Sep 21, 2009

Whining About Weaning

So, on the last crib update things were going great... here's the latest:

I was so tired come Friday that I set up camp in Jane's room. After that fabulous night #2, she went right back to 3 hour sleeping intervals... I think. By "I think", I mean that it's quite likely that, because I had to go into her room to give her her nummy (pacifier), I assumed she was hungry and fed her at 3 hour intervals when I could have just given her her nummy and gone back to bed. It's a catch-22 because I was thinking "well, I'm already in here - maybe if I feed her now, I'll avoid the 2 am feeding" and so on. Not the case.

I went to a house-warming party Friday night with Jane (and by party I mean I arrived at 6pm and left at 7:30pm :p). I swear to God I "cried" 45 times because my eyes were burning so badly from being exhausted that I couldn't open my eyes completely without them watering. Awesome.

I know what the issue is... Jane is dependent on her nummy fall asleep. It's my own doing and now I have to undo it. According to some books, I am using the nummy right as Jane will suck on it for 5-10 mins when she's first falling asleep and then spits it out. But according to other books, the ones I hate right now, because she needs the nummy to fall asleep, when she wakes during the night (as we all do), she wants her nummy so she can fall back asleep and, THUS, I am having to get up 4-5 times in addition to 1-2 feedings to give her her nummy - sometimes twice in 5 minutes as she'll start to fall asleep, drop the nummy and then get upset because she doesn't have it anymore!

So, come Friday, I realized I couldn't let myself get more tired and I set up camp in Jane's room. It's actually quite comfortable - I took the down mattress topper off our guestbed and folded it on the floor. I'm sleeping great! ha ha ha. In fact, last night, I had my first DREAM (vs. nightmare) about "The Rock" (that hot I-used-to-be-a-wierd-wrestler-but-now-I'm-normal-and-hot-as-heck guy).

The last three nights I've focused on catching up on my sleep but, now, I need to start working on the nummy problem. According to the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" books, what I need to do is let her have the nummy when she's falling asleep, while she's sucking hard on it. Then, once she's almost asleep I should take it out and let her continue falling asleep without it.... apparently, eventually she'll be able to fall asleep without it. I don't know about this as this is kind of what she does on her own anyways. I'm not into the "let her cry it out" method, so as much as I love and respect those of you out there who have done it, I know I won't be able to do it so don't bother. :p According to "The Baby Whisperer", I should just go in and soothe her by patting her back (which makes no freakin' sense to me at all because this baby whisperer chick says to have babies sleep on their backs, then she says her solution to everything is to gently pat them on the back)!! Makes no sense. I tried to combine these methods yesterday during naptime... I took out Jane's nummy after a few minutes and she fussed for it so I tried to shhhhh her and rock her but she just got more and more worked up and I wasn't about to let her wake up over it so I caved and gave her back her nummy. And won't she get dependent on this if I start soothing her that way? I need help here.

Anybody got any suggestions? I don't need to wean her from the nummy completely, just to break the association she has with the nummy and sleeping.

Thanks and love you guys as always! I have the BEST "followers"!

Jen :)

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Mandy Jo said...

Oh man did we go thur this at the Campbell House Hold! A doctor told me to cut a slit in the nummy that I give her at night and it would be less appealing to her..I did and it worked. Not overnight but it did work.

Meredith said...

I obviously have no suggestions yet, but your comments about The Baby Whisperer crack me up! So true...

Lindsay said...

Sorry, I don't have any suggestions ... I'm nursing A to sleep and he's only usually waking once a night to feed (plus, won't even consider sucking on a soother!).
But just had to laugh at the "back to sleep, but pat on the back to soothe" conundrum. I remember thinking that seemed ridiculous when my daughter was little ... how is it supposed to work???
Obviously, never figured it out ...

Anonymous said...

Hi Jen!

It's Angie Rafuse...I don't have an account on here so just selected "anonymous"!

Anyway, based on my reading of "The Baby Whisperer", since the pacifier is a "prop" used by Jane to fall asleep (Caiden's prop was us rocking him!), you have to teach her to self soothe and fall asleep on her own by first using Tracy's "Four S ritual" - Setting the Stage, Swaddling (I use a bunting bag instead of a blanket since we are not suppose to use blankets), Sitting, and Shush-pat. This ritual will help Jane learn to self-soothe.

If you don't teach her to self soothe, you'll never have a good nights sleep! With the shush-pat method, I know that it's kind of confusing (i.e. back to sleep while patting back!), but what I do is roll Caiden over on his side and pat his back while holding his chest...when he finally does fall asleep I gently put him back down on his back. However, lately, since he's able to roll over, he usually ends up rolling over on his belly anyway (which is nothing to worry about per the books!) so I've just been leaving him on his side.

If patting her back while she's in the crib doesn't work (i.e. she's still crying), you can pick her up and do it over your shoulder and once you feel her relax and calm (she can get drowsy but don't let her fall asleep), you put her back down. If she crys again, and patting her while in the crib doesn't work, pick her up again!

If the shush-pat doesn't work and Jane is over 4 months old, then you can use her "Pick up/Put Down" method which is a middle-ground between the "cry it out" and the "no -cry" method. I used it for Caiden when he was about 5 months old, and it only took 3 days to get him to fall asleep without us rocking him. Although Jane WILL cry with this method, you are NOT leaving her alone, so she won't feel abandoned and your bond of trust will not be broken.

Hopefully this clarifies some stuff for you! Good luck!

kristie said...

Ok....not that my knowledge goes very far beyond yours...because you read WAY more than I ever have or will...but heres my 2 cents!

Sucking the num is clearly her "S" as it was for my little man also...and still is.

I always gave him back the num and eventually he slept with out it. He wasn't as reliant on it as Jane appears to be but, as she sleeps more soundly I think she may need it less.

Parker still sucks with out the num in his mouth now!
I think she is just a sucker :) Between your boob and the num she just finds it soothing so I'm not sure what you can do to break it...all I can do is tell you that Parker was quite similar but now can sleep without it.

Remember Jen she just made the big move to her new room so she is likly still adapting to her new environment. The num addiction may get better on its own babe just bare with her!
Miss and love you xoxo

Barnali said...

I just found a site which is producing sleeping-aid for babies in very unusual forms. They have recorded the soothing continuous sound of 'hair-dryer', 'heart-beats' and 'waves' and make available for download. They are thinking to sell them on CDs also. You may personally visit the site to know it better.