Ant Beater

I hate bugs. Hmmm. Let me be clear. I hate bugs in my house. Yes, I was one of those weird kids who had a bug farm...

Sidetrack. Two funny stories about my bug farms...

(1) I had gotten a "bug hotel" for my birthday or something (basically a "fancy" screened in bug holder). So, immediately, I captured my first bug hotel guest, named him and bonded. It was going to rain that day so, to protect my new friend, I put him in the BBQ. Long story short - my Dad cranked up the ol' BBQ for dinner and POOF, bug hotel and new best friend fried. My Dad has the worst memory but he'll never forget that story because I was totally traumatized... I mean, the poor bug. He didn't have a chance! :p

(2) My sister decided to hop on the bug farm train... she was totally not hard core though and only joined the club because she found this really cute fuzzy black and yellow caterpillar. She bragged and showed off that caterpillar like crazy. So, we're sitting in our shed and she's got her fancy caterpillar out crawling around. She has to pee. She basically warned me if I hurt her caterpillar, I would die. Over and over, before she ran to the house, she reinforced not to touch, pick up, step on, squish, etc. HER caterpillar. Running back into the shed from the bathroom, she steps on it. ha ha ha. Priceless.

Ok, back to the topic of the day... Ants. I hate ants. Oh, I hate them. Just when you kill one, another one appears. Then, I think, hmmmm, if I leave some ant carcasses around maybe their friends will find them, realize this is a bad news type of place and tell their friends and they'll all leave. I hate killing them. Every time I kill them I think of that sweety Anty from "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" and my heart hurts a little. Regardless, I squish them every time.

Here's my problem. We've always got food on the floor. I have a 11 month old baby who LOVES to clear off her highchair with one swoop of her arm. It's ant heaven. So, how the heck do you get rid of them?

I did some research. Obviously, I was not going to use pesticide. Would kind of defeat the purpose of using all natural cleaners and such if I decided to spray pesticide all over my house, non? I found out some interesting things about ants. Apparently, there are hunter ants or some crap that go out looking for food or water and leave a trail for the other ants to follow. So, first of all you have to get rid of the trails. WTH? I used vinegar. Apparently vinegar (or a vinegar-water mix) is good for this. I thought, POOF, gone, done, finito (sp?). Not the case. Next day, anty and his friend are back. YUCK!

Then I went outside and found their home. Please be advised, the following paragraph contains content that may be disturbing to some viewers. :p So, I researched and found out that if you mix borax (my favourite laundry detergent ingredient and great household cleaner) with a bunch of sugar and leave it in a "dish" for the ants, they will bring the sweet borax back to the nest and it will kill them all. So, I got an old sour cream container, filled it with 1/2 sugar, 1/2 borax and put it next to the ant hill. An hour later, I decided to check and see if the ants had found my sweet treat yet and nothin'. Not one ant was near my trap. So, in typical "I have no time for this nonsense" style, I poured the mixture over what looked like the top of the next. POOF. I haven't seen an ant since. I know. I feel guilty just saying it. Perhaps, because I blocked off the top of the hole they just found somewhere else to go and didn't actually all die a horrible death?

Regardless, wanted to share these little tips as I know I can't be the only Mom out there with a crumb covered home.

Happy weekend! :)

Smooth-ease

Finding nutritious and well-balanced meals and snacks for Jane is one of the hardest things I have to do during the week... especially considering she (1) will only eat finger foods (2) hates all vegetables besides sweet potato and peas and (3) never seems to be hungry.

My solution, this week, is smoothies. I got this idea from a playdate friend, Kathy-Ann, who is always full of great tips and who I'm always stealing recipes from. Previously, I had never considered making a smoothie for Jane but DUH, awesome idea! My first thought, similar to the homemade purees I was making, is that I could "hide" veggies in smoothies by masking their flavour with sweet fruits. And that's just what I've done.

