Is it at all possible that my 16 month old is going through the "terrible twos"?
There are things I will take responsibility for - like the fact that she won't go to sleep without a nummy - that's my fault, yes - but the drama, the rebellion, the defiance, where did this come from? Is it my fault?
Some days are fabulous. And, honestly, I thought Jane was getting "better" - i.e. she seems to respond to "No" more now vs. laughing at you. But some days I feel like I am disciplining (i.e. yelling at her and taking things away from her and making her screech) for hours at a time!
For instance, tonight, we were drawing on the white board together... and, of course, she started to try and draw on the entertainment unit. So, I started with the "no's" and that worked. But, then she started trying to put the marker in her mouth. By the third time, I took the marker away from her. She cried bloody murder. And, it's things, on and off, like this for hours on end! Another example - again, tonight - we were reading books and we had already read this book five times, backwards and frontwards and upside down, so I put that book down to grab another one. Well, didn't I basically get whacked in the face with the book as Miss Drama screamed at me, pushing the book in my face, demanding we read that book again. So, I said a firm "no", lifted her off me, and walked away. To me, this seems like the common sense approach to not spoiling her - she misbehaves and I do not give her what she wants, letting her know that the way she has behaved will not have good consequences, non? HELP!!
What the heck do I do? I hate that some days the few hours I get to spend with her in the evenings are bouts of screeching because she acts defiantly and I won't give her her way in between periods of fun. Seriously, what the heck do I do? Or am I doing the right things?
Am I doing something wrong? Sometimes I feel like I'm the worst Mom ever! I worry that I'm so worried about "spoiling her" that I'm over-disciplining her... as much as I don't want a spoiled brat, I hate that she's crying all the time - well, not all the time, but you know what I mean - tonight we had two-three breakdowns! Am I responding to the breakdowns properly? Honestly, I have no idea how to respond to them! I usually just try to distract her away from what's making her screech and that works. But should I just ignore her? Obviously I shouldn't comfort her, right? I don't know! AHHHHH!! This is serious rocket science. Being a parent is HARD, HARD, HARD. Having to worry about all the consequences of your actions - knowing that they will affect the little person you are helping develop is STRESSFUL!
I'm reading a book right now. It's been awhile since I resorted to reading a book by the "experts" but this book is from the same series I relied on during pregnancy, babyhood and now the toddler period - The Mother of All... series. And, it says all the things I am describing above (about the drama, defiance, independance, etc.) are "normal". Yeah, well they sure don't feel normal when I'm getting notes from daycare saying my daughter needs to work on her "listening ears". The over-protective Mom in me wants to rationalize it and say that Jane is just advanced and going through the terrible twos early. But, I'm really just worried that Dan and I aren't being effective in disciplining Jane or that we're not responding properly when she throws these tantrums. I haven't gotten far enough into the book to read what you should and should not do or suggested strategies for discipline. Maybe I'm doing the right things? AHHH! Maybe I should read further.
Any suggestions? Has anyone been through this or am I all on my own here?