why i love daycare

I've been thinking about writing about daycare for a long time but needed the inspiration. I found it this morning. It's timely. First, because my sister's just recently decided (after being back to work for a month and barely working a full week due to sick kids) to get a nanny and pull the girls out of daycare. Secondly, because this decision, led to questions from my daycare-friend-moms about whether I ever considered doing the same.

Short answer. HELL NO.

Do I understand the benefits of nannies? HECK YES. We had a live-in nanny growing up (because we were loaded rich - LIE - my mom was a nurse and my dad worked for the city), and she was AWESOME and I turned out freakin' amazingly. :p Do I judge you for keeping your kids at home? NOPE. Do I worship you for having the balls, patience, energy to be a stay at home mom? UNDOUBTEDLY. I couldn't do it. Working makes ME a better Mom - the time I get with Jane is SO precious, so valued, that I am always present - I mean not just in the room! (ok, not always, we'll say 95% of the time - I'm pregnant for crying out loud, I'm only 60% present in this world at any point because the other 40% of the time I'm in la-la-land).

So. Daycare. Oh, the controversy. So many people for, so many people against. Drama, drama. All nuts if you ask me. With everything, I say - DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU - and judge not what works for others. Or, at least, keep it to yourself. :p

Jane's been in daycare since she was 12 months old. I remember our first visit to the daycare when Jane was maybe a week old for our tour. No idea why we went on the tour this early but we did. MISTAKE. You know what you're like a week after your first child is born... um, can we say bubble wrap? Walking through a daycare, envisioning your one week old there, is a little challenging... I hated it. I think I cried because I couldn't imagine every dropping my BABY off to this crazy, dirty (not really but it's daycare! There's crap everywhere!), insane place. Little did I know that 12 months later, this is what my house would look like. :p Twelve months later, I was happy to drop her off. She was a walking, talking, silly monkey and I couldn't keep up with the mommy guilt that I faced daily because I worried I wasn't doing enough to help her develop, that I wasn't doing enough to keep her busy, that I was just passing each day away, waiting for the day to be over instead of enjoying every moment.

Since then, she has blossomed. She is learning SO MUCH. She has close friends that she loves, and I love, that have been with her since the very beginning. It's consistency. It's routine. It's peace of mind for me.

I remember last Spring, driving in the car with her. I was trying to teach her how to count to 3.. So, I'm repeating over and over "1... 2....3.... can you count to three Jane?". She counts to ten behind me and I near go off the road. So. Here's a confession. I didn't teach my daughter to count, daycare did. I also didn't teach her her ABCs, daycare did. I reinforce these things at home and, by God, Dan and I have taught her a lot, but THIS is why I love daycare. The teachers are educated child experts - they know what your child is capable of before you do. Good teachers reinforce the lessons you are teaching at home - manners, discipline, potty training, everything.

But here's the key. You have to build a relationship with the teachers. If you don't talk to them, if you don't tell them your concerns, your priorities, everything, then how the heck do you expect them to get the best out of your child? Every morning I drop Jane off, I talk to her teachers. I tell them if she had a good breakfast. I tell them if she slept well. I tell them what kind of mood she's in. I tell them if she's been doing well with using the potty. Anything I can tell them that will help them better understand my child, I do.

Aside from what Jane learns, it's how she's developing that I love. I can give a lot of credit to daycare for this. Jane was a little shy when she was younger. She still is with adults a little but, with kids, no more. For example, this weekend we went to this family roundup at a local farm. Jane immediately gravitated to another girl her age, trying to talk to her, playing with her, and running to sit with her when we went in to eat. She didn't hang at my side. When her friend went to a spot at the table for lunch, Jane went with her friend, not with me. I loved it. I was so proud of her. I was so happy to see Jane confidently approach and try to make friends with another child. It was one of those "my baby is grown up" moments. Daycare exposes Jane to different kids all day long, all the time. Yes, she is in a room with pretty much the same 11 kids every day. But, every once in a while, a kid leaves, a new one comes, and everyone has to adjust. Plus, when they are outside playing, there's a ton of kids of all different ages. It makes me so happy when I show up to pick Jane up and see her playing and talking to another kid who I don't even know! :)

What I also love, that I know others hate, is that every 12 months or so, the kids are moved to a new room and, thus, get new teachers. Is it an adjustment, yes. But, do I feel like it's beneficial? HECK YES. Fact is, Jane is spending as much time at daycare as she is at home. So, the people who are teaching her and in the "teacher/mommy/guardian" role are having a huge impact on who she is, who she will become, what she learns, etc. Do I want one person impacting who my child becomes or a variety of people? Personally, I like a variety. Jane learns something new from every one of the new personalities and styles of teachers that she has to adjust to. I love that she will be influenced by many different people over the course of her four years in daycare. If she spent the day with someone just like me, then she would turn out just like me, and as perfect as I am, I don't know if I (or Dan) could handle another person just like me! :p tee hee hee. I also feel that this structured change is a great preparation for school which, scarily, is just right around the corner. Not technically. But, time flies! Once this baby in my belly is in daycare, Jane will only have ONE YEAR left of daycare before she starts SCHOOL! OMG, OMG, OMG. Don't even get me started on how I'm not going to handle that.

