Apr 10, 2012

i'm a sucker

Ambitiously, I woke up yesterday thinking - I'm going to start eating healthier this week. Post-easter guilt. FAIL. Too much chocolate in the house, combined with exhaustion = PREGNANT WOMAN HELL.

Here's why I'm exhausted and why I'm a sucker... any advice, as always, is appreciated. Keeping in mind that I'm exhausted and a SUCKER!

Jane's been waking up again throughout the night. I remember during my first pregnancy sleeping horribly and thinking "well, this is my body's way of preparing me for a new baby". Well, maybe, this is Jane's way of preparing me for a new baby??? ARGH! OR, for making me age 10 years in four nights.

I have NO IDEA how it started, usually I can trace it back to something I did (seriously, it's pretty near always my fault because, being the mom, I'm pretty sure I have the most influence) but I have no idea how this started... she's waking up several times throughout the night to get me to "tuck her in". She must toss and turn throughout the night and then, of course, the blanket gets kicked off, she gets uncovered and needs to be tucked in. I'm 99% sure she's not getting cold, being that she sleeps in fleece jammies and her room temp is set at 20+ degrees (Celsius for my US gals).

So, here's the first thing I did - get her new jammies. Because along with the tuck-in issues, she's been complaining that her old jammies are "bothering me". So, new jammies. Check one. Except, I didn't put them on her last night because they are cotton and I was thinking that the fleece ones might keep her asleep because, if she did lose the blanket, she'd still be warm. FAIL. She was up like 100 times last night. Between 1:11am and 2:47am, she was up pretty much every 10 minutes I swear... and not doing what she usually does when she wakes up - talking, singing, laughing - she was SCREECHING. At first, I was nice, calm, soothing mommy. But, by 2:21am, I was GRUMPY, DON'T F WITH ME MOMMY. And I left her to cry. Calling out to me. Begging me to tuck her in. Heartbreaking. I left her for like 15 minutes. If it had calmed down, I would have been satisfied with my efforts. But it escalated. Jane rarely escalates. I HATE that she was calling out for me. SERIOUS GUILT. Anyways, I failed miserably at that tactic and ended up, 15 mins in, going in - very, seriously grumpily - to tell her no more crying and that this was the last time mommy was coming in and I wasn't tucking her in anymore because she was a big girl and big girls didn't cry unless they were sick or scared!!!! ARGH!! GRRRR!!! I was grumpy... So, it might have been a very stern conversation. To which she responds in her quietest, sweetest, voice....

"I just need some help sometimes... My hands are too little."

If my heart could have been stabbed repeatedly with a blunt object it would have hurt less than the guilt I felt at that moment. Am I a sucker? I have no idea. But she got me. BIG TIME. My hands are too little. I just need help "sometimes". She says "sometimes" at the end of a lot of her sentences... and it just made it that much sweeter. ARGH. I felt like the WORST MOTHER EVER. My hands are too little. OUCH. Sorry. I wish I could have taped it for you - you would be dying like me right now.

So, we changed her into her new jammies and, guess what, no more wake ups. EFFER. I suck and I'm a sucker.

Seriously, if this kid is taking me for a sucker, then she's the smartest two year old on the planet because she knew exactly what to say to turn grumpy, pretty-well-yelling, 2am mommy into a lamb.

I'm going to start her off tonight in the new jammies and combine that with prayer for a good night's sleep. I can't handle the guilt or the exhaustion.

Someone remind me again how I'm supposed to do this with TWO in four months?? At least the newbie can't tell me that she "just wants to be snuggled and held because I'm just a baby and I need my mommy" when I'm trying to put her in her crib for a nap... that would suck. Maybe that's why it takes babies a year or so to talk - gives the Moms a break period where we don't have to suffer through the guilt of what they are really thinking!

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Stephanie Raphael said...

I hear ya Jen on the sleeping issues :(
We put Jax in his big boy bed last month and my great sleeper went out with the crib! i often get a little visitor to my bed in the night now. As hard as it is, I have just been very consistent and always promptly walk him back to his room and say goodnight and leave. I have to admit, Im not very nice in the middle of the night. So Im in and out of his room and in about 30 seconds. Im also trying to make it less enticing for him to come get me in the night.

I can imagine the mommy guilt though when she said that to you!! Awhile back, I put Jax to bed at the beginning of the night and he cried out over and over for 10 minutes- "dont leave me, Jax LOOOOOVE Mommy, dont leave me, Jax LOOOOVE mommy" Like where does he learn to say something like that, in that way?!!!

I swear they must all convene somewhere and figure out how to manipulate us!!!!

Hope you get more sleep tonight- stay strong and stay consistent!

Jen said...

Thank you for this Stephanie - definitely gives me more "balls" next time to think that, yes, the little monster is capable of totally taking me for all I'm worth! :p ha ha ha. They truly are the world's best manipulators aren't they! Darn cutie pies!

Kim said...

Oh Jen - I am the biggest sleep sucker ever! I know how hard it is when the guilt kicks in but hang tough. I was never able to do it and I am thinking maybe Anna would still not be getting up some nights if i had been tougher but oh well - haa! Last week she came in 2 nights in a row but I just go in her bed cause Mama needs her sleep - haa! I have a new strategy for when they are bigger - we told her the Easter Bunny would not come if she came in my room - haa!

My technique when I was pregnant and Noah was a baby was that I sent Mark in to handle the situation - haa! I am sure he just got in bed with her but at the time we were in preservation mode and did what we had to do!

I am a sleep sucker - Noah cries out one time and I am in to get him and most nights I probably only get 5 hours sleep. But before I know it they will be out till midnight and I will be up pacing the floors - so I consider these years my training period!

Hang tough and I am hoping for a good nights sleep for all! xoxo

Jen said...

Oh Kimmie,
I might owe you my sanity - I implemented the sleep fairy tactic and am hopeful for a full night's sleep tonight. ARGH. Pray for me! :p

Kim said...

Yayyy - the sleep fairy! Anna LOVED the fairy and she worked many a miracle for a full night's sleep for us! Thank God for the dollar store - I spent so much time there during the sleep fairy days! haa!

Good luck - crossing my fingers for you!

Raising Cains~ said...

Quincy rarely wakes up now (and i'm sure by saying that i've cursed myself to no more sleep until hes 18) but when he does I always just go up, get him and being him in bed with us. It rarely lasts two nights in a row, I can't take crying babies :/ lol.