Dec 2, 2009

Weigh-in Wednesday

You know what? When these last 10 lbs are gone, y'all are in store for some major self-lovin'!

How many times did my Mother say to me "if I had my time back, I would have worn my bikini every day when I had a body like yours"?... and I'd brush her off thinking she was just trying to make me not hate my body so much. I feel I have the right to say this now because I have had a baby and my body isn't the same nor will it ever be... but I had a pretty fab body before all this! I mean, I didn't have six-pack abs or buns of steel, but it was all good!

Of course, however, I criticized the hell outta myself enough that I had convinced myself that I always had "five pound to lose". What an idiot! If I had my time back, I would have worn my bikini every day! And I would have been like those teenagers nowadays... posting pictures of it on Facebook for all the creepers to gawk at! Well... maybe not but still, you get my point.

The part that kills me most about it all is that I've been all different sizes. I was tiny, tiny until grade 12. I actually used to do some modeling locally... don't tell anybody that cause it's super embarrassing. I was 5'8" and 107 lbs. Course, I had no boobs or hips at that point either. Then, in grade 12, I got hips and boobs and weight like 130lbs... until the end of grade 12 when a diet of peanut butter toast and popcorn put me at like 145lbs. When I left for University, I had gotten down to 142ish (it's sad that I remember all this isn't it?). I was feeling pretty hot until in the middle of learning a frosh song-and-dance routine my new jeans split up the ass (I haven't told that story to too many people). THANKFULLY, I was wearing my frosh t-shirt which was huge enough that I could run up to my dorm room and change my pants before the entire residence saw my bare a**. Not surprisingly, by the end of year one of university, I was like 165lbs. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to put a mini freakin Bulk Barn (bulk candy bins for those of you who don't know what BB is) in the residence cafeteria? I managed to lose 20 lbs over the summer and was back to 145ish by the start of year two... which is where I stayed pretty much until the end of university (cept for that few month period when Dan and I first started dating and I didn't realize that eating Mcdonalds with him at midnight would make me gain 5 lbs). Two to three years into our relationship, I finally started accepting my body and, funnily enough, dropped a few pounds to get to 137ish... my current goal weight. I got to 127lbs for my wedding but that was due to working out like a crazy person and eat healthy (not fake eating healthy, like really eating healthy - protein shakes and everything, YUCK)... I told my hubby right then, enjoy this body tonight cause it's going bye-bye tomorrow! :p

So now to the point of this post... does it really take putting on 38 lbs of baby and dealing with the consequences of the post-baby-bod to appreciate what we had to begin with?

Like I said, hold on to your ego-meters because once this extra insulation is gone, I'm cracking out the bikini... ha ha ha, that's a hilarious thought. Cause I know what will happen... what always happens. I'll get to my goal weight and still think "I have 5 lbs to lose" and the cycle will continue.

Here are my stats for this week:
Starting weight: 157 lbs
Current weight: 148 lbs (vs. first year university, I'm TINY!) ha ha ha
Pounds lost: 9 lbs
Pounds to lose: 11 lbs

Jen :)

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Jordan Mills said...

I know exactly what you mean, there's always 5 more pounds to lose, or we're never fully satisfied with our bodies. I remember when i was 16, i was 5'9 and weight 120 pounds..and yet i thought i was fat. sad isn't it?

Laura said...

I'm right there with you. We women are crazy to be so hard on ourselves. I wish I had taken more pictures of what I use to look like because my new hips will never let me be that girl again. It's okay though. I've learned to love myself and deal with the not so perfect parts.