Mar 9, 2010

C'est La Vie

As I mentioned before, it's time for me to start looking for a new job. For those of you who don't know the back-story, I lost my job as a sales rep during a mass layoff when I was five months preggers... bit of a drag, I know. For the first few hours post "the phone call", I'll admit, I was disappointed, angry, stressed, upset. However, I quickly realized several things:
  1. In fifty years, it's unlikely that I will look at this as a defining moment in my life. This will not be the worst, or likely even one of the worst, things that I will ever have to deal with throughout my life, unfortunately.
  2. I am so lucky. I have a husband who loves me, a beautiful home, a fabulous family, a great education, health, and, most importantly, a healthy baby in my belly.
  3. Change, although sometimes scary (as heck), is exciting. It may result in a few rough spots here and there but, eventually, you'll understand the "whys" of life's challenging moments.I looked at losing my job as an opportunity. An opportunity to spend some time getting to know myself even better, to find out what I'm passionate about and go after it.
Two things turned my perspective around. Firstly, earlier that week, a girl who attended the same high school as I did was killed walking across the street. Takes my breath away when I think about it. Life is so fragile. Obviously, most of us often take things for granted sometimes - it's our nature. In the hustle and bustle of life, we forget to take a minute to enjoy the small things. We could sit around getting punishing ourselves for that or we could take those moments when we can or when we remember. I can tell you that since becoming a mother, the things that make me happy are a lot simpler than they were a year ago (a smile, a giggle, a burp, a babble) and I pride myself on being present for these moments and taking them all in, knowing they won't last forever. The second thing that changed my mind was that little sweetie nudging me from the inside. I knew that I would never remember this year as "the year I was laid off". This would be the most amazing, special, unforgettable year of my life. Nothing could change that.

Here I am a year later. Time flies. I remember in those first few weeks after Jane was born dreading going back to work... thinking I couldn't do it. Yes, I would love to spend every minute with Jane for the rest of my life. However, I would lose a lot of who I am doing that. I admire every stay-at-home-mom as it is more than a full-time job and you deserve more praise that I have time to write today. With that said, having a career and being successful inside and outside the home has always been a priority to me. I look forward to getting out of the house, meeting new people, completing projects I'm proud of... wearing heels again (WOOHOO).


Writing this blog and your amazing feedback has helped me realize that I want to flex my creative muscles more in my work... it's helped me remember what I'm passionate about. Being a Mom has helped me realize that I can do anything. To those Moms out there with new babies, you are likely feeling insecure and worrying about how you're "measuring up". Give it time. After a few months, you realize that not only is your baby healthy and thriving but he or she is happy and that's because of YOU. Take credit for it if you can - it's often hard for us women to say "I'm a great Mom" as we're often very self-critical. Try to anyways. Being a Mom is the hardest job on the planet and we're rocking it.


Ok, I definitely have to go now. Time for my heels! YIPEE!


Note:
Two new giveaway winners posted in the sidebar this morning - Warm Buddys and Little Star Greetings (original winner did not respond in time). You have seven (7) days to get back to me with your info.

Also, American Girls, if you haven't entered our
Bright Starts Giveaway, you're nuts. Literally, nuts. :p

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2 comments:

Jenny said...

What a wonderful post...I am a fellow Jennifer/well Jenny.
I was also laid off when I was 7months pregnant and I was so scared. I love working!
But I am a Personal Trainer so I knew I would be able to have some flexibility too.
Going back to work is such a hard decision but you are right, I think it makes us better mommies and gives us our own identity.
Thanks for starting the Jennifer group! Following you now!

My Life As Mom said...

I am a stay at home mom and I think you're right. Often times, we, as moms, forget to tell ourselves that we are doing better than we think we are. We criticize ourselves and wonder if we're measuring up to the super mom that we know down the street.

Thank you for making me realize that.