Basically, the first batch of smoothies I made, I just threw in whatever frozen fruit I had in the freezer with some steamed carrots and homo milk. Then, I threw in some infant cereal... I remember hearing "don't mix infant cereal with milk and put it in a bottle" when I was first introducing solids to Jane. Don't ask me why not, I have no idea. Regardless, this gave me the idea that adding some infant cereal to the smoothie might be a great way to sneak it in and, also, to fill her up (in hopes of a good sleep - the ultimate goal of everything we do some days :p).

The results? Success. Jane loves smoothies. YIPEE. She's eating. Food. Nutritious food! YIPEE! And carrots - even better!

So, now I'm thinking about recipes!

Here's one I made yesterday that she loved (dragged her sippy around with her for a half hour):
1 Banana
2 Oranges, peeled (obviously)
1 cup frozen mango, thawed
1 cup steamed carrot
1/2 cup canned pineapple, in juice
1/2 cup infant cereal, dry
3/4 cup homo milk (or as much until you get a good consistency)

Blend it all up, and make sure it's not too thick. First, I tried giving it to Jane in a regular glass but that was a pain because I had to stand there feeding it to her and it would have taken forever. Then, I took one of her sippy cups, took out the "no spill" thingy-me-bobber and filled it up. Does the trick and the smoothie is thick enough that unless thrown (which it likely will be) it doesn't spill every where anyways. If you're lucky enough to have a dog, like me, you don't have to worry about spills - this is basically the only reason my dog is not on craigslist right now! :p

The recipe makes a ton - so I just saved the rest in a ziploc container in the fridge. I wouldn't use it past a day or two because I have no idea how long it's safe for - any ideas?

I know Kathy-Ann and, hopefully, some others probably have some pretty fab recipes - so please share by commenting! So far, I've only experimented by sneaking carrots into the smoothies but I'm sure there's lots more ideas I've yet to realize. :)

Weigh-in Wednesday

It's over. Almost a year later, it's over. I never thought it would take me a year. I mean, I heard that old saying "it takes 9 months to put it on... blah blah blah" and I was like YEAH, HAH, 9 months to take it off my a**, I'll have it all gone in a few weeks. Arrogance is beautiful isn't it.

Regardless, I'm done. No more WIW posts. I'm over it and I'm sure y'all are tired of hearing me go on and on about a few pounds and how I need to exercise more and how I am addicted to chocolate and all things bad for me, and so on and so on. I will say that the three biggest weight lose busters for me this year were (1) being home all day without a car (most days), (2) exhaustion and (3) stress. Combine any of those and the result, for me, is a binge-fest where I contemplate the possibility of eating so much that my stomach explodes. Is this possible? I mean, yes, your stomach obviously has some heavy duty stretching power - but what if you just kept eating? Where does it all go? I wonder this about Jane sometimes because when you look at those stupid baby books, they say that baby's stomach is the size of a grape at this age, and then the size of a plum, and so on... well, if my baby's stomach is only the size of a plum, why is she drinking an 8oz bottle? :p I'm crazy, I realize. I'm pretty sure my life would make a fabulous reality tv series if, and only if, they could somehow manage to pull the thoughts directly from my brain with some super mind reader thingy-me-bobber. The things that go through my head are ridiculous sometimes.

Anyways, back to the weigh-in nonsense. I put on my old favourite, black dress pants (size 5) today to see how I was doing (pre-scale) and, well, they fit. Are they appropriate for work? No. More like appropriate for hitting up the clubs and there's no way I could sit down in them or I'm pretty sure the butt-seam would rip but, hey, there's like a bazillion girls wearing pants like this walking around thinking they look great, so why not me! :p ha ha ha. Hey, there's even guys (Jonas Brothers much?) wearing too-tight pants nowadays. Perhaps it's just my bodies way of telling me to be more trendy.

Here are the final side-by-side shots of week 1 and goal reached.

And for my hubby, a butt pic... :p

Ok, I have to go take a break now. My life is incredibly insane right now - I have no time (thus, neglecting the blog) and I need to force myself to take some time for me today.

xoxo

Are You Ready to be a Mother?

