My right hip hurts... like the joint. Only if I've been sitting for a while - like in my car, which is pretty much my office - to the point that when I get out of the car, I limp for the first five minutes. Is this because I'm "old" or because I'm pregnant?
I'm thinking I may just be losing the proper usage of the right side of my body... For those of you who read Friday's gloriously nonsensical post, I fell on my ass on Friday. Rolled my ankle. My right ankle. I never roll my ankles. Is this due to that lovely loosening of ligaments that accompanies pregnancy and can account for the fact that the "sling" that holds my bladder up is "loose" and therefore every time I cough or sneeze (which is nonstop because I am sick), I have to (1) hold on to my vagina like it might blow off or (2) risk peeing my pants. Is the fact that, within four days, I rolled my right ankle and now have right hip joint pain all a sign of the fantastic body-failing-miserable-third-trimester symptoms to come... me thinks so.
On a brighter note, I went bathing suit shopping today. Probably the most disturbing, heartbreaking, traumatizing, and demoralizing experience I've ever had. It was scary. Scary bad. I used to go to Jane's swimming lessons feeling somewhat good - like, I was at least not the least attractive mom in the pool. Now I'm the pregnant, droopy-boobed mom at the swimming pool - that people will feel bad for. "ahh... she's pregnant, god love her..." But I couldn't resist. For two weeks I've sat on the sidelines while Dan has done swimming lessons with Jane and (1) it kills me to not be in the water having fun with her and (2) it kills me to not have control of the situation and have to sit there, and not bark out commands to Dan about what I think he should be doing to try and help Jane feel comfortable jumping into the water. This is one of the toughest parts of parenting - not criticizing... you can call it "offering suggestions" if you want, but when you're the one receiving suggestions, it's criticism and it doesn't usually go down well (trust me, I've also been on the receiving end many times). I think part of me also feels a little scared as I think the fact that I've had to sit on the sidelines of swimming lessons is indicative of what life may be like when baby number two arrives... I might be on the sidelines a lot...
In three months, I'm going to miss things. I'm not going to be able to go everywhere and anywhere I want to with Jane all the time. I'm going to have another child who wants and needs my attention - and, being a breastfeeding mom and dedicated to not introducing a bottle before 6 weeks - I'm basically tied to said child for at least that amount of time. Can I take the baby with me? Heck yes. But, I'm not one for breastfeeding in the middle of the swimming pool deck... I'm going to miss things. Jane and Daddy are going to be going off and leaving mommy and baby home. :( How am I going to handle not being Jane's one and only... and vice versa? ARGH! I mean, obviously Daddy is a big part of her life, but I'm "MOOOOOMMMY". And, anyone who's a mommy knows what I mean by that. Jane doesn't wake up calling out for daddy in the middle of the night... which sucks and is heartwarming all at the same time.
My goodness y'all are going to get an ear-full when all this "goes down" (literally and figuratively)... it's going to be quite the experience.