Mar 12, 2012

complete nonsense as always...

I have nuthin' to say...

I have no idea why I'm so tired today but I'm pretty well the living dead. Which is just fantastic seeing as I have my manager coming to work with me for two days tomorrow - thankfully, he is wonderful and I know I'll get energy just from the adrenaline of wanting to be great for him. Regardless, I figure, come Thursday I'll be near zombie in species. :p

I can tell you this past tense now because, I am a freak and way too crazy to tell share this with the world of creepers out there, but Dan was away all last week for work (AGAIN). And, then was in a stupid tournament all weekend - I hate sports. I was grumpy with him on Saturday morning for it because (shocker) I was tired, and as much as I love spending time with my monkey, doing it alone, when exhausted, and pregnant is sometimes overwhelming - mostly because I can't be the mom I want to be. I can't be the energetic, playful mom I typically am, which bugs the heck out of me.

THEN, to make me feel EVEN WORSE... I wake up Sunday morning in a state of shock because (1) I can tell from how bright it is in my room that it's late in the morning and (2) I can't hear Jane's monitor making noise. Like ANY noise. I reach for it and see it's off. O.M.G. I turn it on. No crying. Singing. She's singing. I run into her room in panic, regardless. She's still in bed (hallelujah, mission - don't dare get out of bed, still accomplished) but she's taken everything she could reach around her bed and obviously played with it and is laying back, just hanging out. Only Lord knows how long she'd been awake. Which broke my heart because, of course, I am thinking she must have been thinking that her mommy and daddy (who were out for a date night the night before and told her "we always come home") must have been big fat liars and not come home. I'm literally killing myself with guilt. Meanwhile, my near three year old, is singing and laughing. This is the definition of being a Mom - our expectations are so much higher for ourselves than what our children have, or need, of us.

She went to bed last night, at regular bedtime, despite the time change... due to me breaking the rules (just once with severe discomfort and fear) and allowing her to skip naptime yesterday. It was successful - except for the 30 mins before bed where she was pretty much the devil here on earth - and she fell asleep no problem. Phew! Of course, then, she wakes up at 1am for - what appeared to be no reason at all - and stays awake, on and off, for an hour. Which means preggers mommy is basically awake for a couple hours.

Anyways - this is your boring, useless, post for today. I love you and I apologize but I have three MOmMy bRaIn DEsiGN orders to take care of from today - woot, woot - the new business is going WELL! If you haven't checked out my shop, go for it! Cause I love you so, I'll give you 15% off - coupon code, MB15OFF.


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