I was sent this yesterday. Usually I don't even read these types of emails but, this morning, I was bored and I'm glad. This is so true. I've often felt it was strange that we need licenses to drive, hunt, etc. but any crazy can have a child?!?! What's with that?


If you're a responsible human being, you should put yourself through several of these tests to see if you are ready for parenting... trust me, these lessons are more true and relevant than anything in any book. For me, the following would have helped prepare me:1, 2, 3, 5, and especially 8.

ARE YOU READY FOR MOTHERHOOD?


Lesson 1:
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the newspaper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2:
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their.
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breast feeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behaviour. Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
My addition to this one is to get used to people doing the same to you - because very often parents who have kids older than yours (and forget the "early days") or parents who have kids younger than yours (and don't know what their in for) will do this to you as well.

Lesson 3:
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel.
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
My addition? Have someone wake up with you each time and tell you "my baby has slept through the night since day one", bragging to you as they go back to sleep. That'll help you from hitting people in the future. ha ha ha. :p

Lesson 4:
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out.
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favourite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5:
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.
My addition... all morning? Fine when you're one maternity leave - but time allowed when you're back to work is much less, I'm sure. Try doing it in five minutes. 
Second to that? Fill a diaper with a jar of baby food prunes. Try to put it on your dog or cat. This is what it's like to change a poopy diaper on a 10 month old plus. Trying to get a poopy diaper off a wiggling, flipping, moving baby is more impressive than cirque du soleil.

Lesson 6:
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7:
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8:
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
My addition: Take a jar of baby food, a flexible spoon and sling shot some food onto your ceilings and your walls. Leave it there for two-three hours (which is how long it would probably take you to get around to it with a baby). It will dry. It will be impossible to remove without stripping your paint. I still have dried prunes on my wall from 6 months ago.

Lesson 9:
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10:
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11:
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.


Hope you enjoyed! Mom's to be - if you find this scary... here's the truth of it. All of the above "challenges" and "annoyances" are wiped out within seconds by any of the following:
(1) One big smile
(2) A giggle
(3) A hug or kiss
(4) An "I love you Mommy" 
etc.


Happy Monday!

Time for Milk?

When is it time to transition from formula/breastmilk to cow's milk? I've read on babycentre.ca that after baby's first birthday, it's fine to start introducing Homo (full fat) milk and transition off the iron-rich formulas/breastmilk. 

Right now, Jane usually has four feedings of milk per day. Two (breakfast, bedtime) are formula and two are breastmilk. Any nighttime feedings are breastmilk because I don't have the energy to go make a bottle at 3am. :p Even with only half-formula (and I'm using powdered Nestle Goodstart) it's not cheap (in all fairness, I'm used to spending $0 on baby milk). Typically, I go through one large can every three week-ish, and it costs about $30-ish CDN. Once I am working again, Jane will be on 100% formula... or cow's milk? This is my question. I was thinking, instead of switching the two breastmilk feedings to formula feedings, could I transition those from breastmilk to cow's milk? Then, I could move the formula feedings to cow's milk. This would be a whole lot cheaper - I think? 

What's everyone's experience with this? What do you recommend if you've done it? Did you also switch to using only the sippy cup or are you using a bottle still? Or, are you using something else altogether? What brand are you using? HELP! :p 

"Weaning" is going a lot easier than I expected. I thought it would be harder on me but I've been doing it so gradually that, both physically and emotionally, it's not been a challenge. My boobs are hilariously smaller than 6-8 months and I'm pretty sure they haven't kept up their end of the bargain (see here) and I'm going to need some serious help from Victoria's Secret once this is all said and done. I will say that the smaller tah-tahs are making me feel skinnier... bigger bosoms definitely don't work on me (although Dan would disagree).

Your tips-n-tricks, as always, are appreciated. Who needs "experts" and books when I have you guys!

