Feb 16, 2012

17 weeks pregnant

This week, I skipped over the part about how the baby's supposed to be developing - not because it's not important but because, honestly, it's kinda boring. He or she is x inches and has bones or something now. Point is, baby is growing and hopefully, healthily. I am dying for my twenty week ultrasound for peace of mind.  

First time moms often start to feel their baby's movements around now. Many women report that the first sensations are fluttery or like butterflies in the stomach. Unfortunately, your partner won't be able to share in your excitement just yet -- real kicking doesn't usually start for a month or so. Finally felt the baby move this week! Yipee! Not a whole lot but a few days ago in the bathtub was the first time and then this afternoon he/she was boucin' up a storm in there. I hope this one's a mover! Jane was a real mover - I could sit and watch my belly make waves as she flipped around and I loved it. After she was born, I used to think I still felt her - it was probably just gas. 

As your body gently expands (is this really the best term they could come up with - expands? why didn't they say "as you body gently blows the eff up" or "as you body gently fattens until you feel like your pants are cutting off circulation to your upper body - which may be another reason for mommy brain - lack of oxygen to the brain..."), you may feel less than glamorous. Ya think? The more of these emails I get, the more I wonder if there's a male writing these weekly updates. Less than glamorous. Tell me like it really is. I feel like s***. I look at my reflection and get depressed. I am still looking up at my skinny jeans that I hid in the back of the closet (see here) and wanting to try them on. It's only that I literally was a genius and tucked them way the frig up there so I'd have to get a stool and I'm too fat and lazy to do that right now just so I can realize that in a mere 6 weeks, I went from slim to JIM (belushi).  Take some time to feel good about your changing body in the coming weeks. Yes. I plan to do that. In fact, I might ask for the day off from work tomorrow so I can take some time to realize that the fact that my body is EXPANDING is FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC and that, despite that it's wonderful that a baby is growing inside me, it's not so wonderful that my ass is EXPANDING and my face is decaying. Even if you don't feel attractive your partner probably still finds you a turn on -- some men find the roundness that pregnancy gives to women's figures very appealing. HA! Men find the roundness appealing. I've been with my husband for 8 years. Men don't find the roundness appealing... they aren't picky about whether its round, square or triangular as long as it's got boobs and a vagina. My husband currently thinks that the reason my boobs are huge is so he can pick them up and drop them just to watch them bounce.  It's no longer safe to have sex right up until 45 weeks after your water breaks, provided there is no medical reason that would keep you from ever having sex again, such as bleeding on any part of your body including hands, feet or nose. (I may have altered that sentence slightly so that Dan doesn't get any ridiculous ideas :p). Some women find that their libido increases during pregnancy (are these those same crazy women who need to read about extreme exercise while pregnant?) while others go off making love (go off making love to who? :p) -- it's quite normal either way. If finding a comfortable position is the problem then follow our tips. Yeah. that's the problem. 

You may also notice that the areola, the darkish area around your nipples, is getting larger as your breasts expand. It's a harmless side effect (again, a man is writing this crap... harmless? So my body's not only expanding but the one thing I had going for me in my gigantic boobs is now a write off as my boobs are now hideously unattractive as well.) of pregnancy but it may last as long as 12 months after the birth (doesn't matter anyways - see above re: the new sex guidelines :p). You may have noticed other skin changes such as the linea nigra and the mask of pregnancy; both of which will also fade after the baby is born. I don't even need to mention about other skin changes. My face is rotting and falling off my body. If there's a pregnancy mask, I'll buy it today tyvm

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