So those are the main reasons I love MY daycare. I've heard horror stories. I know it doesn't work for everyone and for every child. Are there things I don't like about daycare, yes. There are things I don't like about chocolate - the calories mostly - too. But I still prefer it. :)

I wish I could see what Jane was doing all day. Once. Do I think the daycares with webcams are smart? Nope. Sorry. I bet the parents think it's great when they sign up. To me, checking in on a snapshot of your child's day is inaccurate and just plain crazy. Imagine the guilt if you check in an see your child crumpled on the floor, screeching? HOW DARE THEY! WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY CHILD! What you missed was your child whacking another child across the face with a toy. A snapshot is not accurate or fair, in my opinion, although I understand the draw of feeling a part of your child's day. There are sometimes I wish I could see how Jane was interacting and what types of things she likes to do during the day. But, often, when I  pick her up, I'll watcht her as long as I can before she sees me and I get a glimpse of this. Sometimes it's good - when she's singing or reading stories to her friends. Sometimes it's bad - like when she's crying in the corner BECAUSE she's just been disciplined for flooding the bathroom by leaving the sinks on and spraying the water everywhere (tee hee hee).

K, cutting myself off. I'm pretty sure I've been writing for an hour which means this post is super, extra, way-too long. Face it, you don't tune into my blog for a short, concise blurb....

PS - Coming tomorrow - a guest post from a real, live, daycare teacher - I'd say one of the world's best, in my opinion - with tips for surviving daycare and getting the most out of it for you child!

C'est La Vie

As I mentioned before, it's time for me to start looking for a new job. For those of you who don't know the back-story, I lost my job as a sales rep during a mass layoff when I was five months preggers... bit of a drag, I know. For the first few hours post "the phone call", I'll admit, I was disappointed, angry, stressed, upset. However, I quickly realized several things:

1. In fifty years, it's unlikely that I will look at this as a defining moment in my life. This will not be the worst, or likely even one of the worst, things that I will ever have to deal with throughout my life, unfortunately.
   
2. I am so lucky. I have a husband who loves me, a beautiful home, a fabulous family, a great education, health, and, most importantly, a healthy baby in my belly.
   
3. Change, although sometimes scary (as heck), is exciting. It may result in a few rough spots here and there but, eventually, you'll understand the "whys" of life's challenging moments.I looked at losing my job as an opportunity. An opportunity to spend some time getting to know myself even better, to find out what I'm passionate about and go after it.
   

Two things turned my perspective around. Firstly, earlier that week, a girl who attended the same high school as I did was killed walking across the street. Takes my breath away when I think about it. Life is so fragile. Obviously, most of us often take things for granted sometimes - it's our nature. In the hustle and bustle of life, we forget to take a minute to enjoy the small things. We could sit around getting punishing ourselves for that or we could take those moments when we can or when we remember. I can tell you that since becoming a mother, the things that make me happy are a lot simpler than they were a year ago (a smile, a giggle, a burp, a babble) and I pride myself on being present for these moments and taking them all in, knowing they won't last forever. The second thing that changed my mind was that little sweetie nudging me from the inside. I knew that I would never remember this year as "the year I was laid off". This would be the most amazing, special, unforgettable year of my life. Nothing could change that.

Here I am a year later. Time flies. I remember in those first few weeks after Jane was born dreading going back to work... thinking I couldn't do it. Yes, I would love to spend every minute with Jane for the rest of my life. However, I would lose a lot of who I am doing that. I admire every stay-at-home-mom as it is more than a full-time job and you deserve more praise that I have time to write today. With that said, having a career and being successful inside and outside the home has always been a priority to me. I look forward to getting out of the house, meeting new people, completing projects I'm proud of... wearing heels again (WOOHOO).

Writing this blog and your amazing feedback has helped me realize that I want to flex my creative muscles more in my work... it's helped me remember what I'm passionate about. Being a Mom has helped me realize that I can do anything. To those Moms out there with new babies, you are likely feeling insecure and worrying about how you're "measuring up". Give it time. After a few months, you realize that not only is your baby healthy and thriving but he or she is happy and that's because of YOU. Take credit for it if you can - it's often hard for us women to say "I'm a great Mom" as we're often very self-critical. Try to anyways. Being a Mom is the hardest job on the planet and we're rocking it.

Ok, I definitely have to go now. Time for my heels! YIPEE!

Note: Two new giveaway winners posted in the sidebar this morning - Warm Buddys and Little Star Greetings (original winner did not respond in time). You have seven (7) days to get back to me with your info.

Also, American Girls, if you haven't entered our Bright Starts Giveaway, you're nuts. Literally, nuts. :p