Oct 1, 2009

Difficult Decisions

When I neared my due date Dan and I started taking care of some big-time business that was a priority to us once we became parents - life insurance and making a will.

The life insurance part was easy... applied, had physicals done to check our health, and were accepted. We felt it was really important that if anything happened to either one of us, the last thing the other should have to worry about was finances. We both got fairly large policies - using the online "how much do I need" calculator from our bank (our insurance provider) - basically covering living expenses, university costs, etc. for the other should anything happen. Life insurance seemed like even more of a priority when I lost my job. All I could think about was if something happened to Dan and I was left with no job and a baby girl to raise - as if it wouldn't be hard enough. So, this put us both at ease.

The second part, the will, was tougher. Doing a will, thinking of one of us passing was hard but doing a will, thinking about something happening to both of us was insanely difficult. Having to think about Jane being without us and us without her... it kept me up an entire night last week. Having to think about somebody else raising her and deciding who this should be!?!?! Difficult decisions. You want your child to be raised by you! It's hard to think about anyone else who would raise her as you would and love her as much as you do. However, I think everyone NEEDS to think this through and have a plan for the worst-case scenario. So many factors to consider - lifestyle, parenting style, current family (do they already have kids), etc. You obviously want your child to be raised similarly to how you would do it yourself. For us, it was also important that Jane be raised in a family, with other kids around. Something I started worrying about as well was what happens if something happens to us, Jane goes to our chosen guardians and then something happens to them - who will she end up with then? Will she end up with people who never even knew Dan or I? It's important to Dan and I that if something happens to us that Jane grow up knowing how much we loved her and learning about the kind of people her parents were. Hard thoughts, I know. This is why I was awake thinking about it all night!

Once your decision is made, the peace of mind is worth all the anguish of those difficult decisions. Knowing you have done everything in your power to make sure your baby (and I mean babies of all ages!) is taken care of always is a great feeling... weight off your shoulders.

If you haven't thought about this already... good luck, it's hard but you must do it.

Jen :)

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1 comment:

MommyBrain said...

This was so hard to think about. We had so many tough conversations - played out scenarios - and ultimately did the best we could knowing what we know now. We used Quicken Will Maker software and did the papers ourselves and then had them signed and notarized ... a much cheaper option than getting a lawyer.

Now with number 2 on the way, we have to look at this all over again ... ugh!

On a much lighter note, I tossed a little award your way ... cuz I think you're fabulous :) Stop by to read all about it: http://mommybrainnw.blogspot.com/2009/09/may-i-have-ward-with-you.html