waking her when I'm checking on her hourly. :p Come 4am, I felt comfortable enough with the monitor that I started closing our bedroom doors so that will also help with the noise. I'm also thinking that the white noise in her room from the music and the fan will help drown out her smaller sleeping-noises which, of course, made me run into her room last night. So, we'll giv'er another go tonight. I know eventually I will be fine.

Anyone want to tell their outrageous stories similar to this to make me NOT feel like such a freak?!?! If you don't have stories, make something up! ha ha ha.

Jen :)
PS - Here's a pic of one of the post-it "stations" from last night...

Bitter-Sweet

I expected that having a baby would add new challenges to being married. So, I am not surprised that there are moments when I'd like to kill my husband and, I'm positive, vice versa. I decided to write this post after a disagreement on the weekend about the difference in our lives right now, and by lives I mean having a life vs. not having one.

What am I bitter about? Well for starters, how about the fact that pregnancy turned my body into a never-ending project? I have to lose weight, my boobs leak, I have pimples all over my face, my hair is shedding like a dogs, I have a new vajajay courtesy of le doc du jour, I am in a constant state of sleep-deprivation, I sweat like a singing Whitney Houston, etc. Obviously my husband has none of these issues. Secondly, and most dramatic of all our differences is the "life" situation. When I refer to "life" - I mean outside the house activities - sports, time with friends, etc. I think it's important that our husbands maintain parts of their life - we want them out of the house sometimes! :) My issue is this... I would like a little empathy, not sympathy, for the fact that it is nearly impossible for me to have a life right now and, aside from that, my life is so completely changed that having a life isn't even desirable as I know as soon as I leave the house to have this "life", I'll just worry about the consequences of me being gone - Will Jane get hungry? Will she cry the entire time? What if something happens and I'm not there? Husbands have it pretty easy. They don't have to worry about these things when they go out, they just go! I wish it was understood that not only is our new job as a Mom physically exhausting but it's also mentally exhausting... my mind will never be at ease again. I wish our husbands could just be us for 24 hours... that's the only way they can get it. I don't want to go off and do stuff on my own. The "life" I want now is doing things with my family. When I'm not given the time to have this life because my husband's life interferes, it's not a pretty sight.

What am I sweet about? Mostly that my husband is very willing and capable when it comes to taking care of Jane. I've been comfortable leaving her alone with him for a few hours since day one. He's a great Dad and so in love with his "little bug" as he calls her. He's also very understanding about most of the things listed at the beginning of the "bitter" side of this post, which makes it easier on me. He's always trying to make me feel beautiful, even when my hair is a mess (pretty much every day), I stink from sweating buckets all day, and I feel like a cow. His compliments usually get brushed off, but he persists, and he knows I appreciate every one. He's also made an effort to help out more around the house - cleaning, cooking sometimes, and being my third arm when I need it (can you get me a glass of water? can you pass that wipe? can you open the window?).

I had to write this post after my Mom, sister, and girlfriend all claimed to have experienced the "life" arguments and frustrations with their husbands. I would have thought, pre-baby, that the difficulties that would arise in my marriage would be more baby-related... who's on diaper duty, who reads the books, etc. It's hard to understand how much your life will change after your sweetie arrives, until it's hitting you in the face or, should I say, hitting you somewhere else! :p My advice on dealing with this challenge - find a way to CALMLY explain it to your husband (this is my problem - I am rarely calm) and talk to your Mommy-girlfriends! They will "get it" and they will give you the empathy that you need.

Jen :)

Dear Brain

Dear Brain,

I know there are no secrets between us, but we need to talk. Obviously I've done something to upset you as you are no longer consistently around when I need you. In fact, you seem to think it's entertaining to watch me struggle some days without your support. Perhaps you and my hubby are in cahoots together as he also finds this funny and enjoys reminding me that "this is how he feels all the time"... brainless? :p (sorry honey, couldn't help it).

There are days that you make a brief appearance and I am reminded that you do exist. It makes me miss you even more. For example... actually, I can't even remember the example I was going to use to illustrate my point so obviously today you have decided you're on hiatus again.

