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Smonk You is a hilarious blog written by Kenny, a soon-to-be-Dad, about his thoughts, fears, basically everything as he approaches Daddy-hood. Just checking out his about me section will give you a glimpse into his straight-forward writing style which is sure to make you crack up!
I asked Kenny to do a guest post for MOmMy bRain as I know we have quite a few "followers" who are preggers or going to be and getting a peak into the brain of a soon-to-be Papa is refreshing... it's nice to know we're not alone in our fears and worries! I know you'll enjoy!
In about 8 weeks, if I'm doing the math right, my wife Staci and I are expecting our first child. So that means that we found out she was pregnant 7 months ago...it was the 4 week point. That's a bit weird to me because I never really understood the math of pregnancy. I always thought it was a 9 month pregnancy but in reality it's 10. This is one of those weird things I think you should learn when you're growing up.
Since we got married we had a 5 year plan to start trying so for 5 years our parents nagged us when we'd have them. We were pretty right on with that date by getting pregnant about a month before our 5th year anniversary. It was perfect timing for me too as there was no way I was ready for this before.
So much has changed for me in these 7 months. I started off as a guy who was totally afraid of kids...I still am a bit as I hid from them at an office Halloween party. You see I never had young kids or babies around when I was growing up and people were smart enough not to let me baby sit.
I've gone from being totally freaked out to feeling pretty okay. I went from totally freezing when kids tried to talk to me to actually starting conversations with them. I don't think I deserve medal for this, I would accept one if given, but it was a huge step for me. Today in fact I found myself in 3 different conversations with 3 different kids in my wife's classroom. Two years ago when I'd visit her classroom I just sat around hoping no child would talk to me.
So I got over a little hurdle but there are still more to go. Now instead of fearing kids I have new fears. I have no idea what to expect when our baby comes. I'm kind of expecting it to be a bit like M.A.S.H. or, since it was just Thanksgiving maybe I should say it I see it as the WKRP Turkey Drop...well meaning but total chaos.
My fears of talking to my child and his/her friends have changed to the more immediate fears of what fatherhood will be like.
I've always been freaked out about the whole neck thing...that babies can't hold their head up. That's one reason I never wanted to hold friend's kids. I thought that if I didn't hold a child right then it would flop back super fast and break the babies neck...but I have learned that nature is smarter than me and I'm a bit wrong about how that works. The soft spot on head really creeps me out. Again I have a bit of an irrational fear as I think something can drop onto my babies head and puncture it.
I've also become strangely over protective of our child, even though it's not born yet. I realized it when I was totally irrational a day or two after Staci told me she was going to let some of the kids in her class hold the baby. They are super interested in the pregnancy and excited to see the baby when it's born. My first thought was absolutely not. Even though I've been around super young babies when I think of holding them I think of them in that super squirmy age...whenever that is. So I thought we'd have this 4-6 year old standing up with my squirmy child who would soon be dropped on it's soft head and floppy neck. Then she let me know they would be sitting down with the baby in there lap only for a minute or two. Still I was adamant that it shouldn't happen. Then I remembered seeing pictures of all my friends with two or more kids...there is always one of the older one holding the younger one...I was just being a fool.
I'm already thinking of what will happen if we have a girl. I used to joke that I'd be that scary dad when boys come over, because if you met me you'd know I wasn't intimidating. But when I picture myself with a teenage girl I do think I'll be that scary dad. I was talking to a friend of mine about boys vs girls and dating. I would be so scared that my daughter would date a loser guy, but if I had a son I'd be less worried about him dating a loser girl. I know that's probably a terribly old fashoned way of looking at things, but that's where I'm at right now.
It's just crazy weird....pregnancy is so long and I realize that for a guy to say that it might not be fair. But dads don't have the physical worries and changes so I think we have more time to worry about ridiculous stuff. I'm in that idle hands period. I can't wait until our baby is born and I'm in that M.A.S.H. period were it's utter chaos, a bit of a triage situation and funny to people watching. There will be less for me to think about because I'll have immediate worries...does the baby need to be fed? Is it's diaper dirty? what was that noise? Why isn't it sleeping, have I slept? Where are the bottles? Are they clean? Are there clean diapers? What day is it?
Eight more weeks until those questions are asked, answered and asked again.
Visit Kenny's blog, Smonk You, @ www.smonkyou.com. Make sure to vote for him on TopBabyBlogs.com to show him some love! Thanks again Kenny!
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