Dec 15, 2009

Stuck Between a Rock & A Hard Place

Janers get hers H1N1 shot today and, as y'all know, I'm not 100% sold on it. But, as the title says, I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and this isn't the first time I've felt that way since becoming a Momma.

The battles that go on in my brain over what to do somedays results in complete insanity... I'm sure it contributes to some, if not all, of my Mommy Brain moments because I just don't have the brain capacity to have pros and cons lists constantly generating at the same time that I'm trying to do menial tasks like living life! As usual, I had to look up "menial" to make sure I was using it in the correct context - Surprise, I am a genius! :p

Regardless, the worried Mom in me won out over the skeptical Mom this time and I'm getting her vaccinated. I was fairly sold on the vaccine until my last trip to the docs when I made the mistake of talking to another Mom in the waiting room. She told me her girlfriends baby wasn't the same for a week after the vaccine... not what I needed to hear. That was the seed that grew the doubt in my mind that I might be doing the right thing. Then the doc says "she should come back for the H1N1 vaccine and her seasonal flu shot in two weeks" - so I'm like "TWO VACCINES?". I'm still going to question him on her need to get both vaccines. The only reason she's getting the H1N1 is because I don't know how I would survive if something happened to her because of the flu and I could have prevented it - do you think I could write MB from the mental hospital? I'm sure, if nothing else, you guys would be entertained.

The only other time I can really think of where I felt this rock-hard-place same way was when I was overdue and was going to be induced (see my feelings here). I didn't want to prolong my pregnancy too long because I was worried about the consequences for Jane. At the same time, I was worried about the consequences for Jane of being induced because I felt like she should come out when she was ready. It was a battle, thankfully, that was a wasted effort as the night I wrote that post (link above) I went into labour and, in between my moans and groans of pain, I was thanking God!

I'm sure you more experienced Mommas out there are saying "Get used to it girly" because I know this is likely the story of my life for the next 20 years at least.

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