I wish I could fix whatever it is between us that has caused you to be so distant. It's been almost a year now since I got pregnant and you decided I was no longer worthy of your assistance. Why? Was it that suddenly you were over-worked with all the new worries and "need to knows" that came once I realized I was having a baby? Did you feel under-appreciated? Or were you angry that so much energy was being devoted to building my new little love-bug vs. in increasing your own capabilities?

Regardless of reason, despite my stubbornness, I am here to apologize... not knowing what I did wrong (which further proves that, without you, I am more like a man than I would like to admit). You have been with me when I needed you the most over the past three months, however, I'd like you back for good.

Love always,
Jen :)

PS - I've included a picture from the weekend I found out I was pregnant. Perhaps it'll remind you of what we used to look like together ;p

To Pee or Not to Pee

That is the question... actually not so much a question as a challenge! :p

The topic of this post came to me as I lay on the couch, sweet baby Jane asleep on my chest, dying to pee and unable/unwilling to move! ha ha ha. The number of times this has happened to me since Jane was born, I cannot count.

In fact, my sister let me know I am not suffering alone while we were on vacation. She told me the funniest story of her own experience being trapped with a full bladder... Similar to my usual situation, Nancy was lying the couch with Lucy sleeping on her chest when, of course, it suddenly struck her that it was time to go! She told me that the combination of being unable to move in fear of waking Lucy and the urgent need to pee actually resulted in her having the following thoughts...

"What if I just peed on the couch? Rob (her husband) would be so pissed and, for sure, everyone would find out. What would his parents say when we had to buy a new couch because I peed on it? Maybe a new couch wouldn't be so bad... maybe I could blame it on Lucy... nah, I'll just wait!"

I died as I knew how she felt. The biggest adjustment to being a new Mom is realizing that your life is no longer your own. You become a completely selfless person as your life revolves around keeping your babe happy and healthy... a side effect of this is that you lose control over even the most mundane activities that would once have never even required a second thought. I mean, pre-baby, who of you ever had to think "I wonder if I can go pee right now"? ha ha ha. Similar concerns would be - can I have a shower today? Will I get to eat lunch today?

Obviously, these things get easier as Jane gets older. Once she passed the 3-4 week mark, I no longer had to worry about getting most everything done, except the peeing... the being able to pee is still an issue! ha ha ha.

To those Moms-to-be, start building up the storage in your bladder now (actually, I'm not so far post-pregnancy that I don't realize this is impossible)! tee hee hee.

Jen :)

Dear Boobs

Dear Boobs,

First off, thank you. It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that you, after 26 years of basically doing nothing but costing me extra dough in bras, are now nurturing my baby Jane. It's so strange when I think that there's MILK coming out of you! MILK! I mean how weird would it be if I could cut a piece of tenderloin off my thigh or pick apples from my hair?!?!

I think I shall name you as it suddenly feels necessary as you've each taken on a personality of your own. Left boob, you will be called Bertha... as you consistently engorged yourself and end up squirting Jane in the face every time she feeds from you. Right boob, you will be Bessie... because you are fairly well behaved and slightly smaller than Bertha! ha ha ha.

I realize you owe me nothing after the sacrifice you've made since I got pregnant... you've grown, changed colour, been chewed to death and are basically unrecognizable to me from my pre-pregnancy tah-tahs. However, I'm a woman and "if you give a mouse a cookie"... so, what I'm asking is not a simple task and may, in fact, be impossible. Here we go - any chance that, when I'm done breastfeeding, you could not deflate too such an extreme that I have to get larger pants so that you can be tucked into the waistline? I think it's going to be hard enough to get my sexy back without having to worry about picking my boobs up off my lap when I stand up.

Sincerely,

Jen :)

Labour Bag Update!

One of my "followers" (sounds like a cult :p) gave me the great idea to update my labour bag list post-delivery, giving you what I used, what was useless and what I needed!

Here's the original list - with my comments and additions! Warning - extra long post, sorry!

1) Labour Bag:

• Slippers and a housecoat for walking around the hospital - wore the slippers up until pushing time, my feet were freezing. Housecoat = useless, I was "cremating" post delivery.
  
