Oct 6, 2009

Dissecting Daddy @ 4 Months - Part 1

Thought after three months, Dan might have some new insights for the other new Dads and Dads-to-be out there! Enjoy :) If you're new to MOmMy bRaIn, check out my previous Dissecting Daddy posts.

I've broken down my questions into two categories this time, Jane questions and Relationship questions... I'll post the relationship questions tomorrow. :)

Jane Related Questions:

Jen: Since you last DD post 3 months ago, what has been the biggest change in Jane?
Dan: Her biggest change is that she’s more aware and intelligent. For example, when you show her a suckie and put it near her mouth she’ll open her mouth waiting for you to put it in. If she’s done with it she’ll use her hand to take it out deliberately. She’s a smart little bug.

J: What is your biggest challenge as a new Dad and how are you/will you overcome it?
D: My biggest challenge is using the time I have with Jane to its fullest. I get home from work around 5pm and Janey’s bedtime is around 8pm. That only gives me about 3 hours to spend with her. So I just have to value this time as much as possible. That’s why I’ve started going on the nightly walks with you guys and joining you for bath time. I leave my other night time activities for after Janey’s bedtime.

J: What have you excelled in?
D: I’m not sure if I’ve excelled in anything. Maybe Jen should answer this one.
J: You're great with Jane. You're definitely getting a lot better at "reading" her. She went through this development growth spurt at around 2 months and, for a little while, you were having a hard time knowing what she wanted - food, nap, entertainment, etc. You've adapted to her now and you're able to quickly figure out what she might want. This is awesome for me as I have complete peace of mind when I leave her with you to go out for a little bit.

J: Right now, my thoughts are on Jane’s sleeping habits, worries about flu season, and trying to make sure she’s having fun and being stimulated when she’s awake. What are your thoughts and concerns right now?
D: I find myself worrying about you more lately. Since you’re working with half a brain lately (sorry, but your site IS called Mommy Brain hunny) I find myself thinking about things for you more than I have in the past. But for Jane I mostly just worry about not dropping her :p
J: You suck. :p ha ha ha. Despite my lack of brain power, somehow I am completely able to keep myself and my sweetie alive and happy each day.

J: You obviously have confidence in me as a Mom as you let me do a lot of the decision-making when it comes to Jane. Is there anything I’m doing that you disagree with, that wouldn’t be a priority to you, etc.?
D: The reason I’m able to not worry about much with Jane is that I do have so much confidence in your care for our girl. There’s been a few things here and there that I’ve disagreed with but I just bring it up with you. Once you finally realize I’m right then everything is good.
J: You're hilarious (sarcasm). Even when you're wrong you switch it around on me to make it seem like you suggested the right thing... like I'm too mommy brain-ed to notice!

J: During the past three months, we went on vacation. Part of that vacation had you separated from Jane for a whole week – how did it feel, the good and bad?
D: It was way harder than I imagined. I thought I’d be able to put it out of my head and not miss her. But I was way wrong. All I could do was think about her. I know she was in good hands. But when you can’t see her little face every day when you come home from work it’s stressful. There wasn’t anything good.
J: Yeah that was just bad planning... I don't think either of us realized when we booked that trip last Winter how much we would love our little sweety, to the point of never wanting to be away from her for more than a minute! Lesson learned.

J: The other day you said to me that it’s hard for those who don’t have kids yet to understand how much your life changes, how different a person you are... explain.
D: It’s one of those things you don’t understand until you’ve been there. There’s something about the responsibility of being a parent that sharpens your focus very quickly. You just do whatever it takes to make sure she’s taken care of. Other priorities can wait. This can be difficult though when you have other responsibilities (work, sports team, etc...) that are important to you. It’s a tough balance.

J: What are you looking forward to most in the next 2-3 months or so?
D: Well, one thing I’m not looking forward to is teething, which I think Janey has already started. But I am looking forward to signs of crawling and more “talking”.
J: She talks to you a lot. She talks less with me - I think that's because I'm always talking, she can never get a word in! :p

J: What advice do you have on taking care of baby for other Dads/Dads-to-be?
D: Just use common sense. Do what makes sense for your child. Don’t be too rigid with following schedules or feeding amounts or any of that stuff. Your baby will find a way to let you know when she needs something. Just go with the flow. It’s far less stressful and the baby will sense and benefit from your lowered anxiety levels.
J: I'm with you 100% on this one. Babies can totally sense your emotions - if you are anxious, nervous, upset, etc... they will feel that and react similarly. If you are relaxed and calming, there's a greater chance they will be calm as well. I proved it to myself yesterday at Jane's 4 months vaccinations... her first vaccines, I was nervous and worried for her because I knew it would upset her and it took me 30 mins to calm her down after her shots. Yesterday, I was totally calm because I knew what to expect and I had prepared as best I could - she cried for 1 minute and then was back to smiley-faced Janey. As opposed to the first vaccines where, when she cried afterward, I got stressed and upset myself, yesterday I just talked to her in a happy voice and chuckled a bit at how cute she was when she cried... totally different response from me resulted in a totally different response from her. Rocket science :p

That's all I could think of for questions related to baby... if there's anything you're curious about, let me know! Be sure to check back on Thursday for Part 2 (can't post tomorrow as tomorrow's Weigh-in Wednesday!).

Jen :)

PS - One of my blog buddies is doing a book drive to raise money to provide books to children in low-income areas. Please click here to see how you can help with Lila`s Very Hungry Caterpillar Book Drive!

Vote For Us @ topbabyblogs.com


Heather Weisse Walsh said...

Thanks for the mention about Lila's Book Drive, Jen! Don't forget to post a comment on "What's Lila Wearing" so Janey is eligible to get the free copy of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar!" :0)


Thanks again!! :0)

Charlotte- said...

I read your blog every time you post but never let you know I have stopped by...

I love the idea behind this post - I am definitely going to be dissecting my other half *coming soon to a post near you*