Two things - did you see Oprah yesterday? Yes, I know, I'm one of those embarrassing "Twi-Moms"... every time I start to forget about my love for those novels, a new movie comes out and I get crazy again. Oprah is really speakin' my language this week - Tommy Boy's on Friday (I know he's crazy but I've loved him since I was 10 in Top Gun, you never forget your first love) and Will Smith next week! :)

Having a Date Night this weekend? Check out Date Night... Literally. Movie with Steve Carrell and Tina Fey. Aside from several minutes of Marky Mark shirtless, there's a scene in that movie (involving a strip club) that almost made me lose control of my weak-post-baby-bladder. I have not laughed like that in a long time, uncontrollable. It may have been the glass of wine beforehand but, regardless, priceless.

Party Planning

Y'all know, I'm a planner (technically an over-planner) and that I love projects. I probably spent two-three times more time planning my wedding than the average bridezilla. I love planning parties like that - decor, creative foods, coordinating everything. I'm a total geek.

As we began to near Jane's first birthday (yeah, for me, "near" meant 4 months in advance), I started researching ideas and thinking about planning her birthday party. It was then that I realized that I will get to do this every year! Every year I get to think of themes (or, when Jane's old enough, she'll pick the theme) and go all out with creativity and nonsense! This is awesome! And, in three or four years, I'll get to do it twice a year (assuming we have another baby sometime). YIPEE!

Some people (maybe most) are not into it. I get it. However, I have a little Martha Stewart in me (I wish that little bit was also just a little bit loaded rich like her too). I've already showed you pictures of the "cake" I plan to do for Janers. I also designed my own photo invites as well (combining my party planning geek with my computer geek). Part of the fun of planning for me is that, if you're good (and start early), you can save a ton of money! I started the whole bday planning process because I came across a huge sale at the grocery store on Disney Princess Party supplies (plates, cups, streamers, etc.) a few months back. Then, Easter hit and, just like last year with my baby shower, I waited until post-bunny to pick up a bunch of pink and pastel-coloured candy (M&Ms, etc.) that will perfectly coordinate with my Princess theme. Will anyone notice? Who cares! I will, and that's all that matters! It's like when you lose 5 lbs - does anyone else notice? Probably not. But you know and you walk taller and feel like a million bucks because of it. This is exactly how I feel about coordinated decor (I know, I'm SOOOOO cool). ha ha ha. Perhaps, I have a little more "Monica" (Friend's reference) in me than just the whole anal-cleaning thing.

My biggest challenge so far is who to invite? I was thinking just my family, a few close friends and that's it. It's hard - because it's a "party", I'd like to invite all our friends (with kids or not) just to hang out but I don't want to invite them and have them bring gifts. Not that I assume they would... but you know what I mean! Obviously, my family would bring gifts and we'd have Jane open them. So, I don't want two things to happen (1) people to feel like they should bring a gift or (2) people to not bring a gift and feel like an idiot when she's opening her gifts. Maybe I'll just write an extra note in those people's invites and say just that... don't bring a gift, don't feel stupid, just come if you want! :p ha ha ha.

The other thing I'm curious about is the "birthday dress"... I have the cutest birthday dress for Jane (will obviously post pictures once the day arrives). So, during the party she can wear that. BUT, during the cake eating time, there's no way in heck she's gonna wear the dress - if she already doesn't have it stained by that time I'll be in shock. So, I figure I'll just change her into the "Birthday Girl" T-shirt that I already got her and let her go mad.

As far as gifts for Jane, I'm trying to keep to a budget so I'm buying a lot of second-hand stuff. I'd rather get a bazillion second-hand things within my budget vs. getting only one brand new thing. I mean, she'll have it filthy rotten by the end of day anyways. So far, I've taken your advice and gotten a bunch of Fisher Price Little People sets. Any other suggestions? I want to get her things that she will enjoy now and in a few months. I feel like she's really bored of all her Christmas toys at this point.

Thanks for the tips in advance!

Weigh-in Wednesday

Mother's Day. Ate pasta three times. Made cupcakes. Ate cupcakes. Ate several cupcakes. In one day. For several days. Promise to end this nonsense next week.