• Socks to keep your feet warm - useless, bring slippers only.
  
• An old nightie to wear during delivery (or wear a hospital gown) - hospital gowns were nasty, plus you had to wear two to cover your rear... my nightie was perfect.
  
• Toiletries - lip balm, headbands, hair elastics, etc. - essentials, esp. lip balm!
  
• Digital camera (don't forget to charge your battery) - duh!
  
• Your birth plan (discussed in my next Baby Prep post) - would have been great had anybody bothered reading it! Mention it out to each doctor/nurse who tends to you...
  
• Snacks and drinks for your hubby/labour partner. - essential.
  
• Hard candy for a dry mouth - My mouth was so dry from early labour to delivery - these were a blessing! Stick with basic flavours though... at one point Dan's green apple breath made me nauseous... never seen him spit something out so fast! ha ha ha.
  
• Your health card and insurance information - again, duh!
  
• Sweater for hubby - room gets cool as Momma gets hot! - Unnecessary for us - the excitement of it all kept Daddy nice and toasty ;)
  

2) Post-Delivery Bag:

• 2 nursing bras - necessary.
  
• 12 breast pads for when your milk comes in - not really necessary until your milk comes in. Although, if your nipples are sore, having a pad in your bra hurts less than the bra directly on your skin.
  
• 24 Sanitary/maternity pads - hospital supplied for us, otherwise, essential.
  
• 2 nighties - easy for beastfeeding and allows easy access for nurses to check your vajajay! ;) - essential, lived in these. Again, hospital gowns = nasty.
  
• Lots of old undies (your "period panties") - our hospital has these sexy mesh "panties" (picture the worse grannies you've ever seen). Regardless, they work and prevent you from ruining your own. Bring a few pairs anyways.
  
• Toiletries - essentials only (you don't need makeup)! - don't forget Daddy's stuff, like I did... he did smell great in my mango-tango deodorant ;)
  
• PJs and change of clothes for Dad - see above. Oops. :p
  
• Calling card and phone numbers of family/friends - we were allowed to use the cell so the calling card was unnecessary.
  
• Money - for snacks, parking ($35 parking @ IWK), etc.- Yuppers! Esp if you're going to get delivery/take-out, etc.
  
• 2 pillows in coloured pillow cases- Essential, @ least 2.
  
• Pens for completing post-delivery paper work - Sure.
  
• Going home outfit - something loose and comfy. You aren't leaving the hospital as Giselle Bundchen! - I left the hospital looking like I ate Giselle, I was about the size I was at 20 weeks preggers... if that helps.
• Breastfeeding pillow - so you don't have to use the one behind your head!
• Books, magazines, etc. to keep you busy when you're not sleeping (which is the entire time you're at the hospital).
  
• Phone numbers/menus for your favourite delivery/take-out places - hospital food is gross and you deserve some spoiling.
  
• Lanolin cream - in case your nipples are sore.
  

3) Baby's Bag:

• 12 newborn diapers OR 3 dozen if hospital doesn't supply diapers. - Hospital supplied for us, although they were like diaper nazi's - only giving us 5-6 at a time!
  
• Diaper cream - vaseline, zincofax, etc. - Hospital supplied.
  
• 3 onesies and 3 sleepers - Bring some newborn and some 0-3 mths... Janey was a big, long, girl and didn't fit any of the newborn stuff we brought for her.
  
• 2 receiving blankets (warm blankets if winter) - Good for bringing her home, hospital had blankets that we used while we were there.
  
• Take home outfit - Not a priority for us... Jane wore whatever we brought that fit her! ha ha ha.
  
• 2 pairs socks or booties and a hat (season dependent) - didn't use.
  

Having 2-3 separate bags was helpful and definitely made it easier on Dad. As I said before, your purse is useless... leave it home. Leaving your bags in the car is likely a great idea. In the excitement of early labour, heading to the hospital (finally), etc. I could totally see how you could forget everything at home!

Feel free to comment and toss in anything you found useful that I missed!

