Remember when we were younger? Remember when the summer seemed to take an eternity to arrive? And, when it finally did, those two months seemed to last forever? What happened to those days? Is it that we become so busy in our "old age" that time seems to go by faster because we aren't paying as much attention to life as we used to? Hmmm.
Recently, Dan and I sat down and looked through all our pictures from 2009. The pregnant belly pictures, the pictures taken after Jane was born, our first few days home... it's not until we revisited these moments that we realize just how much has happened in a year and how much time has passed. Jane has changed so much. She has grown from a helpless newborn into a little lady, full of personality and always looking for trouble. Everything she does makes me laugh. It's so hard not to crack a smile when she's doing something "bad" and I'm saying "no. no. no." over and over. Already she reminds me a little of myself.
We remembered when we were bouncing-around-the-room excited because she was reaching up to hit the toy hanging from her activity center, unable to move herself much more than a swinging arm. Now, every day is a new development... eating solids, sitting up, first bites of toast, crawling, "talking", feeding herself, drinking from a sippy cup, pulling herself up - it never ends! I've been trying to teach her "party tricks" lately like waving, blowing kisses and clapping. She thinks it's all pretty funny at this point, watching Mommy act like a crazy person to try and get a reaction out of her. Anything for a smile!
I've started looking for jobs. I remember when Jane was weeks old and I barely put her down. She slept on my chest for naps. I never left her for more than an hour. The thought of leaving her for more than a few hours would have broken my heart. Now, the thought is less heart breaking. I know, in the long run, it will be good for her to socialize at daycare. I know, for me, it will be nice to get back to myself a bit more. Being a Mom is the most important part of me but it's not the entirety of me. I have other dreams and goals as well. Despite the guilt I feel in going back to work and in looking forward to it, I know that Jane will be proud of her Mom once she is old enough to understand it all.
I think of what we have to look forward to - first words, birthdays, first steps - so many firsts. It seems so far away right now but eight months ago, crawling and eating solids seemed like far-off thoughts.
Eight months. I honestly can't believe it. Time flies.
PS - Pictures above our from another one of our "photoshoots"... taken last week.