Feb 2, 2010

Sedan or Mini-Van?

I'm not buying a new car... I don't have a job, remember? :p

Now that I've had my first baby, the comment/question I get all the time is about "the next one" - "time to have another now eh?", "when are you having the next one", etc. As soon as you're in a committed relationship, the questions start...

Committed relationship - "When are you guys getting engaged?"

Engaged - "When you are guys getting married?"

Married - "When are you guys having babies?"

Baby (singular) - "When are you having the next one?", "How many are ya going to have?"

I got this last question a few weeks ago from my Dad. My answer was unchanged from my childhood dreams of having "two kids and a golden retriever". :p If I had a golden retriever right now, I'd be giving it away cause Molly weighs 8 lbs and drives me crazy enough as it is! I've always wanted two kids. I think mostly because I grew up with one sibling in the house (two "step" brothers who were older). It was great growing up with someone to count on and someone to play "work" and barbies with. I want Jane to have that same companionship.

Then he asked me a second question, "if money weren't an issue, how many kids would you have?". Hmmm - would I want a sedan or a mini-van? I never really considered that. I mean, right now, in the real world, I can't imagine having more than two kids because of the expense of it. I want my kids to grow up like I did - having everything they needed (need being key, not want, need). We were spoiled but not so spoiled that we were "spoiled rotten" - big difference. Spoiled is getting the things you need and some "surprises" but appreciating them. Spoiled rotten is getting more than you deserve and expecting it... and throwing a tantrum if you don't get it (these kids drive me bananas - actually, scratch that, the parents of these kids drive me bananas).

My answer? "More than two". If I were wealthy, I think I would have more than two kids. I didn't know how much I would love being a Mom and, obviously, you can never know how much you will love your children, until they arrive. More money wouldn't make me want more kids just so I could "spoil" them but also so that I could hire help. I don't think I'd want a full-time "Nanny" as I don't think that money would change the fact that I want to spend all the time I can with my kids. But someone to help with the nonsense - cleaning, shopping, massaging (oops, did I say that out loud :p Come on people, I'm living in the dream world here). And, perhaps, this person would give me an hour a day to myself... to exercise (HAH, yeah right), or get a bath, or read a book, etc. Is that a Nanny? I don't know what a Nanny does exactly (ok, I know they don't give massages, but that's it).

With that said, I don't think I'd have 4 or 5 kids, even if I was rich (not judging, that's just my thought). I think 3 though. When I was at the docs recently, there was a Mom there with a 9 month old little boy. She was a little older, obviously. After chatting with her for a second (that's all it takes with Moms), she mentioned she had two other children - an 18 year old and a 15 year old. I looked at her shocked (I mean, this 9 month old had to be a "surprise"). Her response to my lack of composure? "I missed having a baby in the house. I missed being completely needed and depended on." Huh. I get it.
Everyone's got different reasons.

So, I'm interested...

How many kids do you want (or have)?

Does money affect your decision?

Interesting thought. Actually, it makes me kind of sad. It sucks that money dictates my life (or our lives) as much as it does.

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Catrina said...

Even after you have another one they still ask if you will have another or when you have another. I have 3 girls and got a "surprise" and found out we were having another. But even with the 3 girls we were constantly being ask are you going to have another or when are you going to have another. We were uncertain if we even wanted anymore.
I know what you mean about spoiled rotten children, my oldest is that way, when she was an only child her grandparents gave her everything and anything she wanted, they ignored me and my husband, when we said to stop because she was going to get spoiled and they said oh no it won't happen, yeah and now I have to deal with the tantrums because I am not going to buy her something just because we left the house. So its not always the parents fault. We were never like that, they don't need toys or gifts all the time that is was birthdays and Christmas is for.

Jessica said...

I swear to you, I have something so similar to this on my to write about list. How funny! We are wanting a Tahoe so bad...but I don't see that happening. Anytime soon! At all!

Steph R said...

It is sad that money can dicate decisions like this!

As for a nanny.... lol .... i was one for eight years and I think what you want is more of a household manager! A nanny mostly just looks after the kids with perhaps some light cleaning and meal prep. A household manager does more cleaning/errands, running of the household etc.

Angelene said...

Well, we did go for a new car! We got a 2006 Pathfinder and it's great! It is awesome in the snow and fits Abby plus all the gear and groceries!

Morgan Cain said...

we strongly considered stopping at two, but just felt like our family waesn't QUITE complete. I know we won't be able to get the "family of 4 package" for Disney World and I really should move up from an SUV to a (cough) van for more room, but I wouldn't change having my 3 kiddlets for the world =)