Jen :)

Operation: Get Bun Out of Oven

Seeing as I've basically tried all of these - all at once, upside down and backwards - I thought I'd give my opinion on natural labour inducers:

• Nipple stimulation - Refuse to give this a try despite hubby thinking it's a great idea (surprise, surprise)! Nipple stimulation releases oxytocin which may cause contractions. Problem is, you need to play with your nipples for an hour, 3x a day. PASS!
• Castor Oil - OK I lied. I haven't, nor will I, try all of these. The laxative effects of castor oil may stimulate the uterus. No thanks! Plus, that would dehydrate you - not good pre-labour.
• Sex - Gave this a shot but we were pre-emptive in our strike. Persuading hubby at this point is impossible... too uncomfortable with the baby being "right there". Why it may work - prostaglandins in sperm can ripen the cervix and orgasm releases oxytocin, the contraction hormone . Worth a try!
• Spicy Food - Complete nonsense unless the above theory re: castor oil proves true. Did nothing but give me heartburn.
• Walking - If this was true, I'd have given birth 20 weeks ago. I walk every friggin' day trying to get this baby to engage and stimulate my cervix... ZILCH!
• Exercise Ball - My hubby watches the ball with concern every time I bounce on it... as if it's going to pop and take down the house! :p Bouncing supposedly helps get baby into the right position. Personally, it just makes my back feel better.
  
• Membrane Sweep - I've had two sweeps so far and nodda. It's apparently effective if you're cervix is already preparing - can stimulate labour within 48 hours and decreases your chance of going overdue. They can be painful but mine have been OK so far. Having a 3rd tomorrow at docs appt. Pray for success! This is the only natural inducer I'd put my money on.
  

There are tons more about teas, curries, pineapple (WHAT?), etc. but, personally, I think a lot can be written off as coincidence. Fact is, we try these wives tales around our due dates when our body is already set for labour. Naturally, whatever we did just before our first contraction, we will credit with "stimulating" labour. With that said, if I go into labour today, I'm writing a paper on how blogging about labour inducers induces labour... I'll be rich and famous!

Jen :)

PS - New poll started yesterday on your biggest newborn concerns - check it out!

Top 10 To Make You Laugh :)

Morning!

Today is my pick for baby's birthday and, so far, I'm losing. Instead of being grouchy and writing a whiny post, I thought I'd provide you with a little entertainment... I've been keeping track of things my hubby has said that have gotten him in serious trouble during my pregnancy. God love him, he's truly a sweetheart and would never intentionally hurt my feelings but sometimes he's clueless... he is male after all! Check it out...

Ten Things Your Hubby May Say That Are Justifiable Cause For Murder:

1. "Maybe it's because you're eating so much" - when I'm freaking out about my newly acquired "muffin top" during my first trimester.
2. "I'm glad you're getting bigger! Otherwise, I wouldn't even know you're pregnant" - during first trimester, when I had 3-5lbs on!
3. "God, you're hormonal" OR "I guess this is you NOT being hormonal again" - during an argument, while he's laughing.
4. "I can't feel anything" - when you're so excited because you're finally feeling baby move. Men need to learn when to lie to us and say "Oh my god honey, that's amazing".
5. "You're huge! But only in the belly!" - He actually thought this was a compliment.
6. "You're as big as a house" - I had to laugh when he said this because it's true!
7. "Babe... that doesn't fit anymore" - as if I don't realize that my jacket can no longer zip up!
8. "I'm allowed to, I'm a man!" - TMI alert... said while discussing why it's OK for him to fart (with pride) but unappealing when it happens to me because I have 30lbs of baby stuff pushing on my intestine!
9. "You're belly isn't popping anymore, you're just growing horizontally" - ha ha ha, priceless. Apparently, he meant my belly itself is getting wider, not me, but it didn't go over well!
10. "I just don't get that excited about clothes" OR "Are they all pink?" - as I'm showing off all the sweet onesies and sleepers I just spent all day shopping for.
    

Hope that gave you a good chuckle... it still makes me laugh! Have my weekly docs appt tomorrow so I'm excited to see if there's any change in baby's willingness to join us sometime soon!

Jen :)

PS - MOmMy bRaIn is #9 on topbabyblogs.com today! This has helped me reach a "bunch" of other Mommies so I really appreciate it! Keep voting!